Putting God in his place
I came home form summer school after spending an awful day with an idiot substitute teacher, writing two tests and a quiz. It was boiling out and I was wearing a sweater. My bra was digging in my back, my top was scratching my armpits, and my pants kept falling down because I neglected to put on a belt. When I came home, nobody was home, so I had to dig through my bag and pull everything out to find the key. When I was inside, I discovered that we had no milk (and I'm a milk junkie) I was starving, so I went to make some soup. I got the soup and the pot, but couldn't find the can-opener anywhere in the kitchen. One of my favourite shows was supposed to start at 3, but because I had such a bad day, I figured it wouldn't be on or it would be the one that was on yesterday (the channel I watch it on has a history of playing the same episode several days in a row or putting on the most random impromtu marathons for really crappy shows). I was pissed. Now, I'm not an atheist 24/7. When I'm having a bad day, I believe in God; I believe in a God that's screwing me over. So I started screaming and swearing to the ceiling, calling God an array of names. I wasn't serious, of course, I was just pissed and needed someone to blame. Once I was done screaming, it was 3. So I turned on the TV and discovered that my show was, in fact on. Not only that, it was one of my favourite episodes that I hadn't seen in years. Then I walked into the kitchen and discovered with ease the missing can-opener. My conclusion: don't waste your time worshipping God. Just swear and scream at him a bit. Put him in his place; show him who's boss. Then you can get whatever you want.