Personal Statement
I am sitting in my room and tears are streaming down my face. I’m stuck-stuck in a place, a moment. I feel like I can’t move forward but it is impossible to go back. What did Norman Mailer say? “There was that law of life, so cruel and so just, that one must grow or else pay more for remaining the same.” I feel like kicking my legs, flinging my arms wildly with no regard for what is around me, no regard for myself in an attempt to become unstuck. Then it comes to me-slowly, through the distorted and rippling images of tears. This is not what I want. This is not “me.” But what is “me?”
My friends say that I am optimistic but my family might disagree. I would put myself in the middle. They describe me as principled; I totally agree. I know what I believe in and how to base my decisions around it. They say I’m bubbly. Bubbly? I just love being happy and being around the people I love. I cherish the personal relationships in my life. My family, my friends-you are my world; you are what keeps me going.
I have just as much fun sitting on the couch with a pint of Ben & Jerry’s, a spoon and the people I love as I do dancing my heart out all night at a club. Sitting by the ocean with Jane Eyre waiting for my hair to bleach out under the hot sun is just as much fun as screaming at the top of my lungs on a roller coaster. I am a self-declared homebody who also loves to visit new places. I want to create my space in the world where I feel comfortable and loved, but I also want to challenge myself and go out into the world and do great things. I want to be able to share my knowledge and make a difference in someone else’s life. I want to be noticed but I want to blend in. What is “me?” What do I want?
I’m not even sure I know, but each day I come closer. Someday I’ll know. There are moments when I am having a particularly funny or meaningful conversation with my best friend and I know. There are times when I’ve just learned something really cool about Gandhi and am discussing it with my classmates and I know. Someday I’ll look back on my life and realize that each step of self-discovery, as fun as it was or as painful as it was, became an irreplaceable part of my life. But even looking back I’ll know that I’m not done knowing yet.
I am full of contradictions. I am full of happiness and love. I love the rush and the anonymity of the city, but I equally love the silence and sereneness of the country. I’m not sure what I want, but I know I’ll end up there eventually-tears or no tears. This is “me.”
My friends say that I am optimistic but my family might disagree. I would put myself in the middle. They describe me as principled; I totally agree. I know what I believe in and how to base my decisions around it. They say I’m bubbly. Bubbly? I just love being happy and being around the people I love. I cherish the personal relationships in my life. My family, my friends-you are my world; you are what keeps me going.
I have just as much fun sitting on the couch with a pint of Ben & Jerry’s, a spoon and the people I love as I do dancing my heart out all night at a club. Sitting by the ocean with Jane Eyre waiting for my hair to bleach out under the hot sun is just as much fun as screaming at the top of my lungs on a roller coaster. I am a self-declared homebody who also loves to visit new places. I want to create my space in the world where I feel comfortable and loved, but I also want to challenge myself and go out into the world and do great things. I want to be able to share my knowledge and make a difference in someone else’s life. I want to be noticed but I want to blend in. What is “me?” What do I want?
I’m not even sure I know, but each day I come closer. Someday I’ll know. There are moments when I am having a particularly funny or meaningful conversation with my best friend and I know. There are times when I’ve just learned something really cool about Gandhi and am discussing it with my classmates and I know. Someday I’ll look back on my life and realize that each step of self-discovery, as fun as it was or as painful as it was, became an irreplaceable part of my life. But even looking back I’ll know that I’m not done knowing yet.
I am full of contradictions. I am full of happiness and love. I love the rush and the anonymity of the city, but I equally love the silence and sereneness of the country. I’m not sure what I want, but I know I’ll end up there eventually-tears or no tears. This is “me.”