Can I just tell you how much I love that they got in over their heads? It was like you took the trope (and I'm not talking fanfic here- Glee itself is the biggest offender) of kids solving their own big, huge problems and showed just exactly how dumb that can be. I mean, yes, kids are capable, but they're still kids. And that plan was perfect- it definitely worked, and it could work, but at the same time, they just didn't look at all the potential outcomes.
And the part where Karofsky ordered Kurt to love him and forget everything... yes. I've mentioned several times I love how creepy you made that, and to use it as the climax, and the thing that Kurt fears so much and fights so hard that the curse is broken was just perfect. That was completely intense, and the stakes were just so high and you really spelled out just how incredibly terrible that would be. Fantastic.
And the ending, and Kurt just not able to handle Blaine right now. Sad, yes, but so completely realistic and appropriate and not-healing-cock. I love that Kurt backed away for all the right reasons and that, even tough it hurt him, Blaine got it.
I'm really looking forward to the last part- excellent work!
Honey? I want you to know that I always look forward to your feedback on this fic so, so much. *hug* Seriously. Every single time, I know you're going to say something amazingly insightful and perfect and exactly what I was going for. I love the way you touch on the tropes and tendencies in fiction I was trying specifically to highlight/avoid -- mansplaining and different responses to sexual assault in a previous chapter, healing cock in this one. Just... you are a delight. Each and every time. <3
Now on with the response!! :D I'm SO happy that the climax was effective for you! And oh, my gosh. It drives me UP THE WALL when kids in media -- fanfic, yes, but you're so right that the show itself is SO bad for this -- are able to tackle every enormous emotional problem without a single hitch. The idea to not directly tell anyone and go off into the bushes to confront Karofsky? Man, they fucked up big-time on that one; it could have gone so, so badly. Personally, the reason I find kids so interesting to write because they just don't have the tools to deal with situations in the right way yet. Oh, boys. *hug* I'm so glad that aspect worked for you, love. :D
And oh, my sweet god. I think we've talked before about how we're on the exact same page with regards to the mental manipulation. For me, that is the single most disturbing part of this story to write. (When I wrote the sentence So I’m going to have to make a you I can trust, I actually turned to Mr. Darling and said "I just wrote the single most awful sentence in the English language" and freaked out for a minute. True fact.) And the threat of having Kurt's identity taken away... it was always, always going to be what he used to break the curse in the end. The stakes were incredibly high, and incredibly real: there was no coming back from Dave's order, so Kurt had no choice but to break the curse or die trying.
And thank you. Thank you thank you thank you for saying that about the ending. <3 <3 (Seriously, hon, my love for you knows no bounds.) Because there is just no way that Kurt is ready for a relationship. At all. He just cannot deal with someone else right now: he needs to focus on himself, to relearn himself in a safe place. To think about what a relationship with Blaine would mean. And yes, the circumstances were awful... but you're right. Blaine does understand, even if it hurts him.
Again, thank you so much for your wonderfully insightful and squee-inducing feedback. <3 It's so wonderful having you along for the ride, hon! Thank you so much for taking the time to read!!
Aww! I'm so glad. There are a couple people in my other fandom who leave amazing comments, and because of them I've been trying to be a better commenter. :)
I just wrote the single most awful sentence in the English language" and freaked out for a minute. True fact.
I totally believe you! And I really respect that- it is so hard to write someone being that awful. (I also fully agree that that's got to be the single most awful sentence in the English language.) I had a similar experience once, where I wrote a sentence I just could not handle and had to stop writing for the rest of the night. It's a terrible feeling to know you can conceive of something that terrible, even if you would never, ever, ever do it.
I hadn't realized when I read that scene, though, that Kurt would forget he had a curse on him. Which makes it even more incredibly awful- omg. I wonder if Dave truly realized the extent of what he was doing? I mean, Karofsky is definitely a bad guy in this, but you've really made the effort to show how a person who has bad tendencies really has become corrupted with this power, not that Karofsky was this Terrible Evil Human Being all along. I would actually believe he doesn't realize the enormity of that order he's giving, and what it really would do, although he certainly realizes a lot of it. I'm not making apologies for him- just musing that I think that he's also a kid and doesn't grasp all of the implications.
