Recarnated Love.Ch1.
Chapter 1.
[Flash Back].
"Stop fucking complaining so much."
"Oh im sorry for being too comfortable around you.
and like to share what ii would think and feel on most things.
i'll remember to keep shit to myself.
So ii don't have to bother you with my crap."
"No, its not that.
Its just you werent like this before boojae.
its like your acting like how i was." he said while looking straight into my eyes.
"How you were. ?
well it never bothered me.
Though ii couldnt remember how you acted."
I smiled showing that he's word didnt get to me.
and that I've never complained to him about him use to be an annoying person.
"Even Min said you complain to much."
There U-know once again. Bringing people into our arguments.
As if him alone couldnt come up with a good enough comeback to fought back against me.
I've exploded.
"What the Fuck.!
Fine if i annoy you and the others so fucking much.
then i wont fucking talk to you or them.
or any one else for that fucking matter.
fucking happy?"
Just like that i left.
i didnt want to see him.
or hear him.
Left him to stare at my back.
As i leave for work.
I wanted to be away from him.
I was so angry.
So aggitated with him.
For yelling at me.
I know. for a fact that i tend to get annoying.
but i cant help it.
its who i am.
and when im with my close friends and families.
i would open up.
Be myself.
Unfortunately i see that they cant accept me.
Accept the person im really are
then why do ii have to waste my time to please them.
arent friends and families suppose to tolerate the good and bad trates from you.
why do i get this kind of insult.
especially when its from the people i love.?
When my sister's says that im ugly.
or a fucking bitch.
on the outside.
I'll look as if i dont really care.
i try and give a comback.
I Failed miserably ofcorse.
But right from the start, on the inside i'm already crying.
Sometimes, I couldnt even hold my tears, at the insults
[I knew back then that i was a sook is well.]
and cried on the spot.
Even him.
Even him. the person i love.
says the things to make me sad.
but when i stop talking to him
so then he wouldn't go.
"Your complaining again."
while smiling at me.
he would notice it straight away. That ive been quiet for the last five minutes.
and said he was only joking.
Joking.
i heard alot of that word sliping out of his lips.
when ever he made a "joke".
but then it backfires.
i get upset.
i stop talking.
just concentrating on werk.
he would say .
"You know im only joking right?"
I would be.
"Yea".
But surely you know and i know thats not really what i feel.
I didnt feel like talking to him.
I dont want to feel so annoying to him.
when he went out of he ways to tell me im annoying.
But then he would spend a small portion of the time we had together at werk.
asking. Am i angry?.
am ii angry at him.?
why am ii sad.?
why do ii look angry.?
then ii would say things like.
"No. im not angry at you.
Im fine.
Dont worry, ii just wanna get things done faster. so im concentrating"
He doesnt belive it.
I know.
But i dont care. Why should i care?
Im not the person who hurt he's feelings am i.
There was only 3 hours left with him.
Left to spend time with him.
To be next to him.
To hear him.
But there was so many emotional feelings going through me.
Confused.
Hurt.
Anger.
and Embarassment.
Confused because i dont know why or how ii made him to be so annoyed.
Hurt by the simple things he said, simple jokes he made.
Anger because everyone else reckon so is well.
and Embarasse because ii let myself to be too open.
like a book for people to read.
For people to judge.
By the end of the night of my shift.
i bid him goodbye, and my other collegues.
Not giving him another glance.
I guess my sister is right.
I am a Fucking Bitch.
[End of Flashback]
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Previous: Prologue.
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[A/N]: eesh!. idk.
ii dnt think ii like this chapter very much. Y-Y
sounds bit boring.
but ii tried. Y-Y
please forgive me.
And tell me what you think. Y-Y.
Kamishida.