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READ IF YOU WANNA IT REALLY MAKES YOU THINK I KNOW ITS LONG SO GET OVER IT AND READ ive realized that i may not be the best person outthere and may not be the best christain i can be and have a deep conversation with God everyday and every second liek some poeple and be passionate with everything that i say and do and i may be angyr , stupid, mean, a plain butthole , selfish, and act retarted and do somethings out of meaness but im ok with taht because i realized i have a reaally weird mind and i think im scared of it liek tonight at chruch i heard a ticking noise and i thought it was a bomb and i started to freak out but to myself cause i was in church and i was thinking why isnt everyone getting up and gettting out of the building and i was covniced that there was a bomb but i didnt want to be a distraction so i just stood there and sang but i was thinking friday night that i dont really long to have a deep passiontate relationship with christ at least not yet i would like to but i dont think im ready its kinda like dating a guy in the sence that you would like for him to ask you our but you sitll want to be friends and i know that wasnt a really good illustration but oh well and i want more knowledge about GOd and christ and the bible i think i have to be self assured and know things and thier place before they go in my life and i believe in God and i htink he's awesome and good things happen when im in his will and hes in my life but i want to grow in him and i think having a consistency with him like reading your bible and praynig is good for now and maybe later on ill have 8 hour singing to him and reading but i just cant seem to convicne myself that hes all i need i known it i just dont think i can believe it why would he give me a mind so complex and puzzled if hes so simple gah im blown away i tried to talk to some people but i feel liek i need more closure so comment if you wanna