oh my god, I FINALLY FINISHED THIS AND IT WAS GLORIOUS. GAH-LOOOOOR-EE-US. i don't even know where TO BEGIN.
1. i never thought i'd need to read a pot!fic until i saw this. now i gots the munchies for it, if you can excuse the cheesy allusion 2. you totally hit on kinks i didn't even realize i had-- well, forgot i had, lol. shotgunning and stoned!sex laskjdfsadflkfd YES. 3. i really loved how you made every scene count. i loved all of it-- especially the ND scene! another scene that really struck me was between Marita and Blainers and Kurtsie-- how Kurt is thinking to himself, "you look more white," and then it ALL comes back again to the end when it's Blainers is all about presentation. i actually would have loved a greater extension/headcanon for that scene; it left me aching for more interactions with blainers and his family. i never thought about it, but blainers does "pass" for white in a way that darren doesn't... and it's giving me a new way to think about blainers do than just a desire to be a charming, dapper crooner reminiscent of an era gone by. 4. seriously, i can't believe i now am looking at canon!blainers and kurtsie in a different way. it's one thing to look at fanon!blainers and kurtsie in a new light, but i think you really nailed something on the head with this fic. they both harbor some serious control issues, and i mean that in the kindest way possible. by using a substance that is very much about losing control and depicting how they slowly lost their inhibitions-- oh man, i was going to go all Renegade English Major on you, but i'm just going to squee instead. SQUEE. seriously, kudos on the symbolism cause i loves that shit like NONE other 5. i'm sure i speak on behalf of a lot of people that part of the reason why it was so enjoyable was the nostalgic feelings depicted through the clearly detailed experiences. 6. i loved that blaine could tell that kurt was nervous about smoking in front of his friends and texted him. i actually felt my heart swell alongside kurt's. 7. i personally DEEPLY identified with kurt this entire fic-- i have weird performance anxiety about everything and smoking was definitely one of those things that i felt a similar anxiety about. it's a really just another social situation where there are unspoken rules and you don't want to fuck up and you managed to capture that very well, so kudos! 8. is it bad that i was kind of hoping that the huge high that they were going to get was off of space cakes? XD
i'm kind of sad that i know that some people will be turned off by this fic. i was really fucking excited when i saw this, but, i won't lie, i didn't really expect much of it even though i love your fic. i promise you that it had everything to do with the premise and nothing to do with your writing. i was just like, "oh god, this is going to be so very OOC and not make any sense and i will have to suspend all disbelief to make this work in my brain but whatevs, POTFIC YEYYY~" i think it's normal with this kind of fic that is so much outside the realm of what we anticipate for this character, but it's really too bad.
i guess what's really disappointing is that it's seriously more than the drug use. (sort of like how their relationship is more than that and look at me, drawing all these parallels.) like, as i was reading it and getting more into it, i was just thinking to myself, "honestly, pot is really just a vehicle in which both the reader and klaine can obtain a better understanding of their relationship, inner psychology, and how they approach the world around them." this is of course punctuated with squees and, "OMG ARE THEY OMG YES!" but, y'know ;)
but fo real tho, i honestly haven't seen such a reverberating take on blaine and kurt in a long while (and i'm on an unemployed gap year so i just read fic all day when i'm not writing for my internships, so like, i mean this completely and utterly), so this was truly a treat. thank you! (and apologizes for the long and winding comment!)
omg long comment was really long and i actually had to remove some of my comment in order to make it fit and omg don't be afraid of my scary long comment i just have so many feelings
haha, i had to laugh at your apologizing for leaving a long comment to Emiliana, because she is soooo used to the long babbling comments that go on forever. they happen quite a bit. i definitely have left multi-comment box comments before. and she's amazing in ther thoughtful long responses back, so don't be sorry. be grateful that we have such an incredible author who makes us feel so much for here writing that we can't contain it in a small,"oh my god, that was fantastic" comment.
Heeheee, you know me too well, darlin'! *just finished posting a long response back* XD
Seriously, though, thank you! It always means so very much to me when you guys take the time to respond with such amazing, insightful, and thoughtful responses. As much as I love "omg yay!" comments, there's nothing quite like epic comments. <3 Thank you to everyone!!
(I'm just going to put the second half of my response here, hon!)
