gettin sick and tired
so last weekend i thought i made it CRYSTAL CLEAR to kevin that i never wanted to talk to him again! well apparently not since i get a text message monday night.
"even if u hate me, i just want to say im sorry, i hope you can @ some point forgive me... U will always be in my heart Emily Joy no mater what! @}---)----"
now does that seem like someone who understood me? no i dont think so, because friday night on the way home from wayne, at 230, i get a phone call. and it's kevin, trying to say basically the same thing the text message says. so i start screaming at him, basically telling him to stop calling me, and hang up the phone. we get into this big bullshit fight between away messages this afternoon, and what do you think happens?? he calls me a slut. im not surprised, i mean he is a 21year old virgin! everyone in this world is a slut to him! just because i wont give it up to him he got all pissy at me. i seriously hope that this is the end of all this.
on a better note, i talked to shane last night! he made me cry, but i think its a good thing. he made me realise how afraid i was before, and how i really dont have to be. i did feel guilty though, because he holds NO grudge against me! i missed him a lot, i really did, but it also reminded me about how i felt about the two of us, how we simply arent equal. im not trying to say he's not good enough for me, but the reality is that we are from 2 different worlds, and i just feel like i would be giving up a lot to be with him. i'm supposed to call him today, but i dont know if i can do it. i like him a lot, and i love spending time with him, but i know that i will never feel truly happy if i settle.
"even if u hate me, i just want to say im sorry, i hope you can @ some point forgive me... U will always be in my heart Emily Joy no mater what! @}---)----"
now does that seem like someone who understood me? no i dont think so, because friday night on the way home from wayne, at 230, i get a phone call. and it's kevin, trying to say basically the same thing the text message says. so i start screaming at him, basically telling him to stop calling me, and hang up the phone. we get into this big bullshit fight between away messages this afternoon, and what do you think happens?? he calls me a slut. im not surprised, i mean he is a 21year old virgin! everyone in this world is a slut to him! just because i wont give it up to him he got all pissy at me. i seriously hope that this is the end of all this.
on a better note, i talked to shane last night! he made me cry, but i think its a good thing. he made me realise how afraid i was before, and how i really dont have to be. i did feel guilty though, because he holds NO grudge against me! i missed him a lot, i really did, but it also reminded me about how i felt about the two of us, how we simply arent equal. im not trying to say he's not good enough for me, but the reality is that we are from 2 different worlds, and i just feel like i would be giving up a lot to be with him. i'm supposed to call him today, but i dont know if i can do it. i like him a lot, and i love spending time with him, but i know that i will never feel truly happy if i settle.