Posting from the bus to Boston...hopefully the lady sitting next to me doesn't get too curious. :P Random note is random: The Tool song "Forty Six and Two" is about chromosomes, word. Why isn't there a Doom vid to this song?
Anyway, point of the post! Posting teh pr0n at 7 AM. Whooo! *is punch drunk*
Title: Got It Bad
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Kirk/McCoy
Word Count: 3,415
Warnings: competence kink, quasi-public sex
Summary: Jim starts to realize two things: Bones is a goddamn genius, and it's kind of turning Jim on.
Author's Note: HAPPY BIRTHDAY,
sangueuk! I HOPE YOU LIKE PORN! (LOL - who am I kidding? It's like the gift that keeps on giving.) XP Also thanks to the fantabulous
abigail89 for the beta job. :)
+++
"Apparently," Bones starts, placing his tray down on the table as he slides into the seat across from Jim, "Starfleet doesn't think I have enough to do. I received a message claiming to be a reminder that all graduate students need to TA at least one course as per academy regulations."
Jim, having been a teaching assistant on top of his heavier class load and the various clubs he's in, doesn't really see the problem. "So you go sit in a class a couple times a week and deal with panicky students right before exams. It won't be too bad. Hey, just think of the peace and quiet you'll get during most of the office hours!" He tries not to smile too obnoxiously at the way Bones' expression seems to say huh, I didn't think of it that way.
"Always have to be shifting the paradigm, don't you, Jim?" Bones asks with a wry smile on his face.
"Just gotta twist your worldview to your advantage, Bones," Jim agrees, starting to sneak some of Bones' french fries as Bones takes a bite of his sandwich. His friend seems to be in a benevolent mood, not smacking the hand away. "What's the course, anyway?"
+
It's Advanced Comparative Humanoid Anatomy and Physiology, a requirement for pre-med and nursing students, an elective for xenobiologists, and spoken about like it's the Black Plague by everyone else. Jim had taken the introductory version of the class his first-year, which isn't a command track requirement, but Jim had thought it would come in handy to know the weak spots of other species should he ever get into a fight with any of them. Terrans don't stand much of a chance physically against a lot of the other humanoids out there, and Jim wanted all the advantage he could get. He doesn't exactly plan on going one-on-one against a Klingon, but Jim likes to think he could hold his own against one a little better now.
He has two reasons for registering for the advanced course, neither of which he tells Bones when his friend gives him the hairy eyeball when Jim sits next to him, the right corner of the front row. "How else am I supposed to know what species I'm sexually compatible with?"
Bones pinches the bridge of his nose. "I have faith that Jim Kirk would be able to find a way." He lowers the hand, alternating between flipping through screens on his PADD and staring incredulously at Jim. "I'd have thought you already knew that one of the requirements for a species to be listed as humanoid is compatible reproductive organs."
"Compatible doesn't mean they're in the same place, though. I think it would be a deal breaker if I went looking for some hot alien chick's lady parts between her legs only to discover it's really her…belly button or something."
"My god, Jim, I'm a doctor. If I hear you use the term 'lady parts' again, I'll-"
Bones' threat is cut off when Commander Gaudet enters the lecture hall. Which is too bad because Jim really wanted to know what Bones was going to say and had a great comeback on-deck, ready to swing.
+
The first reason Jim's taking the course is to be helpful on any future away missions.
Sure there's the fighting thing, but that is something he's already learned. This time it's for damage control. If Jim has injured civilians or crewmembers, he wants to be able to help them hang on until help arrives. He knows anyone hit by poisoned darts, for example, needs to keep the spot the dart hit below the victim's heart. The position to keep them in, therefore, will be different for a Terran than it would a Vulcan, and for all Jim knows, there could be a species whose heart is higher in their chest or even in their left knee or something.
+
"Bones!" Jim calls in a stage whisper as he enters the lecture hall, oddly not early like he usually is. Jim has saved Bones a seat, which is a little redundant since this far into the semester everyone has gotten used to their own seat and isn't going to take someone else's. But that doesn't make Jim think he's any less of an awesome friend for making sure no one takes Bones'.
But Bones isn't coming over to sit with him; instead he's going to the front of the room, ordering the computer to pull up a diagram of the Cardassian endocrine system. "Commander Gaudet is attending a conference on Vulcan for the next two weeks; I'll be running the lectures in her absence."
