I am a contradiction
I have had 2 friends get married recently, which leads me to the question...is it really worth it?
I would love to get married. The flowers, dress, being the center of attention for 2 days...BUT then what? You're stuck with that person for forever. That's it. No more first kiss, no more awkward first date, no more games. It just seems so complete. BUT that is because I look at marriage as being final and complete. People today, especially people my age, get married because it seems to be the thing to do outside of college. If they are lucky enough to land a fulltime job, they think 'woohoo! Now what?" so then they propose/accept to the person closest to them. They go into the marriage knowing they can get divorced if it doesn't work out. Marriage is nothing more than 'going out' anymore. The sanctity of it is gone. People used to rush into marriage so they could have the man/woman of their dreams and never have to worry about them leaving. That's not the case at all anymore. If the person decides they are bored, they just get out of the marriage either by cheating on their partner or just getting out in a poof of anger and hatred.
When I completely flip out everytime I find out someone else is getting married, it's not because I am weird or cynical. It's simply because I feel that I am the only person around all my friends who honestly sees what marriage is. It's not something to do when you're bored - like perming your hair, or coloring a picture. Marriage isn't meant to be taken lightly. You can't just grow it out and start over or erase it to start anew. It's honestly a huge step...
Which leads me to my next step...why?
Why would a person want to devote their lives to someone else? To be stuck with that person for forever, knowing there is no way out. Because they know that there is a way out - divorce.
I don't believe in God, which should actually make me ok with all of this, right? Marriage is simply an act done in the church to make a promise to each other in front of God. People today break those promises all the time. I should be ok with it, considering I won't be making a promise in front of God, should I get married one day.
I don't see why people can't just be in long term relationships instead of spending all the money on a ceremony. Marriages are basically just long term relationships, anyway.
Weddings today are like Christmas. Any emotional aspects or symbolism are completely sucked out only to be overtaken by commercialism and aesthetic values. Suddenly everything becomes so clean and white. Nothing has sentimental value. It seems that people have contests on who can have the bigger wedding, the most expensive dress, and the most elaborate floral arrangements. In the end, they are left with a gigantic credit card bill and a divorce to show for it. Pointless.
I seem to be rather contradictory, seeing as how I mentioned how I would like a husband, kids, etc. in a previous entry. I guess I am just hoping that I outgrow this stage where I see all marriages as failures. One day I will find a man who I feel is lucky enough to have me. He will understand me and know where I am coming from. Maybe this is the man all my married friends think they have found. From the outside, though, I know they should not have stopped at the age of 20 and settled for whoever happened to be standing in front of them.
For some reason, people cry at weddings. The only thing I can think of is that they realize this is it... I can't really see beyond that. I have a goal to not get married until I am atleast 25. There's too much finding out about myself and too much growing I have left...Plus, to have to shower with someone everyday? To never have your own bed again? To see that person every night? I don't think I could deal with it.
~M
p.s.-my new notebook computer should arrive tomorrow!!!
I would love to get married. The flowers, dress, being the center of attention for 2 days...BUT then what? You're stuck with that person for forever. That's it. No more first kiss, no more awkward first date, no more games. It just seems so complete. BUT that is because I look at marriage as being final and complete. People today, especially people my age, get married because it seems to be the thing to do outside of college. If they are lucky enough to land a fulltime job, they think 'woohoo! Now what?" so then they propose/accept to the person closest to them. They go into the marriage knowing they can get divorced if it doesn't work out. Marriage is nothing more than 'going out' anymore. The sanctity of it is gone. People used to rush into marriage so they could have the man/woman of their dreams and never have to worry about them leaving. That's not the case at all anymore. If the person decides they are bored, they just get out of the marriage either by cheating on their partner or just getting out in a poof of anger and hatred.
When I completely flip out everytime I find out someone else is getting married, it's not because I am weird or cynical. It's simply because I feel that I am the only person around all my friends who honestly sees what marriage is. It's not something to do when you're bored - like perming your hair, or coloring a picture. Marriage isn't meant to be taken lightly. You can't just grow it out and start over or erase it to start anew. It's honestly a huge step...
Which leads me to my next step...why?
Why would a person want to devote their lives to someone else? To be stuck with that person for forever, knowing there is no way out. Because they know that there is a way out - divorce.
I don't believe in God, which should actually make me ok with all of this, right? Marriage is simply an act done in the church to make a promise to each other in front of God. People today break those promises all the time. I should be ok with it, considering I won't be making a promise in front of God, should I get married one day.
I don't see why people can't just be in long term relationships instead of spending all the money on a ceremony. Marriages are basically just long term relationships, anyway.
Weddings today are like Christmas. Any emotional aspects or symbolism are completely sucked out only to be overtaken by commercialism and aesthetic values. Suddenly everything becomes so clean and white. Nothing has sentimental value. It seems that people have contests on who can have the bigger wedding, the most expensive dress, and the most elaborate floral arrangements. In the end, they are left with a gigantic credit card bill and a divorce to show for it. Pointless.
I seem to be rather contradictory, seeing as how I mentioned how I would like a husband, kids, etc. in a previous entry. I guess I am just hoping that I outgrow this stage where I see all marriages as failures. One day I will find a man who I feel is lucky enough to have me. He will understand me and know where I am coming from. Maybe this is the man all my married friends think they have found. From the outside, though, I know they should not have stopped at the age of 20 and settled for whoever happened to be standing in front of them.
For some reason, people cry at weddings. The only thing I can think of is that they realize this is it... I can't really see beyond that. I have a goal to not get married until I am atleast 25. There's too much finding out about myself and too much growing I have left...Plus, to have to shower with someone everyday? To never have your own bed again? To see that person every night? I don't think I could deal with it.
~M
p.s.-my new notebook computer should arrive tomorrow!!!