Fic: Arthur/Merlin; The Thing is
Title: The Thing Is
Rating: PG-13
Pairings: Merlin/Arthur, implied Merlin/Gwaine
Word Count: 4,509
Warnings: none.
Disclaimer: The characters depicted herein belong to Shine and BBC. I make no profit from this endeavor.
Summary: In which Arthur is jealous and gets pretty good at ignoring Merlin.
Author's Notes: Thank you to my beta gracious_anne. Written for fierysunrise @ glomp_fest exchange.
Arthur lied on his bed, staring at the ceiling, idly wondering whenever to get up or not. It was a Saturday morning, there nowhere he had to be, nobody to see right away and he relished the unhurried pace at which he could do things.
Just as he was about to sit up there was a knock on the door. He propped himself up in his elbows and said, “Come in.”
It was Merlin, holding a pile of papers and a book, and Arthur’s features immediately brightened like someone had switched the light on, which on itself was sort of a ridiculous thought. He tried to hide it behind a scowl, though, but failed miserably. Merlin was just - okay, he was different, in a good way, and hard to be angry, annoyed at.
“I bought you these,” Merlin held up the pile, showing them like some sort of treasures to Arthur. “You said that you had troubles with the assignment about Ancient Art, so I dag a bit and found this. I’d be really happy if you could bring it back by the end of the next week, okay?”
At this point Arthur was certain that Merlin was blushing, put under his scrutiny, though he had turned away, carefully putting the pile on his desk, in between piles of books, laptop and other things.
“Oh - okay, thanks.” Arthur was caught by surprise - okay, they sort of talked a lot, turned up at the same places (a lot of thanks go to Lance, though), but this was new. Not unwelcomed, of course. “What’s with the top hat, though?”
“That.” Merlin absently touched it with his fingers and grinned. “It was Gwen’s idea.” He shrugged, leaning against the table.
“Which -” Arthur gestured with his hand for Merlin to explain more.
“Would explain a lot if you knew that Gwen liked dress-up and she always managed to drag me into these things -so, top hat for today.”
“And long colourful dress for tomorrow.” Arthur teased. “You know, it looks sort of ridiculous.”
“Shut up. I’ve been told I look good.”
“They may have hit their head against hard surfaces too many times to say that.”
“Prat.” Merlin laughed, head tipped back, exposing his neck for Arthur to ogle the fine expanse of skin. He barely managed to look away, heart in his throat, when Merlin straightened up, glanced his way and gestured at the door. “I gotta go, though. Unlike you I have a whole lot to do before the evening.”
And only then Arthur remembered - the party. He really hoped to see Merlin there but he usually didn’t go to parties and he wasn’t sure if he was good enough reason for him to turn up. He asked anyway.
“Will you be at the party?”
Merlin turned to him, one hand on the knob and shrugged. “You know, not my kind of scene.”
“Oh come on, be there.”
“I’ll think about it. I still have a whole week.”
It already counted as a success in Arthur’s head, because the answer always had been definite no as far he knew.
-
The next time Arthur saw Merlin was on Tuesday, during his soccer practice. The first thing Arthur, noticed about him, though, was the hideous flowery shirt he wore (most probably because of Gwen but that was besides the point), and Arthur burst out laughing at the sight, which earned him a few weird looks from his teammates.
He excused himself shortly after and sprinted up to Merlin who waved at seeing him approach.
“What’s with the shirt?” Arthur asked, shortly followed by, “What are you doing here, exactly?” Since as far Arthur knew none of his friends played in the team, beside him, that is. Oh.
“I re-watched Romeo and Juliet with Gwen.” Arthur raised an eyebrow. Merlin sighed in a dramatic manner and Arthur fought back a retort. “Right. In that movie Romeo wore flowery shirts.”
“Seriously? Had he no style at all?” Arthur thought the whole topic was ridiculous.
“Those were nineties.”
“Whatever. So...” At Arthur’s imploring face expression Merlin seemed to catch up with the question he didn’t answer in the first place.
Merlin shrugged, a crooked smile on his lips. “I came to cheer you on.”
