On Privilege and Projections
(note: this was originally written by me as a response to a series of transphobic comments made by readers of a queer news blog. I reposted it here because this is a message that needs to be heard and reprinted wherever. Feel free to reprint this article, just remember to give credit for it.)
You know, it's so easy for you [cisgender] people to just look at someone and say you know what gender a person is, isn't it? It doesn't impact you in any way, so you just mosey along without a care. But guess what, you have the privilege of not having to think about your gender. You just are what you are, and you don't have any conflict to deal with.
It's so different for myself or anybody else who is trans. I'm at a point in my life, now that I've succeeded in my transition, where I am at peace with myself and who I am. I continually strive for personal growth like everyone else, but ultimately I am now happy with my gendered life. But, until recently, it wasn't always like that. To have a mind that can't match your physiology is a nightmarish situation that is difficult to escape, and unfortunately all to often the "cure" is perceived as worse than the "disease." Finding my gender was a difficult struggle that almost tore my life apart. The only path to finding that peace was to realize who I really was, inside, a woman.
Yet so many people strive to deny me that right. To project their own opinions about who I am on me. Yet how can anybody else do that? Nobody has my experience in life but myself. Without that crucial bit of evidence, nobody can say who I am but me. Otherwise, if you are free to tell me that I am a man, then I am just as free to tell you who you are - whether I should choose to invalidate your gender, culture, religion, social status or any other aspect of your life.
You stick to your own privilege, and I'll gladly stick to mine. Otherwise, all bets are off.
You know, it's so easy for you [cisgender] people to just look at someone and say you know what gender a person is, isn't it? It doesn't impact you in any way, so you just mosey along without a care. But guess what, you have the privilege of not having to think about your gender. You just are what you are, and you don't have any conflict to deal with.
It's so different for myself or anybody else who is trans. I'm at a point in my life, now that I've succeeded in my transition, where I am at peace with myself and who I am. I continually strive for personal growth like everyone else, but ultimately I am now happy with my gendered life. But, until recently, it wasn't always like that. To have a mind that can't match your physiology is a nightmarish situation that is difficult to escape, and unfortunately all to often the "cure" is perceived as worse than the "disease." Finding my gender was a difficult struggle that almost tore my life apart. The only path to finding that peace was to realize who I really was, inside, a woman.
Yet so many people strive to deny me that right. To project their own opinions about who I am on me. Yet how can anybody else do that? Nobody has my experience in life but myself. Without that crucial bit of evidence, nobody can say who I am but me. Otherwise, if you are free to tell me that I am a man, then I am just as free to tell you who you are - whether I should choose to invalidate your gender, culture, religion, social status or any other aspect of your life.
You stick to your own privilege, and I'll gladly stick to mine. Otherwise, all bets are off.