Fic: "My Body Betrays Me," Chapter Four -- Part Two. Non-con Kurt/Karofsky, Kurt/Blaine

[emilianadarling]

For everything that happens in this chapter... *enormous hug to all of you* Thank you for sticking it out with me. One more to go. :)

Title: "My Body Betrays Me" (Chapter Four: Kurt -- Part Two)
Author: emilianadarling
Fandom: Glee
Pairing: non-con/dub-con Kurt/Karofsky, Kurt/Blaine
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Vaguely explained magic, non-con, dub-con, angst, awful

Comments

[amordemealma]

okay, I have to get my thoughts together before I move on.

first thought...




I was so convinced for a second that when Kurt had that moment after he finally got to feel what he wanted to feel while doing that, when his body and mind were alined in thier feelings, When everything he felt was contempt for dave, and you wrote that simple word Done, that was it. Kurt was done. he had broken it. but then the orders keep coming and...




God that was horrific. I just kept wanting to go back to reading it in Karofsky's POV because at least then from his Point of view it wouldn't seem quite so awful. but no. Kurt has to choke and sputter, and want to throw up because he's being forced to give a blowjob.

And Kurt thinking he was a whore for that...No baby. no. just because you HAVE to doesn't make it any less of a crime against you and your body. I have some really strong hate feelings for Karofsky in this one. and pity. because who delusional and sick would you have to be to be absolutely convinced that this was all for Kurt and his own good and that that was okay?

Also the whole thing about Kurt thinking that Karofsky's not giving the order to enjoy it was a punishment in Dave's mind. I actually see it more as Karofsky being delusional enough to think that he didn't have to give the order. It was like his chance to prove to Kurt that it wasn't rape, that he did like it and enjoy it without being ordered to. because if he didn't have to order him to enjoy doing those awful, awful things and Kurt enjoyed it anyway, it would justify everything he's done and is doing. but that's just how I see it. You're the author. It could be completely different.

okay, I'll go finish reading now, even though I should be doing homework...

[emilianadarling]

Oh, sweetie, I love when you take a moment and post your thoughts for the first half of something. I really, really do -- which might sound strange, but usually be the end of a chapter this long everyone's forgotten about the first half! So seeing your responses laid out like this is just so rewarding, I can't even say. <3 <3 <3 homework can wait, there is ANGST TO BE HAD! no seriously I hope you had time to finish your schoolwork...

(Random thought: man, that Santana gif will never not be appropriate. <3)

:( I'm so sorry, hon! It sucks that you got excited for the curse to break and then NOPE EMILIANA IS A DOUCHE. :( But no... although Kurt is so, so relieved in this chapter to be able to feel disgust while the assault happens. Because having his mind twisted to like it? Is just unimaginably cruel. As terrible as the assault in this chapter is, at the very least Kurt is able to hate it with every fibre of his being. The "Done.", as I'm sure you guessed after continuing on to the next part, is an evilly ambiguous reference to getting what was necessary recorded on camera.

I think that the second part gives more insight to the You're a whore line, as well. Because we saw Kurt call himself the same in Chapter Two, yes. But here? He actually chose to let Dave violate him in order to get evidence. In Kurt's mind, he made a decision to let it happen; and it makes him feel even more disgusted with himself than ever. It doesn't make it any less of a crime against his body, and of course it doesn't make him what he claims. Kurt's surviving, and being SO strong, but he just can't see that about himself right now. ;________; Oh, Kurt...

Ugh, oh, god, the blow job scene. Just... *shivers* That was one of those scenes that was hard for me to write. And I think what freaked me personally out more than anything was Dave twisting it up to think it was for Kurt's own good. Like punishing a disobedient child; Kurt talks back, Dave gets rough. But oh, god. Least considerate blow job of all time and so FORCEFUL and ughiertiufeh4rugniuwhe uuuuuuuugh.

That's a wonderfully interesting interpretation! You know, it's more fun than I ever could have known to watch people read what I write and interpret it in their own way. I think that's totally a valid way to view the scene, too. Dave is just that fucked up inside his head. You are always welcome to talk about how you see scenes, bb! You know I love it!!

Thank you so, so much for this absolutely wonderful comment. Seriously, you are the star of my heart for discussing the first part in such detail. Thank you, bb!! :)(I know for a FACT that you're going to freak out over the next part, haha. :D :D :D :D :D)