Arthur fought back a wide grin, his eyes following the way the sunshine played in Merlin’s brown hair. “But it’s just a practice,” it came out sounding wrong like he wanted him to leave.
“Should I not be here, then?”Merlin gestured in the general direction of the main building, slightly unsure, eyes quite not meeting Arthur’s.
“I didn’t say that. But didn’t you have to be... doing whatever it is you do after lessons?” Arthur almost slipped the name of the club Merlin lead; he wasn’t supposed to know since he made such a big deal about it not being worth remembering the last time.
“It’s Ancient Literature club.”
“Obviously. Ancient, yes. As if we don’t have enough ancient books in the library.”
“They are really valuable. And, no, obviously I don’t have to be there if I’m here.”
Which, yes, made sense, a lot of sense actually. Arthur rolled his eyes, though. Merlin’s shirt was still hideous and stupid, which, though, didn’t lessen his desire to rip it off him, in fact, it heightened the wish tenfold. Because, yeah, how could you not? Wish to rip the shirt off, he meant.
“It only indicates that you don’t care about it as much as you claim to.”
“In fact, I do, prat.” Even then Merlin glanced at the cell phone in his hand as if waiting for a call. Arthur had noticed it earlier, but now as he was starting to find it annoying, he decided to ask about it.
“Why are you toying with the phone?”
“I’m waiting a call from a bookshop. They said they might get a really old edition of Shakespeare’s Othello, only they didn’t know whenever the previous owner will sell it.” Merlin sounded really excited about the book. Personally Arthur didn’t know what the big deal was.
“If you say so -”
His coach’s booming voice interrupted him mid-sentence, “Pendragon, on the pitch, right this instant!”
Arthur winced. He really didn’t like the guy some of the days like, for instance, today. “I’ve to run.”
“Have fun kicking the ball around the pitch,” Merlin shouted after him, half-laughing.
-
Arthur arrived around 11pm with a six-pack and snacks. By that time most of the people had arrived, judging by the large crowd inside the house. At the entrance he met with Lance, who greeted him and pointed at kitchen where he’d put his drinks. Arthur smiled, nodded and pushed through the crowd, the music blasting from the stereos and everyone was steadily getting drunk.
By the refrigerator Arthur bumped into Merlin who was leaning against the counter, looking slightly out of place in his black jeans and large sweater. Arthur broke out into a grin without even realizing when he saw that it was Merlin, and it was kind of pathetic, if you think about it.
“Hi, it’s great to see you here... Want a beer?” Arthur lifted his six-pack, amused smiled tugging on his lips.
Merlin shook his head. “Nah, maybe later, but thanks. I’ve my own.”Merlin gestured in the vague direction of the table where the most of the drinks and snacks were kept - okay, what was left of them by this point. Looked like they had started early.
Arthur raised his eyebrows in amusement. “Who would’ve thought that?” He mused.
Merlin looked at him like he was weird. “What? I know how to buy beer.”
“I don’t doubt that. Though, I remember the last time you got drunk.”
“Yeah, well, me too and I wasn’t the only one.” Merlin looked pointedly at Arthur.
“I can handle my drink.” Which, okay, was sort of lie.
“I’m sure of that. Apparently, you dance just as well... on the table.” By this point Merlin had hard time trying to hide the laugh that was trying to escape. Arthur glared at him to show that he was annoyed, but he didn’t think he pulled it off with the grin tugging his lips upwards at seeing Merlin so happy.
“Shut up. It was just that one time. The hangover was a bitch the next morning. Definitely not worth it.”
“Oh, I remember you bitching about it, loudly.”
In answer Arthur swatted Merlin’s arm playfully and Merlin grinned. Arthur moved to lean against the counter, so close their thighs touched. But the moment pasted and Arthur was dragged away without any explanation by very excited Lancelot. He ended up drinking far less than he wanted to, listening to his friends’ drunken slurring and dancing awkwardly with girls and boys alike.
A few hours (or what felt like few hours) later Arthur caught a sight of Merlin standing somewhere on the side of the living room with somebody. His feet carried him towards Merlin, without thinking, as if gravity was pulling him. He froze, though as few steps away from Merlin upon noticing his companion.