Jim thinks he should be snickering and trying to make faces at Bones whenever he catches his friend's eye, but he starts to think maybe Bones had injected him with something earlier in the day without Jim noticing because he finds that he's paying complete attention, hanging on to every word coming out of Bones' mouth. He's not the best lecturer that Jim's ever heard, but his subtle accent makes him nice to listen to, and unlike Commander Gaudet who discusses the anatomy and physiology as memorized facts, Bones seems to have had practical experience with every cell, tissue, or organ he talks about, actually engaging the other students' interest with examples on why knowing all this is important.
Jim can't help but notice that not once does Bones glance at the computer screen like he's looking for notes or an idea on where to go next. Everything he's talking about he actually knows, and Jim starts to realize two things: Bones is a goddamn genius, and it's kind of turning Jim on.
+
The second reason Jim's taking the course is Bones.
At first Jim had thought it would be a fun way to annoy his friend by showing up at office hours and asking inane questions, but, after the last few lectures where Bones had been the one running the class, Jim's come to the realization that it is something deeper than that.
Somewhere along the line, Jim Kirk's fallen for his best friend. His cranky, bitter, divorced best friend with the prickly exterior but is a goddamn amazing doctor with a heart of gold who thinks Jim has the potential to do great things because he's Jim, not because he's his father's son.
Bones, Jim thinks, is possibly the best person he's ever met in his life.
He plans on visiting Bones during his office hours tomorrow, and Jim knows that whatever happens is either going to be the best or worst thing ever.
+
Bones raises an eyebrow but doesn't say anything when Jim steps into his office and sits across the desk from him. Jim's starting to feel like this is all a very bad idea. He would prefer neutral territory…and alcohol. Lots and lots of alcohol. But Commander Gaudet is back in front of the class tomorrow and Jim's had two weeks of getting horny in class all because of Bones being all smart and sexy and shit. Very bad idea, yes, but Jim's not sure he can take it for much longer, this sexual tension with his best friend that he thinks has been there for longer than Jim's been willing to acknowledge.
Jim has no idea how long he's been sitting there trying to psych himself up into saying something when Bones speaks. "You don't have to be embarrassed, Jim."
"I don't?" he replies, trying to ignore the way his voice squeaks and how hopeful he sounds.
But because life isn't a movie or a porno (well, most of the time, anyway), Bones doesn't dive into about how he knows Jim's been lusting after him and that Bones wants Jim, too. "It isn't supposed to be an easy course; I'd like to think that if you needed help you'd at least be able to come to me."
Jim feels himself deflate. So not what he'd been hoping for. "That's really not what I'm here for…" he starts trying to explain, but Bones interrupts him.
"The differences in humanoid blood chemistries are difficult for the cadets who have taken biochem, Jim. I know you're a certified genius and all, but I doubt you know anything about a subject you've never read up on before."
Bones starts to go in on the chemical composition of Andorian blood and what makes it blue, which seems to be the last straw for Jim. He throws himself over the desk, grabs the front of Bones' jacket with both his hands, and pulls Bones forward until Jim can slide their lips together. It's a simple kiss, really, with their mouths just pressed together, and for all Jim knows, Bones is opening his mouth to protest, but Jim's always been one to take an opportunity. He licks the inside of Bones' bottom lip, and the resulting groan is all the encouragement Jim needs. Jim somehow manages to get himself in a sitting position on the desk, both his legs on either side of Bones', without breaking the kiss, and it's not until he feels Bones' hands on his thighs that Jim pulls away.
"Not that I'm complaining, Jim," Bones starts, his voice rough and accent more pronounced, "but what the hell brought this on?"
"Fuck, Bones," Jim leans forward to steal another kiss, but this time, instead of being able to lean back, Bones has his hand on the back of Jim's neck, keeping their foreheads pressed together as their breaths mingle in the scant space between their mouths. "I always knew you were hot, but I didn't fully appreciate until recently what a big, sexy brain you have."
He can feel the eyebrow raise more than see it when Bones chuckles low in his throat. "You're not so bad yourself, Jim."
