Sick of it all

Apr 23, 2003 16:23

Well I've been outside working on my kick and ive finally got it down! about time. But the kicks ive been having are perfect! I love it. Well earlier today all ive really done is been online and all morning long and people just kept sayin these dumb ass comments and 1 person really made me feel bad about myself. i mean for the past 2 days ive been feeling really pretty and everything and then he brings up something and it just CRUSHED my confidence. I try to forget those days adn he brought it all back up i was like hey thanks buddy. and then he tries telling me "but that was back then your really hot now and soo many people like you" bullshit no one likes me. ill always be the fat ugly little girl that no one knows. but oh well. its just really been bothering me ever since he said it and i had to get it out. even though this wont do. im sick of not have nothin, anything. last night i was looking at all my emails cause i had to delete some things and i was reading through some of the conversations ive had with someone. and i was like what the hell how can you tell me all this. and then i read one and it was just from a couple of months ago and it was all like i still really like you and all this other stuff and i was reading it and it all hit me hard like wow... i dont know i dont even know what im trying to say. but im sick of being soo fat adn ugly i cant really take it anymore. oh well. tonight is my brothers softball game i cant wait it should be some fun. but this is gonna be in my head for awhile now. god! ahh. well im off to go back outside. bye
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