Gwaine.
And then Arthur noticed Gwaine flirting openly with Merlin who answered in kind, grinning from ear to ear, a bottle of beer in his hand. And just as Merlin swayed and laughed, leaning towards Gwaine, Arthur understood two things - Merlin was really drunk and it wasn’t a good sign.
He had seen him drunk, oh yes, and he was affectionate, cheerful and touchy-feely - okay, Arthur didn’t mind, and he knew Gwaine wouldn’t either but he would possibly take advantage of Merlin. Not that Arthur knew but Gwaine had been practically undressing Merlin with his eyes the whole time. It didn’t sit well with Arthur. He liked to think that Merlin was his, it was a selfish thought, he was aware, but sometimes it slipped his mind that really Merlin could be interested in whoever he wanted. Yet, Arthur pushed through the crowd right now to get to him.
“C’mere, Merlin. We’re going home.”
“A’thu’,” Merlin slurred, still grinning from ear to ear, his free hand now resting on his upper arm, the warmth soaking through Arthur’s thin layer of clothes.
At first Gwaine looked bewildered, glancing between Arthur and Merlin, but then he took a step forwards and blocked their way out. “Hey, mate, I don’t think he wants to go anywhere so fast.”
“And who are you to him to decide that?”
“His date,” Gwaine announced proudly and it felt like a cold bucket of water had been spilled over Arthur’s head. How he could’ve missed? No, more to the point, how he could’ve not known in the first place?
“That’s ridiculous. I would know that if you two had a date.”
“It may have slipped his mind. You know, it happens.” Gwaine shrugged, a slight smile creeping on his lips.
“Not to him,” Arthur said confidently.
“Hey, no a’guing okey?” Merlin slurred, sort of waving at them happily. Arthur was unimpressed and hurt that, apparently, Merlin didn’t trust him with such information. So, he hadn’t been the reason at all. That thought didn’t improve his mood in any way.
“You’re wasted, mate,” Gwaine took the bottle from Merlin’s loose fingers. “Why don’t we sit down?”
“No, no sitting. We’re leaving.” Arthur tugged on Merlin’s sweater.
“No, I don’t think so.”
“You’ve no say in this.”
“But I’m his -”
“I know. You can call him tomorrow when he’s sober and do whatever.” Arthur had had enough of him.
“Hey, tell him he owes me a lot of kisses.” Gwaine shouted after him. Arthur ignored him completely, pulling Merlin towards the entrance. He didn't get far, though. Merlin pressed closer, his hands roaming around Arthur's body and - oh, slipping under his black t-shirt.
Arthur froze and to his embarrassment his dick stirred in his pants, liking the attention given to his body. Arthur moved backwards but Merlin followed, though, until Arthur's back hit the living room’s wall.
Merlin was now pressed against him from neck to knees (mouth close to Arthur’s neck), warm and willing but Arthur simply couldn't take advantage of him when he was in such state, no matter how willing he was. Knowing Merlin, the next day he'd definitely regret it and tell that it was the reason he usually didn't drink or went to parties, or something along the lines. Arthur would only be left with knowledge of Merlin's lips on his, ruined chance and indescribable yearning. Which, yeah, would pretty much suck big time.
That thought didn't stop his body from responding, placing him in an awkward situation to which Merlin was completely obvious at the moment, busy - ohgoddon'tstop - busy kissing along his neck and rubbing against his body in a way Arthur found irresistible and adorable. But he had to stop this right now. Really, right the fuck now. Merlin had a date and he wouldn’t be happy to find out that he had practically molested Arthur while drunk. It didn’t matter that Arthur wanted Merlin so much it hurt.
"Hey, Merlin, mate, you're drunk, let's get you out of here." He put his hands on Merlin's shoulders, intent to push him away but Merlin lifted his heavy lidded eyes, a goofy smile on his lips and Arthur felt his will crumble around the edges.
He probably would've given if not for the next words that passed Merlin's lips, more a murmur of words told close to his ears than anything else, "Gwaine, I mean - want one taste of this gorgeous body, it would be enough... I think."
