Some Roses Have Really Sharp Thorns...
Shakespeare's famous line from Romeo and Juliet speaks volumes about what a name can mean. To Romeo, it meant nothing, the name Capulet was just another label, a way to identify Juliet, or more specifically, her family. Romeo ended up not caring that she was a Capulet, he only saw Juliet. But the play exposes to us just how important a name can mean to somebody. Romeo was a Montague. Even though he'd done nothing to hurt the Capulets himself, long before he slew Mercutio, he was hated by the Capulet family, for his name.
We as trans individuals, share in the struggle of Romeo and Juliet, the struggle to make it clear just what our names mean - and what they say about who we are. I myself struggled with my name before I chose it - I toyed with a number of different names. I started with a feminization of my old boy name, but somehow it didn't fit. I toyed with a number of different girl names, some that I thought were very pretty - but only Emily matched.
So you see, a name can mean a lot to a person, and calling someone the wrong name can be hurtful. I know many a trans person who wish to keep their old names to themselves, so when that name is outted, they're pissed - and deeply hurt too. Being referred to as a name that reflects another gender is humiliating. It's almost as bad as saying you're not a real man because you don't have a dick. If you care about someone, whether as a friend or something more, who is transgendered, you should have enough respect for your friend to address her by their proper name, especially in the presence of others.
Romeo made his statement about what a name can mean. The only problem is, he was wrong, and he died because of his error. So next time you want to hang out with your transgendered friend, why not think twice before calling your Capulet a Montague.
We as trans individuals, share in the struggle of Romeo and Juliet, the struggle to make it clear just what our names mean - and what they say about who we are. I myself struggled with my name before I chose it - I toyed with a number of different names. I started with a feminization of my old boy name, but somehow it didn't fit. I toyed with a number of different girl names, some that I thought were very pretty - but only Emily matched.
So you see, a name can mean a lot to a person, and calling someone the wrong name can be hurtful. I know many a trans person who wish to keep their old names to themselves, so when that name is outted, they're pissed - and deeply hurt too. Being referred to as a name that reflects another gender is humiliating. It's almost as bad as saying you're not a real man because you don't have a dick. If you care about someone, whether as a friend or something more, who is transgendered, you should have enough respect for your friend to address her by their proper name, especially in the presence of others.
Romeo made his statement about what a name can mean. The only problem is, he was wrong, and he died because of his error. So next time you want to hang out with your transgendered friend, why not think twice before calling your Capulet a Montague.