self preservation and forgiveness...

Jan 21, 2004 19:39

I have seen what an emphasis on preservation of the self over forgiveness of others, does to people. I have seen it evidenced in my husband and my lover: steventaylor and davidshaw. Neither are what you would call happy men. They both strive for excellence in their own ways. They both are obsessed with the pursuit of their goals. And neither is ever satisfied. They are ( Read more... )

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davidshaw January 21 2004, 09:30:10 UTC
Emily... can we talk?

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emilytaylor January 21 2004, 09:57:46 UTC
"I thought I made it clear that you were not to call again, David." Emily begins to laugh. It is a hard laugh. Not the light tone that David is used to. "Although I really should get out of the habit of calling you that. No. I should be out of the habit of calling you anything at all. Goodbye, David... Winston, whoever you are now." She doesn't hang up, not straight away, she can't.

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davidshaw January 21 2004, 10:03:50 UTC
David hears the momentary reluctance and continues to speak. "Emily, don't be like this. Please. Let me explain --"

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emilytaylor January 21 2004, 10:14:54 UTC
"Explain? You don't need to explain. My husband already did that for me. I know everything. I know about the widow in San Fransisco, I know that it was no coincidence we met, I know you didn't study in Berkley." Emily feels her temper rising, she cannot believe he still affects her this way. "All I can do is be thankful that despite what I did to him, to us, that Steven is willing to forgive it. To move beyond it. I doubt I would have been so charitable if he had invited some career criminal into our bed."

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davidshaw January 21 2004, 10:23:57 UTC
Now that is irritating. Somehow Steven has come out of this as the saviour and David can't even tell Emily that he had paid him to kill her. "Steven? You are thankful to Steven? Emily -- you don't love Steven. You don't even like him. A month ago you were planning to leave him. And it wasn't just me. Your marraige was a farce long before I turned up."

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emilytaylor January 21 2004, 10:31:49 UTC
"You should be thanking Steven. I would have gone straight to the police with everything if he hadn't suggested it would just cause more problems that it would solve."

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davidshaw January 21 2004, 10:36:43 UTC
"Emily ---" And he realises she has hung up. David calls back. Several times. But she does not answer, will not answer. And so he goes and has a drink and swallows some pills and tries to relax.

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