Life-Changing Circumstances
Hey there. I just wanted to share this with everyone because, for the first time in a long time, I have a clear frame of mind. As some of you know, my Uncle Fran was diagnosed with cancer four years ago. He had a tumor removed and was doing really well. I went home over Labor Day weekend (thank god!) and went up to my Aunt Sis and Uncle Fran's camp. This was, unknown to me, the last time I would see him alive. Although he was looking gray and not himself, I knew that he was doing good under the circumstances. On Monday, September 19th, my mother called to tell me that the doctors did more tests and found that, unfortunately, the cancer had spread to my Uncle's lungs and brain. The doctors said there was nothing else they could do, even though they still had him scheduled for treatment! ALthough I don't remember, my grandfather lived a few weeks after this stage, and many of us thought we would have more time with Uncle Fran. On Tuesday, September 20, my Uncle was having trouble breathing and was very uncomfortable, so my Aunt called another Aunt who is a nurse and they called 911. Four hours later, he was dead. I'm not sure if he let himself go to get away from the pain, but I would like to think that he didn't live in pain and discomfort as many people do in their last days.
So why have I told you all this? Over the last few months, I have been throwing the idea back and forth about moving back home with my parents. Even though I'm only 5 hours away, I feel a million miles away. I had to "fight" to get time off and I had to give up time in order to be able to get paid for that time off. After being with my family, I've realized I am almost a stranger to them. I am hardly ever home in New York, and when I am, it's for such a short time, I don't get to see anyone. The fact that I saw my family at a funeral was saddening to me. I have never known something so well until this weekend. I need to be home and I am just thankful I went home Labor Day and was able to see my Uncle one last time. The only thing I would have here is Matt (who is planning on going to Miami) and many of my friends. I determined this weekend that family would NEVER be put after a guy, and that things between Matt and I will soon be over. As for my friends, I know that is what they will always be, and they will won't ever leave my mind.
It's hard to believe that something unexpected and highly emotional would create such clarity in some aspect of my life. In effect, I have more motivation to get my Thesis done faster so that when Christmas comes around, I can go home for good
So why have I told you all this? Over the last few months, I have been throwing the idea back and forth about moving back home with my parents. Even though I'm only 5 hours away, I feel a million miles away. I had to "fight" to get time off and I had to give up time in order to be able to get paid for that time off. After being with my family, I've realized I am almost a stranger to them. I am hardly ever home in New York, and when I am, it's for such a short time, I don't get to see anyone. The fact that I saw my family at a funeral was saddening to me. I have never known something so well until this weekend. I need to be home and I am just thankful I went home Labor Day and was able to see my Uncle one last time. The only thing I would have here is Matt (who is planning on going to Miami) and many of my friends. I determined this weekend that family would NEVER be put after a guy, and that things between Matt and I will soon be over. As for my friends, I know that is what they will always be, and they will won't ever leave my mind.
It's hard to believe that something unexpected and highly emotional would create such clarity in some aspect of my life. In effect, I have more motivation to get my Thesis done faster so that when Christmas comes around, I can go home for good