Jim's been hyper-aware of Bones' hands still on his thighs like they're burning through his pants and straight to his skin, but then Bones starts fucking massaging the muscle, moving to the inside of his legs, and Jim can't help but groan from Bones' actions. Jim's so painfully hard that he feels like he needs to make a disclaimer about how he's no longer responsible for anything that might come out of his mouth. "Bones…" he moans, placing a teasing kiss on Bones' lips before mouthing a trail to his ear, noting how Bones shudders when he licks and sucks at the spot just under it. "Bones, I want to blow you."
"Goddamn it, Jim," Bones responds, but he doesn't sound pissed - just incredibly turned on. "Has anyone been able to say no to that?"
"A lady doesn't kiss and tell," Jim says, batting his eyelashes coyly, which earns a snort from Bones. He slides off the desk and down to his knees between Bones' legs, undoing the button and zipper on Bones' pants, pushing his boxers aside to draw out his cock, which feels just as hard as Jim's. He palms himself through his pants, looking up to see that Bones' gaze is fixed on him as he orders the computer to lock the door. Jim forms a ring with his thumb and forefinger, sliding it slowly down the length of Bones' cock and smiles at the way Bones' hips jerk in response along with his frustrated grunt. "So what were you saying about blood composition?"
"You're kidding, right?" Bones asks, and Jim's response is to keep sliding his fingers up and down, nowhere near enough friction to do more than make Bones impatient. "Should've figured you'd be a cock tease," he huffs before obliging. "The presence of copper-carrying hemocyanins in Andorian blood instead of iron-carrying hemoglobins as seen in most humanoids, including humans, means Andorian blood cells are less efficient at transporting oxygen and also accounts for the blue coloration."
Jim's left hand is down his pants, stroking himself as he continues to tease Bones. "Don't stop," he says with a grin before leaning forward, running his tongue along the underside of Bones' cock before drawing the tip into his mouth, bobbing his head and sucking in a way that strangles Bones' speech and has Bones' hands fisting into his uniform and then his hair.
"The fact that Andoria's an ice world - shit, Jim, that feels good - means there's a higher volume of oxygen, so less efficient transport isn't an issue unless the Andorians are somewhere temperate or tropical." The last syllable gets drawn out when Jim swirls his tongue around the slit, his cheeks hollowing as he sucks with just the head of Bones' cock in his mouth.
Jim knows he himself isn't going to last long, and doubts he would even if he wasn't jerking himself off. But the last two weeks of increasing sexual frustration combined with the taste and feel of Bones' cock in his mouth and that voice filling his ears as Bones groans out how Vulcans can live on a planet with a lower volume of oxygen despite also having hemocyanin in their blood because of more efficient lung volume exchange is possibly one of the hottest things Jim has ever heard.
"Humans only exchange fifteen percent of the air in each breath we take." Jim can feel Bones' leg muscles tensing on either side of him. "Fuck, Jim, I'm gonna…"
Jim takes Bones' cock as deep into his throat as he can manage at this angle, swallowing as Bones comes in his mouth, and he can feel some dribbling out of the corner of his mouth, but Jim doesn't care because his eyes are glued to Bones' face the whole time, watching it contort with pleasure and then relax, and it's not long before Jim's coming himself into his own hand, letting Bones' cock slip from his mouth when Jim shouts out his own release.
"I can't wait to study for this final," Jim says when he finally catches his breath.
Bones kisses him until Jim doesn't taste like come anymore, so Jim figures he can't be freaking out that much. The most awkward part about leaving is walking back to his dorm room in messy pants, and Jim's in too good of a mood to care.
+
Jim sees Bones sitting alone by the windows of the mess hall. It's been three days, and while Jim hasn't been actively avoiding Bones as they'd had Advanced Comp. A&P the next day, and with Commander Gaudet back it meant Bones has returned to his usual seat next to Jim, Jim's also been trying to give Bones some space.
He hadn't even planned on giving Bones space until Jim saw how flushed the back of Bones' neck became when Commander Gaudet rhetorically asked if everyone had enjoyed Dr. McCoy's lectures. Jim had also felt the tips of his own ears turn red and couldn't make eye contact with the commander for fear of it spreading to the rest of his face.
