this is officially the worst day of my entire life
basically i feel like the most horrible person in the world right now. today i've just let down person after person. i'm a terrible friend, i'm a terrible sister...i know you're all going to tell me i shouldn't feel that way but i'm sorry, right this minute i do. i finally was feeling like not the worst person in the world for all the crap that happened today and then my sister calls to tell me she's 5th in her graduating class and has to give a speech at honors night which (along with her graduation) falls during the week that i'm going to be in mexico. i cant believe i didnt think of this stuff when i applied for the trip. i felt horrible enough that i was missing her graduation and now i'm missing her speech too. i just feel like i've dissappointed a million people today and no matter what you say, that's the truth. i dont care if you think it wasnt completely my fault, the truth is i did dissappoint people and i feel terrible. i just cant believe i was finally feeling okay again and now all i want to do is cry again. how the hell am i supposed to do the 3 papers that are due next week if i cant even concentrate on anything? i'm just so glad we have a break this weekend...hopefully i wont be a complete drag to my family's celebrations and anytime i hang out with friends from home. hopefully i'll at least have fun with my cousins...or maybe on my birthday? i dunno..we'll see...i have a feeling it's gonna be a depressing one. sorry this is so depressing..i hope you didn't actually read it...i'm just in a bad mood...i know i sound really sad but don't worry, i'll be fine. i've been happy and cheerful almost every other day of my life so i guess i have to have a few horrible days mixed in right? yeah ok...well i'll be back on AIM on sunday...my lenten promise went well i guess...so yeah see you then.