(no subject)
I need some sort of answers here...
Is it worth staying with someone who I only see once a week and who is so caught up in his job to talk on the phone for longer than 5 minutes a day? He keeps reassuring me that everything is ok and not to worry...
Tuesday he told me that 'maybe' we could hang out tonight (Thursday) but he didn't know about his work schedule (He's a sports photographer). So I am getting all excited because I haven't seen him since last Thursday. Then, he calls last night and informs me that he does indeed have to work today, and he thinks he is gonna volunteer to photograph the Nationals baseball game tonight because he has never before photographed Barry Bonds.
I understand that his career is very important. We have been together for three months, though, and I just realized that I am still playing the games with him. Ex.- 'I called him yesterday, so I am gonna make him call me today', 'tonight I am going to cut our phone conversation short and make him want to talk more.' It's all so lame.
We broke up a few weeks ago, but got back together a week later because he apparently missed me and wanted to be with me. I made it WAY too easy for him to get back with me. I asked him a few questions to make him think if he really wanted to, and then I was just like 'ok.' I should have said something like, "I need you to make sure this is what you want and have time for." I guess I did in a round-about way, but I didn't just up and leave to let him think about if he really wanted to be with me.
When we are in public, he is amazing, always touching me, holding me, kissing me. It's just when we go a week or so without seeing each other, I start to lose faith. I trust that he cares about me a lot, but I am the kind of person who looks at every guy I date as a possible future husband. I think he is the kind of person who looks at every girl he dates like someone to keep him occupied until he has to move to another state for his job.
Then again, the guys here in Washington D.C., and up north in general are very self centered and career oriented. They have girlfriends, but they are the kind of relationships where back home in Kentucky they would just be considered 'dating'. Where I come from, the first few months are supposed to be when a couple is obsessed with each other.
He keeps telling me that he is just really busy with football photography, which I understand...
He also tells me that when I walk in and see him and give him a kiss and smile, things are great for him. BUT if I seem upset at something, he gets weirded out and freezes up. That's great, and most of the time I can walk in and act like I am the happiest I have ever been. BUT it makes me wonder if my questions and concerns in my relationsip with him are really worth it if he doesn't want to deal with me when I am upset.
I guess I just need to get over it and realize that if I want to be with him I have to give more than I am receiving right now. Maybe in the future this will change and I will get it all in return. It's not that I mind giving him everything, I just want to put my guard up to protect myself from getting hurt when we decide to break up again.
I want a family, a husband, 4 kids, a house and a dog. All in a large suburban neighborhood. I want my kids to be involved in soccer and ballet. I want to help them with their homework and answer their questions when they are scared. I want to go to sleep every night in my husband's arms, feeling like nothing will ever hurt me, and I want him to feel the same way. I want to find my other half.
I don't want to be with someone who can not offer any reassurance of the future (even if it is 5 years down the road, whatever, I would at least like to know that he eventually wants to get married one day). I want to be with someone who is ok with me moving with him or changing my life for him if he gets a fabulous new assignment. I don't want someone who thinks all things should end because it will involve a little bit of work to stay together.
I guess this answers all my questions. Now I have to learn to be brave enough to stand up for myself and let him know what I want.
~M
Is it worth staying with someone who I only see once a week and who is so caught up in his job to talk on the phone for longer than 5 minutes a day? He keeps reassuring me that everything is ok and not to worry...
Tuesday he told me that 'maybe' we could hang out tonight (Thursday) but he didn't know about his work schedule (He's a sports photographer). So I am getting all excited because I haven't seen him since last Thursday. Then, he calls last night and informs me that he does indeed have to work today, and he thinks he is gonna volunteer to photograph the Nationals baseball game tonight because he has never before photographed Barry Bonds.
I understand that his career is very important. We have been together for three months, though, and I just realized that I am still playing the games with him. Ex.- 'I called him yesterday, so I am gonna make him call me today', 'tonight I am going to cut our phone conversation short and make him want to talk more.' It's all so lame.
We broke up a few weeks ago, but got back together a week later because he apparently missed me and wanted to be with me. I made it WAY too easy for him to get back with me. I asked him a few questions to make him think if he really wanted to, and then I was just like 'ok.' I should have said something like, "I need you to make sure this is what you want and have time for." I guess I did in a round-about way, but I didn't just up and leave to let him think about if he really wanted to be with me.
When we are in public, he is amazing, always touching me, holding me, kissing me. It's just when we go a week or so without seeing each other, I start to lose faith. I trust that he cares about me a lot, but I am the kind of person who looks at every guy I date as a possible future husband. I think he is the kind of person who looks at every girl he dates like someone to keep him occupied until he has to move to another state for his job.
Then again, the guys here in Washington D.C., and up north in general are very self centered and career oriented. They have girlfriends, but they are the kind of relationships where back home in Kentucky they would just be considered 'dating'. Where I come from, the first few months are supposed to be when a couple is obsessed with each other.
He keeps telling me that he is just really busy with football photography, which I understand...
He also tells me that when I walk in and see him and give him a kiss and smile, things are great for him. BUT if I seem upset at something, he gets weirded out and freezes up. That's great, and most of the time I can walk in and act like I am the happiest I have ever been. BUT it makes me wonder if my questions and concerns in my relationsip with him are really worth it if he doesn't want to deal with me when I am upset.
I guess I just need to get over it and realize that if I want to be with him I have to give more than I am receiving right now. Maybe in the future this will change and I will get it all in return. It's not that I mind giving him everything, I just want to put my guard up to protect myself from getting hurt when we decide to break up again.
I want a family, a husband, 4 kids, a house and a dog. All in a large suburban neighborhood. I want my kids to be involved in soccer and ballet. I want to help them with their homework and answer their questions when they are scared. I want to go to sleep every night in my husband's arms, feeling like nothing will ever hurt me, and I want him to feel the same way. I want to find my other half.
I don't want to be with someone who can not offer any reassurance of the future (even if it is 5 years down the road, whatever, I would at least like to know that he eventually wants to get married one day). I want to be with someone who is ok with me moving with him or changing my life for him if he gets a fabulous new assignment. I don't want someone who thinks all things should end because it will involve a little bit of work to stay together.
I guess this answers all my questions. Now I have to learn to be brave enough to stand up for myself and let him know what I want.
~M