So Jim sits across from Bones with their sandwiches standing guard between them, wondering how exactly to go about The Talk when Jim normally just sneaks out in the middle of the night since no one's held his interest enough to make Jim want to stick around, but Jim's already made the decision that he wanted to hang onto Bones, decided right there on that shuttle flight out of Riverside. "Listen, Bones," he starts, thinking it's weak but at least he's talking, "about the other day…"
Bones levels his eyes with Jim's, raising a hand in a gesture to cut him off. "I'm going to stop you right now, Jim, before you give me the speech that you give all of your single-serve partners."
"What speech would that be?" Jim asks, leaning back in his seat.
Bones rolls his eyes in response. "You know damn well what I'm talking about. I'm not looking for anything serious or I just wanted to have some fun, blow off some steam or maybe you were going to go with my personal favorite it was just sex; didn't mean anything else."
Jim can't help but wince as he recognizes the words, not exactly how he gives them, but Bones has broken them down to their most direct. "You think I'm that much of an asshole?"
"I know that you aren't, Jim; you tell everyone up front what you want and it's their fault if they expect more. But I'm not some random pickup, Jim, I'm your friend, so just…don't give me the speech."
They eat lunch in silence, Jim feeling uncomfortable now with how things are between them. He puts his sandwich down, knowing he needs a different approach. "I wasn't going to give you a speech, Bones."
"Jim…" Bones sighs, and he sounds tired.
"No, just…just listen, Bones." Jim glances around, glad that the mess is mostly empty since it's a little late for lunch. He doesn't need the entire academy witnessing this moment and not because he's embarrassed but because, for once in his life, he's scared. "I wasn't going to give you a speech because for the first time I didn't want to. You're one of the few good things that's ever happened to me, Bones. You're my best friend, and I think we could have something really good together if you give me a chance." Jim kind of wishes he could take a picture right now since he never thought he'd see the moment when Bones has been stunned speechless, but he's staring at Jim with part awe and part I think I need to have your brain scanned for damage. "Bones? Say something."
"You're an idiot, Jim," Bones finally says, leaning across the table, and Jim's melting into the kiss, only remembering where they are when someone wolf whistles, causing Bones to pull back but not completely away.
Jim's smiling, and he sees that Bones is, too; Jim reaches his hand up to trace the corners of Bones' mouth, the side of his face. "I was wondering if you'd even been born with these muscles."
Bones smacks Jim's hand away, but he quickly kisses Jim before lowering himself back into his seat, picking up the drink Jim hadn't noticed Bones had knocked over when he leaned across the table. "I don't have a hospital shift tonight if you wanted to come over."
Jim really can't help the shit-eating grin. "Are you going to buy me dinner first?"
Bones is pointing a pickle spear at him. "I swear to god, Jim, if you say anything about not putting out on the first date…"
"Just think you're going to need the energy if you hope to keep up, old man."
The wicked glint in Bones' eyes has Jim visibly shuddering.
+
For the record, Jim's the one who has to keep up, which he's perfectly fine with. He may have the slightly shorter relapse time, but Bones has this impressive amount of patience and control that has Jim practically crowing in triumph when Bones falls apart.
Jim doesn't finish the semester with the top mark in Advanced Comparative Humanoid Anatomy and Physiology, but he is in the top ten, and Jim bets that he had the most fun during study sessions.
The last day Bones has access to the office is by far the most memorable as he fucks Jim over the desk, and Jim didn't even have to talk him into it. Kinky bastard.
"I knew I kept you around for a reason," Jim pants, which gets his ass slapped, but then Bones leans over him, pressing his chest to Jim's back, the change in angle hitting his prostate with each stroke as Bones kisses the juncture of Jim's neck and shoulder, grazing his teeth along Jim's skin.
"Come for me, sweetheart," he moans, accent honey-thick, his voice rumbling deep in his chest, and Jim obliges, his orgasm hitting hard and completely incredible considering that neither him nor Bones had so much as touched Jim's cock. "Holy shit, Jim," Bones says, probably realizing what Jim just had as he thrusts twice more than stills, Jim's name slipping from Bones' lips reverently as Jim feels him come deep inside him.
"I think you need to write the academy a thank you letter," Jim says, still lying on the desk with the edge of it poking sharply into his stomach, but he's not sure he could move his muscles at the moment if he tried.
"For what?"
"The TA requirement."
Bones grunts in agreement, causing Jim to smile lazily.