He sounded oddly wistful. Arthur thought he had no reason to, he just practically announced that he wanted a one night stand with Gwaine - wait, he didn’t know it was him and it meant - fuck. Arthur pushed Merlin away from him.
"Okay, enough, it's time to go home." Merlin fell silent, hands falling by his sides and gave him a bewildered look and looked like he was about to say something but Arthur didn’t want to hear that. He grabbed him by the upper arm and dragged along.
And if he was a bit rough with Merlin then it nobody else’s fault but Merlin's own. And if Arthur didn't sleep that night, driven by his frustration and anger and furious wanking that gave him no satisfaction, then it no one's fault but Merlin's as well.
-
“Can I sit here?” Merlin was hovering nervously by Arthur’s table in the library on Monday. Arthur looked up from his text-book slightly startled. He hadn’t expected to see him, at least not today. After everything had sort of gone to shite on Saturday, he thought Merlin was most probably going to avoid to him. Apparently, it wasn’t the case.
“Yeah.” He tried to smile, but it must’ve come out more of a grimace than anything else judging from the way Merlin hesitated before sliding in the chair.
“So, uh, great party, right?” It was hard to tell how much he remembered or had been told, but, apparently, it had been enough to make this conversation awkward already.
“We all got pretty smashed if that’s what you meant then yes.” Arthur looked in his notebook, a pen in his right hand, yet not able to concentrate on anything beyond Merlin.
“Right.”
Arthur fidgeted in his seat for several moments until he remembered something he thought passed for a valid topic. “I returned the books yesterday, but you weren’t around.”
“Ah, I noticed.”
“Thanks. About the books, I mean.”
“No problem.” Several beats of awkward silence, and then, “What are you studying?”
“Economics. I’ve a pretty big test on Wednesday.” Arthur shrugged, looked somewhere over Merlin’s shoulder.
“Uh,” Merlin grunted, looking down at his clasped hands, resting on the table.
“Economics are pretty great.” If you don’t study them, he didn’t add, though it must’ve been obvious, judging by the answer Merlin gave.
“I don’t think you believe what you just said yourself.”
“Why would you think that?” Arthur didn’t mean sound as aggressive as he did. This conversation was really not going in the right direction.
“I just -” Merlin leaned back in the chair, defensive and unsure all of sudden.
Arthur felt like an idiot. “Yeah, you’re right.”
Merlin frowned like trying to figure out what he meant and then uttered a simple, “Oh.”
Arthur glanced down at his note-book, mind full of ways how to deal with the metaphorical elephant in the room and stop this ridiculous situation, but then he was distracted by the sound of the library door closing. He looked up and his expression darkened. Gwaine was heading their way.
Merlin hadn’t noticed him so Arthur felt the need to inform him. “Here’s your cheerful boyfriend coming this way.”
“He’s not my-” Merlin didn’t get the chance to finish the sentence, though, as Gwaine was already there, hands in his pockets.
“Hi, Merlin,” said Gwaine, “thought I’d see you here. How about a movie tonight?”
Gwaine grinned, though acted as if Arthur was an empty space. Arthur raised an eyebrow, unimpressed and slightly annoyed.
And Merlin agreed, hesitantly at first, glancing back at Arthur as if he was asking for permission or something, but when Arthur pointedly looked away, he stood up with finality in his action that didn’t sit well with Arthur.
“That’s an excellent idea. Let’s go, ok?”
“Okay.”
And Arthur was left alone, sulky and with a distant feeling that he had been acting like a jerk. Not that it was a surprise.
-
The next day Arthur glared at Gwaine whenever he saw him (on the principle alone that he was with Merlin), which turned out to be often. So, by the end of the day his eyes hurt from all the glaring they did. Not that it helped the matters in any way, especially when Merlin was with Gwaine - laughing, eating and such. For all it looked like they had gotten together after all.
He avoided Merlin at all cost even when they were a few feet away from each other in the cafeteria, at which point Lance started to give him a funny look. Arthur ignored that as well. He had gotten fairly good at ignoring over the night - okay, it didn’t help when Lance started to question to him in front of the rest of friends, but whatever.
And in the end he went a whole day without even sparing a glance at Merlin. Maybe he was being unfair and jealous but that was only his problem. And he had to fix it himself. He had heard that punching and screaming helped. He’d have to try it out - Gwaine would do nicely. As the punching bag, he meant.
-
Arthur was eating his lunch, sitting alone at the table in cafeteria when Gwen showed up, slid into the seat opposite him, fixed him with a disapproving look and put a piece of paper on the table, saying only, “Read it.”
Arthur frowned, though picked the note up anyway. It read - Whatever I did, I’m sorry. Forgive me.
The handwriting looked a lot like Merlin’s; it would also explain why it was a note. Arthur kind of had been ignoring him for the past days ever since that awkward conversation.
“Okay, you fix whatever you did because I can handle only so much of moping Merlin around my dorm room, yeah?” She was about to stand up but Arthur wasn’t done. He had to - okay, he wasn’t sure what, but he couldn’t allow Merlin think that he was guilty of something, even though he sort of was. In Arthur’s head at least where everything lately was Merlin’s fault.
Arthur put a hand atop hers in haste without even realizing until he felt her wriggle it. “Oops, just wait - I’ll write an answer.”
There’s nothing to be sorry about.
And the next day Gwen dropped another note - Talk to me, then.
I’m really busy.
Fine. But you’re a jerk, just so you know.
-
On a sunny Thursday’s evening Arthur stood in front of a second-hand bookshop. Elegant yellow letters on the front window claimed to have old editions and valuable scripts inside.
So, he had come to the conclusion that he had been - still was, in fact - a jerk and maybe he should make up to Merlin about, you know, being one towards him the past days. Or something and he might have found a way.
He took a deep breath and pushed the door open.
-
“I found the book lying on my table yesterday,” Merlin’s voice carried to Arthur’s room from the hallway, two pairs of footsteps fast approaching, and Arthur stopped typing and held his breath.
“But that’s amazing. You had wanted to get it for a long time.” It was Lancelot and they were even closer to the door to his room.
Arthur was sitting by his desk, his laptop open in front of him when Lance came in accompanied by Merlin. Upon seeing the other man, a surge of want went through Arthur, leaving him no less surprised by the intensity than any other time.
“I know but I don’t know who sent it. There was only a short note left behind.” Merlin shrugged, concentrating only on Lancelot, barely sparing a glance at Arthur.
“Maybe it was Gwaine?” Lance supplied helpfully.
“I’m not sure. Though, I could ask him about it later.” Merlin walked up to Lance’s bed and sat on the side of it. Now only Arthur’s back was facing him, so he didn’t notice how Arthur’s fingers clenched into fisted above the keyboard. “I really wish I could thank that person in person.”
Arthur opened his mouth, heart beating wildly. This was the moment of truth. He could easily admit the truth, tell that he was a jerk and that he was nothing against Merlin being with Gwaine.
“Hey, Arthur had you seen my cell phone lying around?” Lancelot asked all of sudden.
The question startled Arthur. “No... Are you sure you didn’t forget it somewhere public again?”
“Maybe, I ran into Gwaine earlier. He had an interesting story to tell me today about a certain -”
It was enough of Gwaine for Arthur today.
He stood up, the chair making a loud sound as it dragged against the floor. “Whatever. I’ll head out so you two can catch up, talk about Gwaine or whatever you do. I don’t have to hear it.”
It was oddly silent after that. He couldn’t leave fast enough.
-
Moody wasn’t a word Arthur used to describe himself, at least not usually, but, you know, seeing how the things progressed he might as well could - okay, it was the only word he found fitting at the moment. Because the rollercoaster of emotions he had shown - jealousy, frustration, desire, anger - during the past days had been anything but collected and consistent.
He was deep in his thoughts about the ways he could improve things in one way or another, because this was fucking with his head, even though all had started to innocently - okay, not really. It was his jealousy that had made him dash to Merlin and drag him back to his dorm room, and - when he was pulled into an empty classroom by none other than Merlin. Judging by his expression he was not pleased with Arthur.
Arthur crossed his arms and scowled. “What do you want? I don’t have time.”
“You have. A lot, in fact. I checked and double checked just to be sure.”