What I so love about the ending is that I know it's not a popular one, but if anything was going to convince me that Kurt and Blaine have a chance, it was what Blaine did at the end of the chapter. (And Kurt, but even more so, Blaine.) Because it was the epitome of Blaine saying, "I care about you, and this is what you need, so I'm putting your needs above what I want and giving you that space." That's a very mature thing for a 16/17 year old kid to be able to do, and I respect Blaine for that even more than anything else he's done in this fic. I'm a casual Kurt/Blaine shipper, but with what Blaine did at the end of this fic, I can believe that with time, patience, work, and therapy they could get to a place where their relationship would be really solid :)
I have to be honest- rape and rape recovery fics are a fic kink for me. I don't mean a "OMG, so hot!" kink, but just "I want to read more" fic. However, they're so very hard to find in this fandom. (Well, any fandom, really. Especially when talking about well-done fics.) So this fic has just made my day as you shoot down trope after trope and really get inside everyone's heads. So yeah :)
I totally understand what you mean! I think I left okay comments before getting into writing in this fandom, but after seeing all of the absolutely stunningly INCREDIBLE comments on my stuff, I'm making an effort to be a better commenter on other peoples' work, too. :)
Isn't it interesting, how hard it can hit you? And when? I wrote most of "Body" without getting too freaked out, and this fic has rape, intense emotional distress, angst... and the part that freaked me out to the point that I had to stop for a minute was that particular line. It's so nice to know that other people have had similar experiences, bb. How strange it is, how intensely wrapped up we all get in what we write and read! But I think that's one of the most amazing parts about fandom. :)
Yes, Kurt would forget he had a curse on him. He'd forget where he came from, who he was, and even what was keeping him there. He wouldn't be able to fight anymore because he wouldn't realize that he was trapped in the first place anymore. *shudder* It... it would be like taking a spoon and scooping everything that was Kurt out of Kurt's body like a ripe fruit, and just leaving the smiling skin behind. And I do think you're right about Dave: he's not an inherently evil character, although he does such terrible things. (I'm uncomfortable using the word 'evil' at all for most things, actually, haha! I'm weird.) But I think he was just thinking in terms of how do I get what I want and not this is literally going to destroy a human being. He's a kid being selfish, and I think you're right that he doesn't realize exactly what an order like that would mean.
Completely with you on the ending. :) I knew from the very first chapter that this was how the post-curse breaking was going to go down. There's no way Kurt wasn't going to need at least a little space after everything -- exactly how much is obviously going to vary from person to person, but he just needs some time. It would have been so unfair to both of them if Kurt had stayed behind and started a relationship with Blaine because he felt obligated to after Blaine helped him. So unfair, and I think it only could have ended in tears. And what Blaine does at the end of the chapter... you're just completely right. He doesn't necessarily want Kurt to go, but he does understand that it's what Kurt needs right now. And in some ways, I think it's much easier to stand up to for someone you care about than it is to step away from them when they need it. It's hard for Blaine, I think, because he always wants to fix other people's problems: but in this case, he really does understand that Kurt needs space more than anything. Oh, Blaine. He's so flawed and such a fuck-up, but I do love him so. <3
Is it weird if I totally agree with you on the 'rape recovery fic as a fascination' thing in fandom? I can't fully explain it, but when it's well done... you're completely correct. I just need to keep reading. I think the last fic that really, really hit me hard in this genre was probably in Inception, if you're familiar with the film. Broken Toy and its sequel Bad Dream just had be on my seat the entire time. So, yeah. WE ARE THE SAME, BASICALLY.
So glad that you're looking forward to the last installment, bb!! :)
Can I just tell you how much I love that they got in over their heads? It was like you took the trope (and I'm not talking fanfic here- Glee itself is the biggest offender) of kids solving their own big, huge problems and showed just exactly how dumb that can be. I mean, yes, kids are capable, but they're still kids. And that plan was perfect- it definitely worked, and it could work, but at the same time, they just didn't look at all the potential outcomes.
And the part where Karofsky ordered Kurt to love him and forget everything... yes. I've mentioned several times I love how creepy you made that, and to use it as the climax, and the thing that Kurt fears so much and fights so hard that the curse is broken was just perfect. That was completely intense, and the stakes were just so high and you really spelled out just how incredibly terrible that would be. Fantastic.
And the ending, and Kurt just not able to handle Blaine right now. Sad, yes, but so completely realistic and appropriate and not-healing-cock. I love that Kurt backed away for all the right reasons and that, even tough it hurt him, Blaine got it.
I'm really looking forward to the last part- excellent work!
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Now on with the response!! :D I'm SO happy that the climax was effective for you! And oh, my gosh. It drives me UP THE WALL when kids in media -- fanfic, yes, but you're so right that the show itself is SO bad for this -- are able to tackle every enormous emotional problem without a single hitch. The idea to not directly tell anyone and go off into the bushes to confront Karofsky? Man, they fucked up big-time on that one; it could have gone so, so badly. Personally, the reason I find kids so interesting to write because they just don't have the tools to deal with situations in the right way yet. Oh, boys. *hug* I'm so glad that aspect worked for you, love. :D
And oh, my sweet god. I think we've talked before about how we're on the exact same page with regards to the mental manipulation. For me, that is the single most disturbing part of this story to write. (When I wrote the sentence So I’m going to have to make a you I can trust, I actually turned to Mr. Darling and said "I just wrote the single most awful sentence in the English language" and freaked out for a minute. True fact.) And the threat of having Kurt's identity taken away... it was always, always going to be what he used to break the curse in the end. The stakes were incredibly high, and incredibly real: there was no coming back from Dave's order, so Kurt had no choice but to break the curse or die trying.
