FYI
So, I've mentioned that I'm starting a diet/exercise program. I tried this a couple of years ago and life happened to keep me from completing my goal. I've re-opened emnotsobored , where I will be keeping a (hopefully) daily journal about my eating habits, exercise, and struggle against my binge-eating disorder (the really really tough part about all this). Do not feel like you have to follow me there, it will be pretty boring. But, if you want to drop in on occasion to post encouragement, that'd be cool. I'm purposely not weighing myself for this whole process. My sister is a recovering anorexic/bulimic (and currently battling to remain in her recovery) and was always obsessed with the number. She's finally gotten to where she doesn't even know what her last weight was. I know what my last weight was because I went to see my allergist one last time a couple of weeks ago (255lbs on June 16, 2009). However, we do not own a scale and will not own one. Therefore, my main test on how I'm doing will be how my clothes fit, and the size I can wear. My ultimate goal is to get down to about a 12/14 instead of a 22/24 as I am now. My weight goal is to be back down at about 150, so this is going to be a long process. At the moment, I will be happy with 5 pounds and a little looser clothing, then 10, etc. I'll probably try to weigh myself once every month or so only to check basic progress. I'm not going to be fretting about the numbers. I just want to feel better. Not hurt so much in my back, knees, and ankles. Not be so damn winded going up stairs. Not get red-faced walking through a grocery store and not to feel tired afterward. Not feel so fucking hot going outside in 80 degree weather. Not sweating any time it's hotter than about 70. And, to maybe, some day, get to where I don't feel ashamed of my body. Don't feel like I'm always getting judged or dismissed because I'm fat. To have the image I have of myself in my head match reality again (in my head, I drive a Corvette still, in reality, it's more like a school bus).
Okay, no more heavy. Good news: I finally found a new ranch dressing to eat! The brand is Naturally Fresh, and I found it at the Kroger in the group of salad dressings in the veggie cooler. Great for dipping, because it's thick. It also tastes like ranch. I'm pissed at Kraft for going "pure" because their new ranch tastes like ass (to me), and I am only so so about Hidden Valley. This stuff is good. Finally. If you're a picky ranch person like me, try this stuff. I like it.
I went downstairs earlier and hooked up the new mp3 player to Sis's computer and stole all of her Sarah McLachlan, Tori Amos, and Garbage, plus some other random stuff (Slegehammer - Peter Gabriel, I Kissed a Girl - Katy Perry, etc). She came out and was annoyed that I was hooked up to her computer and using it without her permission. Well, my defense is this: She was asleep when I came downstairs and therefore couldn't be asked for permission, and also, I wasn't changing anything on her computer, just copying files to the fauxpod. (She got rather pissed the other day when I sat down and downloaded Firefox and changed some of her screen/virtual memory settings so her computer run like the 1.5GHz, 500 Mg RAM thing she has. My next step is to download AVG - she has an expired copy of McAffee that's doing no good, but taking up assloads of processing doing nothing - for her and also delete a bunch of the programs she doesn't use any more, like AOL, to streamline everything some more. Hopefully that will help. I just don't want her to kill this computer like she killed her previous two: by getting so infected with viruses and adware that there was no hope for recovery.)
Okay, no more heavy. Good news: I finally found a new ranch dressing to eat! The brand is Naturally Fresh, and I found it at the Kroger in the group of salad dressings in the veggie cooler. Great for dipping, because it's thick. It also tastes like ranch. I'm pissed at Kraft for going "pure" because their new ranch tastes like ass (to me), and I am only so so about Hidden Valley. This stuff is good. Finally. If you're a picky ranch person like me, try this stuff. I like it.
I went downstairs earlier and hooked up the new mp3 player to Sis's computer and stole all of her Sarah McLachlan, Tori Amos, and Garbage, plus some other random stuff (Slegehammer - Peter Gabriel, I Kissed a Girl - Katy Perry, etc). She came out and was annoyed that I was hooked up to her computer and using it without her permission. Well, my defense is this: She was asleep when I came downstairs and therefore couldn't be asked for permission, and also, I wasn't changing anything on her computer, just copying files to the fauxpod. (She got rather pissed the other day when I sat down and downloaded Firefox and changed some of her screen/virtual memory settings so her computer run like the 1.5GHz, 500 Mg RAM thing she has. My next step is to download AVG - she has an expired copy of McAffee that's doing no good, but taking up assloads of processing doing nothing - for her and also delete a bunch of the programs she doesn't use any more, like AOL, to streamline everything some more. Hopefully that will help. I just don't want her to kill this computer like she killed her previous two: by getting so infected with viruses and adware that there was no hope for recovery.)