Arthur raised an eyebrow, trying very hard to appear cool and unaffected by what Merlin’s presence was doing to him, bringing every conflicting thought to the surface - his desire and frustration.
“It doesn’t mean I want to be trapped here in my free time.”
Merlin sighed, resigned to the fact. “I get that. First, though, I want you answer to a question. Why?”
Arthur played dumb to buy time to think of a reasonable lie. “What why?”
“Why you don’t want to talk to me anymore, yet you send me a book, which you knew I really wanted.”
Arthur’s eyes widened and he couldn’t come up with a proper reply to it, which wouldn’t lead to admitting his feelings in one way or another, “It’s - you know about that?”
“Of course, you fool. I’d love to hear explanations, though, or I walk.”
Arthur stubbornly looked away, not saying anything. Merlin sighed and walked towards the door. “Suit yourself then.”
“You’re with Gwaine,” Arthur forced put through gritted teeth like it explained everything. In a way, it did explain everything. Merlin only looked more confused, though.
“I’m not with Gwaine. Does it even have anything to do with anything?” Merlin frowned, a hand on the doorknob.
“You definitely are. He said so himself.” Arthur raised an eyebrow, slightly disbelieving.
Merlin looked at him like he was weird. “I’m definitely not. When he even said so?”
“At the party.”
“That must have been why he was so smug the next day,” Merlin murmured the first part mostly to himself. “The thing is - he lied.”
“Why’d he do such thing?” That made no sense. No sense at all.
“He’s an idiot?” Merlin offered lamely, his fingers worrying the hem of his shirt nervously. Arthur raised an eyebrow at that, unconvinced. “Okay, I’m repeating there’s nothing between me and Gwaine. End of story.”
“I saw. There is.” Arthur was going to stick with his truth no matter how stupid it was, because Merlin didn’t want him in the first place
“Was not.”
“Are we going to argue about this?”
“Definitely, until you realize - I’m telling the truth because I can’t be with Gwaine when I’ve the biggest of crushes on you.” Merlin’s eyes widened and right hand immediately flew up to cover his mouth. Arthur stared at him. “Oops, I didn’t mean to say that, though that’s the truth.”
“Then why did he say -” Arthur made a vague hand gesture unable to finish the sentence. Merlin understood anyway.
“He knew how desperate I was for you and it must have been his way of matchmaking or something.”
It was - then it meant - ohmygod, he had a chance at relationship with Merlin. Arthur grinned and uncrossed his arms, taking a step closer.
“I was jealous, okay? Really jealous.”
Merlin glanced at Arthur, a hesitant but hopeful smile tugging his lips upwards. “Oh. Then it means -”
Arthur put his arm around Merlin’s waist and pulled him close, his eyes fixed on Merlin’s full lips. “It means it’s time to forget this awful week and for you to give me a kiss that’damghtp-”
The kiss started tentative, a brief lick of tongue along Arthur’s lower lip, but then it turned passionate. He had kissed a fair share of boys, yes, but Arthur had never been kissed so sensually, so thoroughly, like he’d melt from a kiss alone.
“Let’s move this to somewhere more private,” Merlin suggested after they broke the kiss.
“Mmm, yes,” Arthur murmured against Merlin’s neck.
the end.
Rating: PG-13
Pairings: Merlin/Arthur, implied Merlin/Gwaine
Word Count: 4,509
Warnings: none.
Disclaimer: The characters depicted herein belong to Shine and BBC. I make no profit from this endeavor.
Summary: In which Arthur is jealous and gets pretty good at ignoring Merlin.
Author's Notes: Thank you to my beta gracious_anne. Written for fierysunrise @ glomp_fest exchange.
Arthur lied on his bed, staring at the ceiling, idly wondering whenever to get up or not. It was a Saturday morning, there nowhere he had to be, nobody to see right away and he relished the unhurried pace at which he could do things.
Just as he was about to sit up there was a knock on the door. He propped himself up in his elbows and said, “Come in.”
