想念是会呼吸的痛
My first blog post from the computer for a long time :D
Still awake at 5am, and I'm supposed to wake up at 10 plus tomorrow to meet Gernaine for lunch, and AJ's place after to mug )):
AND I ACTUALLY WENT TO P AGAIN last night HAHAHAHA. Went with G, Clara, Geraldine and Danny. I find it amusing that I can actually click with the SMU people; but the fact that it's S's clique leaves a rather bad aftertaste. I don't want to be taking over her friends. Oh wait, she has no friends. Mean but I really detest people who 重色轻友.
As for the clubbing, last night was relatively free to dance (: but i had a semi stalker across the dance floor again. LOL. I thought he was okay, but he sounded damn ah beng and gave off the bad boy vibe. NO MORE BAD BOYS; I'm not gonna fuck my life over. The resemblance is too much to bear. But i seem to feel more at east, with being more physically comfortable with the opposite gender. I hate J for making me feel that I belong to him so wholly, that I even feel this now. It's been 4 fucking months, way too long to feel like shit. Finally, i can say I'm free, even though he still has me enslaved to the standard that he is - nobody is good looking anymore, not even G's handsome.
Then there was this super gross bespectacled guy (who looks quite Korean imo) who kept touching my ass. Good god, i elbowed him and pushed his hands away countless times before he stopped. Fucking annoying. But at least I finally got abit high last night compared to the past few times. Thank you tequila shots, even though you're quite gross.
On another topic, Lincoln and YZ broke up. We found out on Tuesday night, when G, AJ and I were studying at the SMU library. She feels like me three years back, and almost the same age as well. I totally understand what she's going through, and I don't understand why Lincoln doesn't learn from his mistakes. Why doesn't he see that the way he handles things is really bad and hurtful? I hate how feelings abruptly end for him; and that he shows no sign of it.
Last night, G asked if I would take him back, if he loved me as much as before. I don't think so; my position on second chances hasn't changed. If he can hurt you once, he can hurt you again. People are like that, they may be grateful for awhile; but they forget. Same goes for J, as much as I love him, I won't take him back even if he begged me because he's a fucking loser who relies on women too much his entire life. He can't go without them. I need someone made of stronger stuff, stronger will power and more discipline.
Maybe I'll never find him.
Meh. Who needs men.
我的微笑都假了, 灵魂像飘浮着, 你在就好了.
The pain never really goes away.
Still awake at 5am, and I'm supposed to wake up at 10 plus tomorrow to meet Gernaine for lunch, and AJ's place after to mug )):
AND I ACTUALLY WENT TO P AGAIN last night HAHAHAHA. Went with G, Clara, Geraldine and Danny. I find it amusing that I can actually click with the SMU people; but the fact that it's S's clique leaves a rather bad aftertaste. I don't want to be taking over her friends. Oh wait, she has no friends. Mean but I really detest people who 重色轻友.
As for the clubbing, last night was relatively free to dance (: but i had a semi stalker across the dance floor again. LOL. I thought he was okay, but he sounded damn ah beng and gave off the bad boy vibe. NO MORE BAD BOYS; I'm not gonna fuck my life over. The resemblance is too much to bear. But i seem to feel more at east, with being more physically comfortable with the opposite gender. I hate J for making me feel that I belong to him so wholly, that I even feel this now. It's been 4 fucking months, way too long to feel like shit. Finally, i can say I'm free, even though he still has me enslaved to the standard that he is - nobody is good looking anymore, not even G's handsome.
Then there was this super gross bespectacled guy (who looks quite Korean imo) who kept touching my ass. Good god, i elbowed him and pushed his hands away countless times before he stopped. Fucking annoying. But at least I finally got abit high last night compared to the past few times. Thank you tequila shots, even though you're quite gross.
On another topic, Lincoln and YZ broke up. We found out on Tuesday night, when G, AJ and I were studying at the SMU library. She feels like me three years back, and almost the same age as well. I totally understand what she's going through, and I don't understand why Lincoln doesn't learn from his mistakes. Why doesn't he see that the way he handles things is really bad and hurtful? I hate how feelings abruptly end for him; and that he shows no sign of it.
Last night, G asked if I would take him back, if he loved me as much as before. I don't think so; my position on second chances hasn't changed. If he can hurt you once, he can hurt you again. People are like that, they may be grateful for awhile; but they forget. Same goes for J, as much as I love him, I won't take him back even if he begged me because he's a fucking loser who relies on women too much his entire life. He can't go without them. I need someone made of stronger stuff, stronger will power and more discipline.
Maybe I'll never find him.
Meh. Who needs men.
我的微笑都假了, 灵魂像飘浮着, 你在就好了.
The pain never really goes away.