How did I lose my virginity?

[emilytaylor]

I lost my virginity in my freshman year at college

Comments

[dean_actually]

Passion has such a high price

That's true Emily. But without it...you said it yourself, whatever the reason, passion gives you knowledge of your potential.

Not an everyday thing, no, but I believe that sometimes it's worth it, that that knowledge is important.

[emilytaylor]

Perhaps, Dean. Perhaps. However there is also something to be said for living a good life. Not ones with such extreme highs and lows, but one in which you do what is right and honourable, even if it is not particularily exciting.

[dean_actually]

That's true, too.
I guess it really depends on what you want.

I know that feeling too much is shaking my world a lot, but at this moment in my life I wouldn't give it up for anything else.

It's a personal choice, however. I hope you're feeling better than the other day. I'd like for you to live a good life, yes.

[emilytaylor]

*gently* Perhaps it shouldn't be about what you want... but what is right. Have you considered that?

[dean_actually]

Not really, no.
But...right for whom, Emily?

For yourself, for those who care about you, right for society...
*laughs quietly* there are so many rules, I'm not much good with rules.

[emilytaylor]

Rules are not such a terrible thing, Dean. Imagine life without them?

[dean_actually]

Some rules are necessary, yes. But others go overboard, become impositions, don't you think?

[emilytaylor]

Of course.

I suppose the most important thing would be principles. Do you have principles, Dean?

[dean_actually]

Yes, Emily, I have.

Maybe only a few, but those I hold dearly and I try to live by them. Sometime I fail but I keep trying.

And you? You certainly have principles.

[emilytaylor]

Yes.

Truth is an important principle, I think.

I intend to find out the truth.

[dean_actually]

Emily, you just said that there is something to be said for a quiet life and rules. What truth do you want to find out, and what for?

What if it'll hurt you more than what you have already been hurt?
Or waht if there is no truth to find out? you'll poison your days believing in shadows, won't you?

But if you feel you need to do it, then...

[emilytaylor]

And what if the truth has to be revealed? What if it poisons everything until it is?

Something has happened, Dean. Something my husband has not told me. It has something to do with a man called David Shaw... or whatever his name was.

[dean_actually]

If your husband didnt' tell you maybe it's for the best? For protecting you? And what...what has this guy done? If you feel like telling, I don't mean to pry, Emily, I hope you know that.

I just worry.

[emilytaylor]

Perhaps. That is what my husband would say. That he was protecting me. You sound just like him. Do all men sound the same, I wonder?

And as for David Shaw... he was not my finest moment.

[dean_actually]

*What Emily has said strikes Dean as quite funny, not that he can tell her so. He sounds like Taylor, yeah, sure.*

I doubt I sound like your husband. But that is certainly something a husband would do or say, yes.

I guess we all have one or more of these 'not finest moments'. You shouldn't regret it, though. There is always something to learn, even if it was a mistake from the way you talk about it.

We can always learn from our mistakes, Emily, don't we? I know I try. Do you?

[emilytaylor]

Of course, Dean.