Goings on in Houston: Part 1
Hopefully, I'll actually carry through on one of these promises to finish a multiple posting....
I mentioned in a previous post that I had been spending time in the Greater Houston area as of late. Basically, it was Thursday before last until yesterday, minus the Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday of last week (those I spent back here in Austin sleeping).
Here's a fun anecdote from Sunday before last: Heather, her friend, and I went to a local pub after the pre-conference meet-and-greet session. (I got to shake hands and/or get really close to a bunch of famous, or semi-famous, or what you would call famous in the space world, people. Like some of the guys that worked on the Apollo missions, and several people I recognized mainly because I had seen them interviewed on shows about asteroids or space missions.) Actually, this friend of Heather's was the only woman on the recovery teams for both the comet dust collector, Stardust, and the solar wind collector that you might remember because it crashed in the Utah desert, Genesis. She's really cool.
As we were finishing dinner and were doing that post-check discussion before standing thing, this woman sat down in the fourth chair at our table. Bear in mind that none of us know her. AT ALL. She was trailer-trashy. By this I mean: jean shorts from the mid-90's, Keds, motorcycle jacket that didn't fit her, a really bad cheap haircut and blond dye-job that was growing out showing her dirty blond roots, and nasty teeth. It was literally like she was stuck in a time freeze from a decade ago. Most likely she was on some kind of something because she was acting very erratically (Post thought: maybe meth?). Okay. So she sat down at our table next to Heather's friend and across from me. She looked at us and asked, "Have you guys been here a while?!?" We were all so stunned by her sudden appearance that we all kind of mumbled, "Yeah, kinda," and hoped she'd go away. SOON. She didn't. Instead she stared at me and asked, "You see that guy back there?? (gestured generally toward the back of the room where there were about 15 "guys") Is he with those girls, do ya think?!?!" I'm italicizing because she was talking kinda fast, but in a hushed way... seriously, I think she was on something. "Um. I... don't know." "Has he been with them long?!?!?" "Um... haven't really been paying attention." At this point I'm attempting to try and make the point that WE DO NOT CARE. Needless to say, she wasn't getting it. And then she started mumbling to herself. A lot. "You think you know someone. You spend four months with them... I... Are you sure he's not with them?!?!?!" "I REALLY haven't been paying attention. I'm sorry." By now we're all really uncomfortable. Heather's the lucky one because she's been basically left out of the conversation; her friend is trying to get as far as physically possible from this woman without moving her chair (and I mean actually cringing), and I'm getting tired of trying to keep this woman semi-calm so she doesn't grab my knife and stab someone. It was like talking to a paranoid schizophrenic. I was having to be very soothing yet firm at the same time to keep her focused. "You probably think I'm crazy. Some woman comes outta nowhere and sits at your table asking all sorts a questions. Probably think I'm crazy." She looked at me and at our friend to see if we thought she was nuts. The obvious answer was a big fat "YES!!" but of course that would have set off the crazy chick. So we said, "No. Of course not." After this, she continued to talk to herself, "Hopefully he won't see me.... I don't want him to see me here... do you think he can see me? Are you sure he's not with those girls? Bastard. You think I'm crazy, right? Crazy woman sitting here talking about a guy..." for at least another five minutes until she finally seemed to either recognize another man in the place that was trying to walk out the door and/or proceeded to accost another stranger in her attempt to assess her new relationship situation. This new guy she pulled into the corner near the hostess stand. As soon as she did this and we were sure that she wasn't going to introduce us or anything, we decided to immediately depart, lest we get involved in more of her strange ramblings.
I couldn't help it. I had to look over to the guy that I figured she had been gesturing in the general direction of. He was seated in this nook that had a fireplace and a picnic table that sat him and two decent-looking blondes. Was he with them, or just in their general vicinity? Totally with them. How did I know? Because he was putting food into their mouths suggestively while they did that, "Mmm, that's so good," lean and suck thing. Yeah. I know. Sluts.
I shared this with my friends as soon as we got outside and we all had a good laugh at the poor woman that would definitely have her crazy little heart broken by this guy. But then again, if I was that dude, I would go for the two better looking blondes with pizza by the fire than the schizo, trailer-trashy, stalker one back home.
