And he takes and he takes, Chapter Three
Title: And He takes and He takes, Chapter Three
Fandom: iCarly
Paring/Characters: Sam, Sam/Freddie
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1,343
Disclaimer: I don’t own iCarly
Summary: Sam's chest ached at the thought of what she was doing to her friends. This hurt worse than anything she would have to suffer through in the next few years.
A/N: This is a tragedy!fic.
When Carly got there her eyes were puffy and red, she'd obviously been crying but Sam had expected that. Carly hugged her and cried because that was probably all she could do. She'd start trying to talk and burst into sobs again. Sam hugged her and patted her on the back.
Spencer stayed in the kitchen talking to her mother. She'd seen him when they came in and it looked like he'd been crying too but he seemed to be able to hold it together unlike his younger sister. She wished that she knew what they were talking about. She hated it when anyone talked to her mother when she wasn't around.
They were there for an hour before Carly stopped crying and she let go of Sam, it was mostly because she had to go pee. Carly was never very good at holding it so she got up and left Sam alone in her living room. Sam's mother popped her head out of the kitchen with a questioning look and Sam mouthed 'bathroom' to her. She nodded and went back into the kitchen.
Sam was tired of seeing Carly cry, she wished that no one around her would ever have to cry again. "It could be worse," she thought "I could be dying of AIDS. At least what I have is curable." No one else would look at it that way. Every silver lining had a cloud.
Freddie chose that moment to arrive. He'd not waited for someone to come to the door he simply barged in loaded down with a large tote bag. He startled Sam because it took him years to start simply letting himself into Carly's apartment. It took him six visits to start barging into her house. Before Sam could even react he started talking quickly without pausing to breath.
"I would have come sooner but I told my mother and she started crying which was weird because she never really seemed to like you I think it was because you always pick on me but that's just you and I would always tell her that anyway she made me go home and she made a casserole I don't know what kind but it smelled good when she was cooking it I also brought you some stuff." He paused to take a breath so that he could continue but Sam interrupted him.
"Have you ever heard of knocking, Benson?" she asked. It took all of ten seconds for Freddie to drop the bag that he was holding and attack Sam with a hug that would have knocked her over if she weren’t already sitting. He was crying too.
Sam sat there stiff as a board. She'd seen Carly cry plenty of times, over boys, over grade, over everything. Freddie never cried. Not when she spilled his 'I've-Never-Been-Kissed' secret, or when Carly turned him down, not even when he got hit by a truck. She'd assumed that nothing could make him cry because, like her, he'd cried all his tears when his father left.
Freddie mumbled "sorry" through his sobs but she stayed there hugging her. Everyone thought that's what she wanted to be hugged and cried over but she would have rather been brought a container full of meatballs and they could talk about people that they hated or liked or thought were weird. Carly came out of the bathroom and saw Freddie crying which caused her to break out in sobs. She joined in the one-sidded hug and the two of them awkwardly engulfed Sam.
"I, uh, thought you brought me something." Sam managed to get out between the sounds of their sobs. It seemed like the only logical way to get out of the tears that they would soon be drowning her in. Freddie let go of her reluctantly and walked back over to his bag. The belongings were jumbled but nothing was broken. He set the casserole on the table near their couch and walked back over to the two girls.
Carly had let go of Sam and had settled in a kneeling position next to the chair where she could grab Sam if she needed to. She let out soft, sad whimpers every now and then. Sam's chest ached at the thought of what she was doing to her friends. This hurt worse than anything she would have to suffer through in the next few years. Freddie coughed quietly drawing her attention back. He pulled out a small, black moleskin journal and handed it to Sam shyly, like he was embarrassed by it. She opened it up and flipped through it pages were filled with pictures of them and things they had celebrated together. It was as if the last five years of their time together had been compiled into one small book. She took a breath suddenly not realizing that she'd stopped breathing for a second.
"I've been making it for myself for a while now." Freddie said as he dug through the bag trying not to make eye contact with Sam. " I just thought that you should have it. To make you feel happier when you're feeling sad." He paused and glanced quickly at her. She was on the verge of tears, not sad tears though, and she’d never expected to be given a gift like this, especially not by Freddie Benson.
“I also have some books for your mom.” He said, “ I don’t know if she actually reads but my mom wanted me to bring them.” He pulled out book after book and stacked them up. She read the spines: Coping with Cancer, The Human Side of Cancer, Facing Cancer, Facing Cancer Together. They all contained the word that she dare not even whisper and she hated all of them. She wished that she could tear them up or burn them or yell at him for bringing them into her house.
“Carls.” Spencer called from the kitchen, “I need you.”
“Why?” Carly responded. She didn’t even flinch when her name was called and she had no intention of moving unless it was absolutely necessary. Sam wondered if she would stay there over night clutched onto her.
“I just need you okay?” Spencer sounded urgent and Carly sighed a heavy, deep sigh that said ‘I wish you’d just leave me alone’ but of course Spencer was too far away to hear it. She debated on if she should go or not, Sam could see her internal conflict.
“I’ll be here when you get back.” She said. She almost added ‘it’s not like I’m going to die by then’ but realized that Carly would probably start sobbing again and she had just stopped that. Carly nodded, got up slowly and made her way into the kitchen. Freddie had begun digging through the bag again and Sam lightly kicked him. He jerked his head up quick enough to give himself whiplash.
“Thank you.” She said quietly, she knew that ‘thank you’ didn’t accurately depict how thankful she actually was, but it had to do for now.
Instead of responding he went back to the bag. A small smile brushed across his lips before he finally found what he was looking for. He pulled out a small, yellow flower.
“It’s supposed to be good luck.” He said holding it out to her. She’d seen it before in graveyards and growing on the sides of the highway. “You give it to people when they are going on new but, uh, risky journeys. And that reminded me of you.” She took the small flower from him. It was nothing special, a simple gesture, but in that moment she knew why she had always taken it easy on him.
If it had been any other boy, any boy that she didn’t have all that history with, any boy who she’d not known as intimately as they had known each other she would have kissed him. But she couldn’t because he was Freddie and she was Sam and she may have cancer but that didn’t change anything.