(no subject)
Life fucking sucks, I've come to the honest conclusion that no matter what, life will always fuck you over somehow. Happy for one second and next thing you know your life is upside down and sucking and why do we all do this? I'm so tired of everything i'm physically from all the pain I'm feeling.
I feel like in life I try to hard to be happy, and i try to do best to make everyone else happy, cause for fuck sake i want to be fucking happy. But its a sad time when you get to the point where you think getting to happiness is just not worth pain to get there. Like if i knew i could be happy for some lovely sustained period of time, the hell yes I'd do that to get there, but you know what i was happy, and the happy lasted for not very long. I used to think that any happiness is good ANY, but its just like why fucking bother. Its so much easier to be bitter and angry at the world. I'm so tired of fighting for happiness for once i just need it to come to me, but I'm not sure it ever will. And these awful thoughts of genuinly wanting to jump off a bridge keep coming into play. I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle.
I feel like in life I try to hard to be happy, and i try to do best to make everyone else happy, cause for fuck sake i want to be fucking happy. But its a sad time when you get to the point where you think getting to happiness is just not worth pain to get there. Like if i knew i could be happy for some lovely sustained period of time, the hell yes I'd do that to get there, but you know what i was happy, and the happy lasted for not very long. I used to think that any happiness is good ANY, but its just like why fucking bother. Its so much easier to be bitter and angry at the world. I'm so tired of fighting for happiness for once i just need it to come to me, but I'm not sure it ever will. And these awful thoughts of genuinly wanting to jump off a bridge keep coming into play. I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle.