Dec 17, 2006 21:16
I am watching a documentary about drugs in America. It is totally interesting. I can't wait until documentaries cover issues that are occurring now. They can only be well done if they are produced at least 20 years from now. When they came out with "I love the 90's" they didn't do such a hot job, take a break.
My grandmother is in the hospital. My dad's mom. I really don't know what to think. She is such a wicked woman. She has hurt so many people in my family, enabled my alcoholic grandfather and put so much pressure on my dad to take care of her. I don't feel that sad, I mostly feel content. When you hurt someone, when you create unnecessary stress, when you criticize others you will get what you deserve. And this is why my grandmother is in the hospital. karma.
Am I an awful granddaughter? Am I acting ungrateful for the hundreds and thousands of dollars that she was FORCED into giving me for my schooling because she made a promise that she would pay for one year of college for her four grandchildren, but stopped after my two older cousins (her favorites)? Am I ungrateful for the hundreds of hand-me-downs that aren't special, but just items that she wants to get rid of? Am I terrible?
How can I feel sorry for someone that has done nothing but create a harmful environment for my dad and my uncle, constantly criticizes my sister even though she has risen above everyone who has been diagnosed with her disorder, taken my mother and aunt out of her will because they aren't "raising her grandchildren correctly" and constantly questions my way of life, academic interests, and career choices?
I will just be here for my dad because he, for some reason, still loves this woman.
I can't imagine how I would feel if someone I actually loved was in the hospital.