Reality
I told someone today that I don't post here that much anymore--and then it just made me want to see if Kate and Brodizzo (holla!) had posted anything recently and I see you guys have (woo! looove reading the brodizzo entries as usual) and I thought I should add something too...p.s. the ants left--yay! I think they are movin' on up--to the Eastside lol...
I find that reality is one of those things I run away from because it can be painful. It has been brought to my attention on multiple occassions lately that it's difficult to have a serious conversation with me--I mean, you know it's bad when you can't connect with your father beyond the funny things that happen at school. Neither of my parents know me, I mean geez--even the people that I consider to be my best friends don't really know me. The last person who really knew me was my first boyfriend who I really fucked over. I think that's when people stopped knowing me--when I stopped knowing myself.
I have grown up in the last month. I live by myself. I have set goals for my life. I know what I want. But I still wear masks. I still set up false pretenses just so I have a safety. I guess I do it because every time I let my guard down even the slightest bit, I get fucked over. Karma I guess.
Okay, what I'm getting at here is that I watched a life-changing (for me anyway) movie. I'm sure some people might watch it and not take anything away from it, but then, I know some people LOVED Harold and Kumar go to White Castle (mostly who smoke a lot of weed) and I didn't get it, so go figure. Lars and the Real Girl was phenomenal. There. It touched me, not because I'm delusional and walk around with a mannekin claiming it's my boyfriend or anything like that, but because other people loved him (Lars) enough, to go along with him.
So I'll explain a little further because otherwise, it sounds like I support weird fetishes (when in reality it depends on the fetish--haha just kidding).
Movie Premise:
Lars is a young man who has become a social hermit after growing up with a father who became a hernit after his wife died (Lars' mother--during Lars' birth). Lars' only example growing up was this man who kept to himself, thus causing Lars to become a hermit as well. He's a sweet guy and everyone in the town loves him, but he has no idea what to do with women whatsoever--yet it's obvious (and biologically natural) that he is lonely, so he purchases a life-size sex doll after his perverted co-worker shows him the webpage on the internet. Lars, being extremely religious (and completely delusional--don't forget) manufactures a backstory for his doll, Bianca, and then asks if she can sleep at his brother and siser-in-law's house since it wouldn't be religiously moral for her to stay in his guesthouse in their backyard. After consulting with a physician who believes that it is best for them to play along with the situation until Lars works it out himself, his brother and sister-in-law agree AND have the added burden of getting the whole town to play along as well...and the amazing thing is that they do. The entire town, including a woman who has a crush on Lars, plays along and embraces "Bianca."
There are really two themes that should be explored in this movie now that I think about it. One is the whole "if you love someone you'll do anything to help them" and the orher is really that essential question: "what is real?"
Is reality what we all agree upon, or can it be different for everyone? I see an event different from how you see it, so what really happened? What is the reality of the situation?
In Lars' world, Bianca was real, but to everyone else, she was just a creepy-ass doll. People would argue that everyone else was right--that Lars was the one with the problem, but hasn't anyone ever heard the saying "what is popular is not always right, and what is right is not always popular"? Ummm--I have...wait--we all took DARE, right? We've all heard that. So--I ask again...what is real?
I guess, at this point, I think what an individual perceives to be real, is. Simple as that. That doesn't mean that everything I say is real because I don't say everything I perceive. Neither do you. What I'm saying is that we each have our own reality and we can pick and choose with whom we share our reality. So now I have come to the end of my manifesto here and I'm saying that I really want to share my reality with someone...finally. You know what? I think I'm just at that point where I see no point in portraying false identities for protection. I'm a real girl.
I find that reality is one of those things I run away from because it can be painful. It has been brought to my attention on multiple occassions lately that it's difficult to have a serious conversation with me--I mean, you know it's bad when you can't connect with your father beyond the funny things that happen at school. Neither of my parents know me, I mean geez--even the people that I consider to be my best friends don't really know me. The last person who really knew me was my first boyfriend who I really fucked over. I think that's when people stopped knowing me--when I stopped knowing myself.
I have grown up in the last month. I live by myself. I have set goals for my life. I know what I want. But I still wear masks. I still set up false pretenses just so I have a safety. I guess I do it because every time I let my guard down even the slightest bit, I get fucked over. Karma I guess.
Okay, what I'm getting at here is that I watched a life-changing (for me anyway) movie. I'm sure some people might watch it and not take anything away from it, but then, I know some people LOVED Harold and Kumar go to White Castle (mostly who smoke a lot of weed) and I didn't get it, so go figure. Lars and the Real Girl was phenomenal. There. It touched me, not because I'm delusional and walk around with a mannekin claiming it's my boyfriend or anything like that, but because other people loved him (Lars) enough, to go along with him.
So I'll explain a little further because otherwise, it sounds like I support weird fetishes (when in reality it depends on the fetish--haha just kidding).
Movie Premise:
Lars is a young man who has become a social hermit after growing up with a father who became a hernit after his wife died (Lars' mother--during Lars' birth). Lars' only example growing up was this man who kept to himself, thus causing Lars to become a hermit as well. He's a sweet guy and everyone in the town loves him, but he has no idea what to do with women whatsoever--yet it's obvious (and biologically natural) that he is lonely, so he purchases a life-size sex doll after his perverted co-worker shows him the webpage on the internet. Lars, being extremely religious (and completely delusional--don't forget) manufactures a backstory for his doll, Bianca, and then asks if she can sleep at his brother and siser-in-law's house since it wouldn't be religiously moral for her to stay in his guesthouse in their backyard. After consulting with a physician who believes that it is best for them to play along with the situation until Lars works it out himself, his brother and sister-in-law agree AND have the added burden of getting the whole town to play along as well...and the amazing thing is that they do. The entire town, including a woman who has a crush on Lars, plays along and embraces "Bianca."
There are really two themes that should be explored in this movie now that I think about it. One is the whole "if you love someone you'll do anything to help them" and the orher is really that essential question: "what is real?"
Is reality what we all agree upon, or can it be different for everyone? I see an event different from how you see it, so what really happened? What is the reality of the situation?
In Lars' world, Bianca was real, but to everyone else, she was just a creepy-ass doll. People would argue that everyone else was right--that Lars was the one with the problem, but hasn't anyone ever heard the saying "what is popular is not always right, and what is right is not always popular"? Ummm--I have...wait--we all took DARE, right? We've all heard that. So--I ask again...what is real?
I guess, at this point, I think what an individual perceives to be real, is. Simple as that. That doesn't mean that everything I say is real because I don't say everything I perceive. Neither do you. What I'm saying is that we each have our own reality and we can pick and choose with whom we share our reality. So now I have come to the end of my manifesto here and I'm saying that I really want to share my reality with someone...finally. You know what? I think I'm just at that point where I see no point in portraying false identities for protection. I'm a real girl.