7.) it's a really just another social situation where there are unspoken rules and you don't want to fuck up <--- TRUER WORDS HAVE NEVER BEEN SPOKEN. Seriously, I'm so happy you were able to identify with Kurt on this aspect, because that was probably the most stressful thing about my own first time trying pot for sure. "Oh my god, I'm going to fuck up and they'll laugh at me." It was a good thing Kurt tried it for the first time in a safe environment!
8.) Not at all, darlin'. Not at all. <3
Oh, don't be sad, sweetie. *hugs* Although I'm very flattered and my heart is warmed that it makes you feel bad that some people might not want to read this for what is probably the wrong reasons. I knew that was going to happen with "Body", and I knew it was going to happen this time as well. (Apparently, I simply cannot write universally-appealing fic with no problematic elements. IT IS NOT IN MY BLOOD I TELL YOU! XD) I knew as soon as I got the idea for the fic that not everyone was going to be interested, and that's okay. It just makes the people who did read and enjoy even more special. <3 *hugs you*
Although I do find it so funny that people inherently seem to assume that Kurt and Blaine would have to be massively out of character for this to work! That makes me laugh! I would never have written something if I thought the only way to make it work was to have all the characters OOC, just like I would never have written this if I saw it as something the boys would never ever ever do. I suppose it helps that I live in a place where everyone and their mothers smokes/has smoked weed, so I have tonnes of extremely straight-laced and stiff-backed friends who smoke -- so it wasn't a huge leap for my brain at all. But I'm happy it got you excited nonetheless!!
But I completely understand the tiny bit of frustration that some people who would probably actually enjoy the introspection quite a bit aren't bothering because they think it's going to be silly. It's how I felt when I was posting "Howl" and "Body", too. "It's werewolf/rape fic, but it's MORE than that, I SWEAR!" XD I like to use strange scenarios as a way of exploring the characters we know and love, but I always know that will turn some people off. I guess we'll just have to hope that it gets recced at the weekly rec post and some people who wouldn't have bothered will give it a try. :)
pot is really just a vehicle in which both the reader and klaine can obtain a better understanding of their relationship, inner psychology, and how they approach the world around them <--- I love you forever and for all time, YES!!!
Oh my gosh, seriously, thank you -- more than anything for letting me know that this fic had such an impact on your view of the characters in such a way. Honestly, that just makes all the difference in the world to me, and makes me feel so accomplished and happy and delighted. A "reverberating take" oh my lord, thank you. <3 You are just a delight and a wonder, and I'm SO happy for this incredible comment!!! Thank you forever, because you made me feel so very vindicated in writing such a big fic about this topic. Seriously, your feedback made my LIFE bb!!!!!!!! <3 <3 <3
oh my god, HI THERE. this comment is about 320948230 weeks old-- every time i sat down to respond, i was like, "oh god, what do i say?" then i avoided it and alskfjksjldaf I FELT SO GUILTY SO THE CYCLE OF GUILT CONTINUED. AND IT IS CONTINUING STILL BUT I AM WORKING THROUGH IT.
asdfkjaksdf i have so much to say but not enough so i just wanted to say thank YOU for such an amazing response in return (i usually leave like, super long responses and then get like, really short responses back and that's cool, but i always get blown away when people take the time to give me an equally thorough response in return) and laksdjfaljkdf I'M GLAD THAT MY HAPPINESS MADE YOU HAPPY BECAUSE THAT'S ALL THAT I EVER WANTED YAY
oh god this comment is so bad. i should have like, left it as is. oh god. oh well. i loved this fic, though, and i definitely think about it every once in awhile, AND THAT IS JUST STRANGE FOR ME SINCE I READ SO MUCH FIC OH LORD. anyway! i love you and everything you write and choose to beeeee *hugs and squishes to make up for the fact that this response is a month late yay -_-!*
*takes a deep breath* THIS IS THE BEST COMMENT IN THE HISTORY OF EVER AND I LOVE FOR FOREVER AND FOR ALL TIME OH MY GODDDDDD!! :D :D :D I will try my very best to respond to it, bb!! First of all, I'm SO happy that you enjoyed this! We're going to try to do this with numbered points:
1.) I'm so honoured that you enjoyed this so much even though it's not something you would ordinarily seek out. <3 I think that almost any subject can be tackled effectively and made worthwhile in fic as long as it's written with care, attention to characterization, and introspection.