And thank you. Thank you thank you thank you for saying that about the ending. <3 <3 (Seriously, hon, my love for you knows no bounds.) Because there is just no way that Kurt is ready for a relationship. At all. He just cannot deal with someone else right now: he needs to focus on himself, to relearn himself in a safe place. To think about what a relationship with Blaine would mean. And yes, the circumstances were awful... but you're right. Blaine does understand, even if it hurts him.
Again, thank you so much for your wonderfully insightful and squee-inducing feedback. <3 It's so wonderful having you along for the ride, hon! Thank you so much for taking the time to read!!
Reply
I just wrote the single most awful sentence in the English language" and freaked out for a minute. True fact.
I totally believe you! And I really respect that- it is so hard to write someone being that awful. (I also fully agree that that's got to be the single most awful sentence in the English language.) I had a similar experience once, where I wrote a sentence I just could not handle and had to stop writing for the rest of the night. It's a terrible feeling to know you can conceive of something that terrible, even if you would never, ever, ever do it.
I hadn't realized when I read that scene, though, that Kurt would forget he had a curse on him. Which makes it even more incredibly awful- omg. I wonder if Dave truly realized the extent of what he was doing? I mean, Karofsky is definitely a bad guy in this, but you've really made the effort to show how a person who has bad tendencies really has become corrupted with this power, not that Karofsky was this Terrible Evil Human Being all along. I would actually believe he doesn't realize the enormity of that order he's giving, and what it really would do, although he certainly realizes a lot of it. I'm not making apologies for him- just musing that I think that he's also a kid and doesn't grasp all of the implications.
What I so love about the ending is that I know it's not a popular one, but if anything was going to convince me that Kurt and Blaine have a chance, it was what Blaine did at the end of the chapter. (And Kurt, but even more so, Blaine.) Because it was the epitome of Blaine saying, "I care about you, and this is what you need, so I'm putting your needs above what I want and giving you that space." That's a very mature thing for a 16/17 year old kid to be able to do, and I respect Blaine for that even more than anything else he's done in this fic. I'm a casual Kurt/Blaine shipper, but with what Blaine did at the end of this fic, I can believe that with time, patience, work, and therapy they could get to a place where their relationship would be really solid :)
I have to be honest- rape and rape recovery fics are a fic kink for me. I don't mean a "OMG, so hot!" kink, but just "I want to read more" fic. However, they're so very hard to find in this fandom. (Well, any fandom, really. Especially when talking about well-done fics.) So this fic has just made my day as you shoot down trope after trope and really get inside everyone's heads. So yeah :)
Very much looking forward to the last chapter!
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Isn't it interesting, how hard it can hit you? And when? I wrote most of "Body" without getting too freaked out, and this fic has rape, intense emotional distress, angst... and the part that freaked me out to the point that I had to stop for a minute was that particular line. It's so nice to know that other people have had similar experiences, bb. How strange it is, how intensely wrapped up we all get in what we write and read! But I think that's one of the most amazing parts about fandom. :)
Yes, Kurt would forget he had a curse on him. He'd forget where he came from, who he was, and even what was keeping him there. He wouldn't be able to fight anymore because he wouldn't realize that he was trapped in the first place anymore. *shudder* It... it would be like taking a spoon and scooping everything that was Kurt out of Kurt's body like a ripe fruit, and just leaving the smiling skin behind. And I do think you're right about Dave: he's not an inherently evil character, although he does such terrible things. (I'm uncomfortable using the word 'evil' at all for most things, actually, haha! I'm weird.) But I think he was just thinking in terms of how do I get what I want and not this is literally going to destroy a human being. He's a kid being selfish, and I think you're right that he doesn't realize exactly what an order like that would mean.
Completely with you on the ending. :) I knew from the very first chapter that this was how the post-curse breaking was going to go down. There's no way Kurt wasn't going to need at least a little space after everything -- exactly how much is obviously going to vary from person to person, but he just needs some time. It would have been so unfair to both of them if Kurt had stayed behind and started a relationship with Blaine because he felt obligated to after Blaine helped him. So unfair, and I think it only could have ended in tears. And what Blaine does at the end of the chapter... you're just completely right. He doesn't necessarily want Kurt to go, but he does understand that it's what Kurt needs right now. And in some ways, I think it's much easier to stand up to for someone you care about than it is to step away from them when they need it. It's hard for Blaine, I think, because he always wants to fix other people's problems: but in this case, he really does understand that Kurt needs space more than anything. Oh, Blaine. He's so flawed and such a fuck-up, but I do love him so. <3
Is it weird if I totally agree with you on the 'rape recovery fic as a fascination' thing in fandom? I can't fully explain it, but when it's well done... you're completely correct. I just need to keep reading. I think the last fic that really, really hit me hard in this genre was probably in Inception, if you're familiar with the film. Broken Toy and its sequel Bad Dream just had be on my seat the entire time. So, yeah. WE ARE THE SAME, BASICALLY.
So glad that you're looking forward to the last installment, bb!! :)
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