For some reason this didn't post when I wrote it on Weds
Harris County's pharmacy is pissing me off AGAIN. But what's new, right? So, after trying every SSRI under the SUN to find one that didn't make me crazier, Lexapro was it, and I've proven that when I'm off of it for only 2 days, I turn into CRAZY!Em. Naturally, this wonder drug is expensive, and Harris County has decided that it won't pay the extra money for it. This forces Mom to now shell out $130/month to keep me sane. Yay. The woman who does all the paperwork for this stuff hasn't gotten back to me about whether or not my doctor can appeal the committee's decision to not get me my drugs, or what the fuck happened to the prescription assistance paperwork I did for Lexapro's manufacturer. Because it'd be a hell of a lot better to get the meds for free/almost free.
I'm also probably going to drop out of the IOP. I had a breakdown on Monday (precipitated by the lack of Lexapro, but it had been building for a while anyway), and realized that all I was really getting out of IOP was tired. I get up at 5:30 to commute an hour (in good traffic) to sit and listen to other people's problems for four hours, then sit in more traffic for 45 minutes to get home. I find that I'm good at providing feedback to others, but everyone else is so self-absorbed that they are unable to help me out much. So I'm putting in way more that I am getting out at this point. There is one woman who has no self esteem whatsoever and is perfectionistic, yet refuses to do stuff like comb her hair. She's otherwise functional, just batty. And has the most annoying mannerisms EVER. I think what's annoying is that she reminds me of me at about age 12, where all of my self-esteem was externalized, and I was trying to be perfect so people would like me. It took another 15 years, but I finally figured out that perfection was unattainable, and what bitchy Casey said didn't really mean that I sucked as a person. So I tend to want to constantly yell at this woman "YOU"RE 54!! GROW UP ALREADY!!" I spent last Wednesday getting lectured to for an hour by a dietetic student who actually had a full-on Valley Girl accent. I shit you not. She sounded EXACTLY like the girl who does the "Oh My God Becky" dialogue at the beginning of "Baby Got Back." This student was so stupid I would have mocked her, but she was already using the accent I would have used to mock her. There was nowhere else to go with the impression, and that actually frustrated me. She was even smacking her g um. You know, I was so stuck on the living caricature in front of me that I only just stopped to realize something: Do Valley girls even sound that way anymore? And, if so, what was she doing in Texas? She was too young to have grown up during the original Valley Accent Wildfire that spread across America and still has me saying "like" and "dude."
I emailed Dr. Shah (my kick-ass psychiatrist who is still the only person who I think really cares and is doing the job because he wants to, not because he's forced to), and let him know about my missing Lexapro and my feelings about IOP (since he's the medical director for it and was the one who referred me there). I want to know what he thinks before doing anything else.
I'm so headachy due to allergies. Yay!
Okay. Now for something happy/funny to balance all the woe:
What makes this one for me is the "WTF are you doing?" look on the background cat's face.
I'm also probably going to drop out of the IOP. I had a breakdown on Monday (precipitated by the lack of Lexapro, but it had been building for a while anyway), and realized that all I was really getting out of IOP was tired. I get up at 5:30 to commute an hour (in good traffic) to sit and listen to other people's problems for four hours, then sit in more traffic for 45 minutes to get home. I find that I'm good at providing feedback to others, but everyone else is so self-absorbed that they are unable to help me out much. So I'm putting in way more that I am getting out at this point. There is one woman who has no self esteem whatsoever and is perfectionistic, yet refuses to do stuff like comb her hair. She's otherwise functional, just batty. And has the most annoying mannerisms EVER. I think what's annoying is that she reminds me of me at about age 12, where all of my self-esteem was externalized, and I was trying to be perfect so people would like me. It took another 15 years, but I finally figured out that perfection was unattainable, and what bitchy Casey said didn't really mean that I sucked as a person. So I tend to want to constantly yell at this woman "YOU"RE 54!! GROW UP ALREADY!!" I spent last Wednesday getting lectured to for an hour by a dietetic student who actually had a full-on Valley Girl accent. I shit you not. She sounded EXACTLY like the girl who does the "Oh My God Becky" dialogue at the beginning of "Baby Got Back." This student was so stupid I would have mocked her, but she was already using the accent I would have used to mock her. There was nowhere else to go with the impression, and that actually frustrated me. She was even smacking her g um. You know, I was so stuck on the living caricature in front of me that I only just stopped to realize something: Do Valley girls even sound that way anymore? And, if so, what was she doing in Texas? She was too young to have grown up during the original Valley Accent Wildfire that spread across America and still has me saying "like" and "dude."
I emailed Dr. Shah (my kick-ass psychiatrist who is still the only person who I think really cares and is doing the job because he wants to, not because he's forced to), and let him know about my missing Lexapro and my feelings about IOP (since he's the medical director for it and was the one who referred me there). I want to know what he thinks before doing anything else.
I'm so headachy due to allergies. Yay!
Okay. Now for something happy/funny to balance all the woe:
What makes this one for me is the "WTF are you doing?" look on the background cat's face.