2.) Ahahaha, ohhhhh pot kinks. <3 I'd say I'm sorry for revitalizing old kinks, darlin', but I think we both know that they're sexy and delicious enough to warrant some lovin'.
3.) Thank you very much!! I really do believe that there should be a purpose in every scene; when there is no purpose, that's when it becomes filler. And YAY about the ND scene! I had a hard time starting that scene, strangely, although once I began it flowed very easily -- so I'm happy it worked out!
And thank you, thank you, thank you about the hair gel scene. I... yeah, I've been wanting to write that scene for a very long time, actually. It just... I feel it makes so much sense for his character, you know? I always have. The way he presents himself, and puts on a show -- and I really wanted to weave that aspect right into Blaine's character in a fic that had nothing to do with self-perception of race. I completely agree with you that Blaine passes for white in a way that Darren doesn't, and it just makes me ponder about his entire family dynamic. It seems to me, at least, that the tiny glimpse of Blaine's dad that we've heard of doesn't come from an 'I hate you because you're gay' perspective at all, but instead 'I love you so much and life would be so much easier if you could just be straight, so why can't you?' Which is so much more insidious and kind and hard to argue against, I think. Because it comes from all the right places but takes the argument in a totally unrealistic direction. So I wanted to explore Blaine's mother doing the same thing with race to him; 'I love you and things will be so much easier if people see you as white, so do your best to blend in'. There's so much there to explore, and I'm sad that I don't think Glee would ever go there. I could honestly write a whole fic about Blaine's self-perception of his racial identity!
4. That is honestly the most lovely and awesome and amazing compliment ever, lovely, that this fic about something so recreational was able to give you new perspectives on canon characters. I just... thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you for saying that. <3 There were a lot of ideas about the boys I wanted to get across here, and I'm so happy it was effective. They both have SUCH control issues, I think, and presentation issues with how other people see them. On purely that level, it'll be interesting to see how they're able to open up to one another -- but I think you hit the nail on the head. By using a substance that is all about letting go of control, there is so much potential to see how it affects them and their relationship. OMG I AM SO HAPPY YOU ENJOYED THAT ASPECT AND TALKED ABOUT IT YOU MAKE ME HAPPPPPYYYYYYY. <3 <3 <3 I know that for me personally, I've had a lot of control issues in the past; being able to let go enough when I first started getting high actually let me work through a lot of hang-ups, weirdly enough, and the potential to see how it would affect them was too strong not to do!
5. Aha, thank you very much. <3 There's such nostalgia in so many of these scenes, aren't there? It's funny how such a specific scene as the Warbler house party inspires SO many feelings in so many of us. Whether with alcohol or pot or something else, it's just familiar! A shared human experience.
6.) They know one another so, so much better at the point of the ND party than at the Warbler party, for sure. Blaine could tell that Kurt was nervous, and what he needed, and gave it to him. I really love Blainers in that moment, too. <3
1. i never thought i'd need to read a pot!fic until i saw this. now i gots the munchies for it, if you can excuse the cheesy allusion
2. you totally hit on kinks i didn't even realize i had-- well, forgot i had, lol. shotgunning and stoned!sex laskjdfsadflkfd YES.
3. i really loved how you made every scene count. i loved all of it-- especially the ND scene! another scene that really struck me was between Marita and Blainers and Kurtsie-- how Kurt is thinking to himself, "you look more white," and then it ALL comes back again to the end when it's Blainers is all about presentation. i actually would have loved a greater extension/headcanon for that scene; it left me aching for more interactions with blainers and his family. i never thought about it, but blainers does "pass" for white in a way that darren doesn't... and it's giving me a new way to think about blainers do than just a desire to be a charming, dapper crooner reminiscent of an era gone by.
4. seriously, i can't believe i now am looking at canon!blainers and kurtsie in a different way. it's one thing to look at fanon!blainers and kurtsie in a new light, but i think you really nailed something on the head with this fic. they both harbor some serious control issues, and i mean that in the kindest way possible. by using a substance that is very much about losing control and depicting how they slowly lost their inhibitions-- oh man, i was going to go all Renegade English Major on you, but i'm just going to squee instead. SQUEE. seriously, kudos on the symbolism cause i loves that shit like NONE other
5. i'm sure i speak on behalf of a lot of people that part of the reason why it was so enjoyable was the nostalgic feelings depicted through the clearly detailed experiences.
6. i loved that blaine could tell that kurt was nervous about smoking in front of his friends and texted him. i actually felt my heart swell alongside kurt's.
7. i personally DEEPLY identified with kurt this entire fic-- i have weird performance anxiety about everything and smoking was definitely one of those things that i felt a similar anxiety about. it's a really just another social situation where there are unspoken rules and you don't want to fuck up and you managed to capture that very well, so kudos!
8. is it bad that i was kind of hoping that the huge high that they were going to get was off of space cakes? XD
i'm kind of sad that i know that some people will be turned off by this fic. i was really fucking excited when i saw this, but, i won't lie, i didn't really expect much of it even though i love your fic. i promise you that it had everything to do with the premise and nothing to do with your writing. i was just like, "oh god, this is going to be so very OOC and not make any sense and i will have to suspend all disbelief to make this work in my brain but whatevs, POTFIC YEYYY~" i think it's normal with this kind of fic that is so much outside the realm of what we anticipate for this character, but it's really too bad.
i guess what's really disappointing is that it's seriously more than the drug use. (sort of like how their relationship is more than that and look at me, drawing all these parallels.) like, as i was reading it and getting more into it, i was just thinking to myself, "honestly, pot is really just a vehicle in which both the reader and klaine can obtain a better understanding of their relationship, inner psychology, and how they approach the world around them." this is of course punctuated with squees and, "OMG ARE THEY OMG YES!" but, y'know ;)
but fo real tho, i honestly haven't seen such a reverberating take on blaine and kurt in a long while (and i'm on an unemployed gap year so i just read fic all day when i'm not writing for my internships, so like, i mean this completely and utterly), so this was truly a treat. thank you! (and apologizes for the long and winding comment!)
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Seriously, though, thank you! It always means so very much to me when you guys take the time to respond with such amazing, insightful, and thoughtful responses. As much as I love "omg yay!" comments, there's nothing quite like epic comments. <3 Thank you to everyone!!
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7.) it's a really just another social situation where there are unspoken rules and you don't want to fuck up <--- TRUER WORDS HAVE NEVER BEEN SPOKEN. Seriously, I'm so happy you were able to identify with Kurt on this aspect, because that was probably the most stressful thing about my own first time trying pot for sure. "Oh my god, I'm going to fuck up and they'll laugh at me." It was a good thing Kurt tried it for the first time in a safe environment!
8.) Not at all, darlin'. Not at all. <3
Oh, don't be sad, sweetie. *hugs* Although I'm very flattered and my heart is warmed that it makes you feel bad that some people might not want to read this for what is probably the wrong reasons. I knew that was going to happen with "Body", and I knew it was going to happen this time as well. (Apparently, I simply cannot write universally-appealing fic with no problematic elements. IT IS NOT IN MY BLOOD I TELL YOU! XD) I knew as soon as I got the idea for the fic that not everyone was going to be interested, and that's okay. It just makes the people who did read and enjoy even more special. <3 *hugs you*
Although I do find it so funny that people inherently seem to assume that Kurt and Blaine would have to be massively out of character for this to work! That makes me laugh! I would never have written something if I thought the only way to make it work was to have all the characters OOC, just like I would never have written this if I saw it as something the boys would never ever ever do. I suppose it helps that I live in a place where everyone and their mothers smokes/has smoked weed, so I have tonnes of extremely straight-laced and stiff-backed friends who smoke -- so it wasn't a huge leap for my brain at all. But I'm happy it got you excited nonetheless!!
But I completely understand the tiny bit of frustration that some people who would probably actually enjoy the introspection quite a bit aren't bothering because they think it's going to be silly. It's how I felt when I was posting "Howl" and "Body", too. "It's werewolf/rape fic, but it's MORE than that, I SWEAR!" XD I like to use strange scenarios as a way of exploring the characters we know and love, but I always know that will turn some people off. I guess we'll just have to hope that it gets recced at the weekly rec post and some people who wouldn't have bothered will give it a try. :)
pot is really just a vehicle in which both the reader and klaine can obtain a better understanding of their relationship, inner psychology, and how they approach the world around them <--- I love you forever and for all time, YES!!!
