(no subject)
i'm terrified. the books all say this about the time that it clicks i'm going to be a mom, and it's normal to start freaking out. good thing the book told me it's normal, because i assume i'm screwing everything up if the book doesn't say what i do is normal. i should burn the books. they're probably just making it worse. it occured to me the other day that if it wasn't for joe, the dogs probably wouldn't get fed on a regular basis. not because i don't love them, or think about them, i just forget. i can't be responsible enough to take care of a dog.
my mom, grandma, and sister sent me my first baby gift. they bought us the crib we registered for. it's still in the box, i'm afraid to put it together. it's just soooo strange and overwhelming to think that i'm going to be in charge of someone's life. i've never had a person be 100% dependent on me. somtimes i wonder if i'm doing a good job taking care of myself.
what if my kid ends up being an asshole? you know, one of those people that everyone hates. or a weirdo, the kind of person that no one likes to hate because "they mean well" but inside really don't like talking to them, because face it, they're freaking weird. what if they're ugly. not that i'm worried i would love the child less, but pretty people just seem to have it a little easier in life, that and no one wishes they're baby has to deal with being ugly.
what if I don't know what to do. what if I can't handle it. how am i supposed to drive crying to my mom's house because i just can't do it anymore. she's 2500 miles away.
i'm just a little scared.
my mom, grandma, and sister sent me my first baby gift. they bought us the crib we registered for. it's still in the box, i'm afraid to put it together. it's just soooo strange and overwhelming to think that i'm going to be in charge of someone's life. i've never had a person be 100% dependent on me. somtimes i wonder if i'm doing a good job taking care of myself.
what if my kid ends up being an asshole? you know, one of those people that everyone hates. or a weirdo, the kind of person that no one likes to hate because "they mean well" but inside really don't like talking to them, because face it, they're freaking weird. what if they're ugly. not that i'm worried i would love the child less, but pretty people just seem to have it a little easier in life, that and no one wishes they're baby has to deal with being ugly.
what if I don't know what to do. what if I can't handle it. how am i supposed to drive crying to my mom's house because i just can't do it anymore. she's 2500 miles away.
i'm just a little scared.