I mentioned in a previous post that I had been spending time in the Greater Houston area as of late. Basically, it was Thursday before last until yesterday, minus the Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday of last week (those I spent back here in Austin sleeping).
Here's a fun anecdote from Sunday before last: Heather, her friend, and I went to a local pub after the pre-conference meet-and-greet session. (I got to shake hands and/or get really close to a bunch of famous, or semi-famous, or what you would call famous in the space world, people. Like some of the guys that worked on the Apollo missions, and several people I recognized mainly because I had seen them interviewed on shows about asteroids or space missions.) Actually, this friend of Heather's was the only woman on the recovery teams for both the comet dust collector, Stardust, and the solar wind collector that you might remember because it crashed in the Utah desert, Genesis. She's really cool.
As we were finishing dinner and were doing that post-check discussion before standing thing, this woman sat down in the fourth chair at our table. Bear in mind that none of us know her. AT ALL. She was trailer-trashy. By this I mean: jean shorts from the mid-90's, Keds, motorcycle jacket that didn't fit her, a really bad cheap haircut and blond dye-job that was growing out showing her dirty blond roots, and nasty teeth. It was literally like she was stuck in a time freeze from a decade ago. Most likely she was on some kind of something because she was acting very erratically (Post thought: maybe meth?). Okay. So she sat down at our table next to Heather's friend and across from me. She looked at us and asked, "Have you guys been here a while?!?" We were all so stunned by her sudden appearance that we all kind of mumbled, "Yeah, kinda," and hoped she'd go away. SOON. She didn't. Instead she stared at me and asked, "You see that guy back there?? (gestured generally toward the back of the room where there were about 15 "guys") Is he with those girls, do ya think?!?!" I'm italicizing because she was talking kinda fast, but in a hushed way... seriously, I think she was on something. "Um. I... don't know." "Has he been with them long?!?!?" "Um... haven't really been paying attention." At this point I'm attempting to try and make the point that WE DO NOT CARE. Needless to say, she wasn't getting it. And then she started mumbling to herself. A lot. "You think you know someone. You spend four months with them... I... Are you sure he's not with them?!?!?!" "I REALLY haven't been paying attention. I'm sorry." By now we're all really uncomfortable. Heather's the lucky one because she's been basically left out of the conversation; her friend is trying to get as far as physically possible from this woman without moving her chair (and I mean actually cringing), and I'm getting tired of trying to keep this woman semi-calm so she doesn't grab my knife and stab someone. It was like talking to a paranoid schizophrenic. I was having to be very soothing yet firm at the same time to keep her focused. "You probably think I'm crazy. Some woman comes outta nowhere and sits at your table asking all sorts a questions. Probably think I'm crazy." She looked at me and at our friend to see if we thought she was nuts. The obvious answer was a big fat "YES!!" but of course that would have set off the crazy chick. So we said, "No. Of course not." After this, she continued to talk to herself, "Hopefully he won't see me.... I don't want him to see me here... do you think he can see me? Are you sure he's not with those girls? Bastard. You think I'm crazy, right? Crazy woman sitting here talking about a guy..." for at least another five minutes until she finally seemed to either recognize another man in the place that was trying to walk out the door and/or proceeded to accost another stranger in her attempt to assess her new relationship situation. This new guy she pulled into the corner near the hostess stand. As soon as she did this and we were sure that she wasn't going to introduce us or anything, we decided to immediately depart, lest we get involved in more of her strange ramblings.
I couldn't help it. I had to look over to the guy that I figured she had been gesturing in the general direction of. He was seated in this nook that had a fireplace and a picnic table that sat him and two decent-looking blondes. Was he with them, or just in their general vicinity? Totally with them. How did I know? Because he was putting food into their mouths suggestively while they did that, "Mmm, that's so good," lean and suck thing. Yeah. I know. Sluts.
I shared this with my friends as soon as we got outside and we all had a good laugh at the poor woman that would definitely have her crazy little heart broken by this guy. But then again, if I was that dude, I would go for the two better looking blondes with pizza by the fire than the schizo, trailer-trashy, stalker one back home.