Oh my gosh, seriously, thank you -- more than anything for letting me know that this fic had such an impact on your view of the characters in such a way. Honestly, that just makes all the difference in the world to me, and makes me feel so accomplished and happy and delighted. A "reverberating take" oh my lord, thank you. <3 You are just a delight and a wonder, and I'm SO happy for this incredible comment!!! Thank you forever, because you made me feel so very vindicated in writing such a big fic about this topic. Seriously, your feedback made my LIFE bb!!!!!!!! <3 <3 <3
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asdfkjaksdf i have so much to say but not enough so i just wanted to say thank YOU for such an amazing response in return (i usually leave like, super long responses and then get like, really short responses back and that's cool, but i always get blown away when people take the time to give me an equally thorough response in return) and laksdjfaljkdf I'M GLAD THAT MY HAPPINESS MADE YOU HAPPY BECAUSE THAT'S ALL THAT I EVER WANTED YAY
oh god this comment is so bad. i should have like, left it as is. oh god. oh well. i loved this fic, though, and i definitely think about it every once in awhile, AND THAT IS JUST STRANGE FOR ME SINCE I READ SO MUCH FIC OH LORD. anyway! i love you and everything you write and choose to beeeee *hugs and squishes to make up for the fact that this response is a month late yay -_-!*
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1.) I'm so honoured that you enjoyed this so much even though it's not something you would ordinarily seek out. <3 I think that almost any subject can be tackled effectively and made worthwhile in fic as long as it's written with care, attention to characterization, and introspection.
2.) Ahahaha, ohhhhh pot kinks. <3 I'd say I'm sorry for revitalizing old kinks, darlin', but I think we both know that they're sexy and delicious enough to warrant some lovin'.
3.) Thank you very much!! I really do believe that there should be a purpose in every scene; when there is no purpose, that's when it becomes filler. And YAY about the ND scene! I had a hard time starting that scene, strangely, although once I began it flowed very easily -- so I'm happy it worked out!
And thank you, thank you, thank you about the hair gel scene. I... yeah, I've been wanting to write that scene for a very long time, actually. It just... I feel it makes so much sense for his character, you know? I always have. The way he presents himself, and puts on a show -- and I really wanted to weave that aspect right into Blaine's character in a fic that had nothing to do with self-perception of race. I completely agree with you that Blaine passes for white in a way that Darren doesn't, and it just makes me ponder about his entire family dynamic. It seems to me, at least, that the tiny glimpse of Blaine's dad that we've heard of doesn't come from an 'I hate you because you're gay' perspective at all, but instead 'I love you so much and life would be so much easier if you could just be straight, so why can't you?' Which is so much more insidious and kind and hard to argue against, I think. Because it comes from all the right places but takes the argument in a totally unrealistic direction. So I wanted to explore Blaine's mother doing the same thing with race to him; 'I love you and things will be so much easier if people see you as white, so do your best to blend in'. There's so much there to explore, and I'm sad that I don't think Glee would ever go there. I could honestly write a whole fic about Blaine's self-perception of his racial identity!
4. That is honestly the most lovely and awesome and amazing compliment ever, lovely, that this fic about something so recreational was able to give you new perspectives on canon characters. I just... thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you for saying that. <3 There were a lot of ideas about the boys I wanted to get across here, and I'm so happy it was effective. They both have SUCH control issues, I think, and presentation issues with how other people see them. On purely that level, it'll be interesting to see how they're able to open up to one another -- but I think you hit the nail on the head. By using a substance that is all about letting go of control, there is so much potential to see how it affects them and their relationship. OMG I AM SO HAPPY YOU ENJOYED THAT ASPECT AND TALKED ABOUT IT YOU MAKE ME HAPPPPPYYYYYYY. <3 <3 <3 I know that for me personally, I've had a lot of control issues in the past; being able to let go enough when I first started getting high actually let me work through a lot of hang-ups, weirdly enough, and the potential to see how it would affect them was too strong not to do!
5. Aha, thank you very much. <3 There's such nostalgia in so many of these scenes, aren't there? It's funny how such a specific scene as the Warbler house party inspires SO many feelings in so many of us. Whether with alcohol or pot or something else, it's just familiar! A shared human experience.
6.) They know one another so, so much better at the point of the ND party than at the Warbler party, for sure. Blaine could tell that Kurt was nervous, and what he needed, and gave it to him. I really love Blainers in that moment, too. <3
(oops, had to split this into two parts!)
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