(no subject)
Dear Journal,
I feel there is nothing that I will ever want to accomplish or stride for during my lifetime. I could be, and to some degree hope that I’m wrong. Maybe something will grab my attention and I’ll feel like perusing it, but right now nothing matters to me much at all. You and I have heard it before I know, but if things haven’t changed during the last ten years of my life, then why would they change in the future?
It could be education. Maybe once I’m free of the academic world, I’ll perk up and feel like there are things I want to do as opposed to hiding in bed until it’s dark and everyone and everything disappears again.
As I was walking along the sea front this evening, there were many groups of people. Friends sitting in cars, friends walking, partners embracing, and lone people like myself staring out at the ocean. I’m sure I’ll be one of these lone people whatever happens. They may have family and friends, or they may be solitary creatures emerging in the dark after work, at a place where people have no expectations of them. I see myself now and in the future as the solitary creature, but either way at this point I really would rather not be anything. I don’t have anywhere I want to go with this, but
I feel there is nothing that I will ever want to accomplish or stride for during my lifetime. I could be, and to some degree hope that I’m wrong. Maybe something will grab my attention and I’ll feel like perusing it, but right now nothing matters to me much at all. You and I have heard it before I know, but if things haven’t changed during the last ten years of my life, then why would they change in the future?
It could be education. Maybe once I’m free of the academic world, I’ll perk up and feel like there are things I want to do as opposed to hiding in bed until it’s dark and everyone and everything disappears again.
As I was walking along the sea front this evening, there were many groups of people. Friends sitting in cars, friends walking, partners embracing, and lone people like myself staring out at the ocean. I’m sure I’ll be one of these lone people whatever happens. They may have family and friends, or they may be solitary creatures emerging in the dark after work, at a place where people have no expectations of them. I see myself now and in the future as the solitary creature, but either way at this point I really would rather not be anything. I don’t have anywhere I want to go with this, but