It was Merlin, holding a pile of papers and a book, and Arthur’s features immediately brightened like someone had switched the light on, which on itself was sort of a ridiculous thought. He tried to hide it behind a scowl, though, but failed miserably. Merlin was just - okay, he was different, in a good way, and hard to be angry, annoyed at.
“I bought you these,” Merlin held up the pile, showing them like some sort of treasures to Arthur. “You said that you had troubles with the assignment about Ancient Art, so I dag a bit and found this. I’d be really happy if you could bring it back by the end of the next week, okay?”
At this point Arthur was certain that Merlin was blushing, put under his scrutiny, though he had turned away, carefully putting the pile on his desk, in between piles of books, laptop and other things.
“Oh - okay, thanks.” Arthur was caught by surprise - okay, they sort of talked a lot, turned up at the same places (a lot of thanks go to Lance, though), but this was new. Not unwelcomed, of course. “What’s with the top hat, though?”
“That.” Merlin absently touched it with his fingers and grinned. “It was Gwen’s idea.” He shrugged, leaning against the table.
“Which -” Arthur gestured with his hand for Merlin to explain more.
“Would explain a lot if you knew that Gwen liked dress-up and she always managed to drag me into these things -so, top hat for today.”
“And long colourful dress for tomorrow.” Arthur teased. “You know, it looks sort of ridiculous.”
“Shut up. I’ve been told I look good.”
“They may have hit their head against hard surfaces too many times to say that.”
“Prat.” Merlin laughed, head tipped back, exposing his neck for Arthur to ogle the fine expanse of skin. He barely managed to look away, heart in his throat, when Merlin straightened up, glanced his way and gestured at the door. “I gotta go, though. Unlike you I have a whole lot to do before the evening.”
And only then Arthur remembered - the party. He really hoped to see Merlin there but he usually didn’t go to parties and he wasn’t sure if he was good enough reason for him to turn up. He asked anyway.
“Will you be at the party?”
Merlin turned to him, one hand on the knob and shrugged. “You know, not my kind of scene.”
“Oh come on, be there.”
“I’ll think about it. I still have a whole week.”
It already counted as a success in Arthur’s head, because the answer always had been definite no as far he knew.
-
The next time Arthur saw Merlin was on Tuesday, during his soccer practice. The first thing Arthur, noticed about him, though, was the hideous flowery shirt he wore (most probably because of Gwen but that was besides the point), and Arthur burst out laughing at the sight, which earned him a few weird looks from his teammates.
He excused himself shortly after and sprinted up to Merlin who waved at seeing him approach.
“What’s with the shirt?” Arthur asked, shortly followed by, “What are you doing here, exactly?” Since as far Arthur knew none of his friends played in the team, beside him, that is. Oh.
“I re-watched Romeo and Juliet with Gwen.” Arthur raised an eyebrow. Merlin sighed in a dramatic manner and Arthur fought back a retort. “Right. In that movie Romeo wore flowery shirts.”
“Seriously? Had he no style at all?” Arthur thought the whole topic was ridiculous.
“Those were nineties.”
“Whatever. So...” At Arthur’s imploring face expression Merlin seemed to catch up with the question he didn’t answer in the first place.
Merlin shrugged, a crooked smile on his lips. “I came to cheer you on.”
Arthur fought back a wide grin, his eyes following the way the sunshine played in Merlin’s brown hair. “But it’s just a practice,” it came out sounding wrong like he wanted him to leave.
“Should I not be here, then?”Merlin gestured in the general direction of the main building, slightly unsure, eyes quite not meeting Arthur’s.
“I didn’t say that. But didn’t you have to be... doing whatever it is you do after lessons?” Arthur almost slipped the name of the club Merlin lead; he wasn’t supposed to know since he made such a big deal about it not being worth remembering the last time.
“It’s Ancient Literature club.”
“Obviously. Ancient, yes. As if we don’t have enough ancient books in the library.”
“They are really valuable. And, no, obviously I don’t have to be there if I’m here.”
Which, yes, made sense, a lot of sense actually. Arthur rolled his eyes, though. Merlin’s shirt was still hideous and stupid, which, though, didn’t lessen his desire to rip it off him, in fact, it heightened the wish tenfold. Because, yeah, how could you not? Wish to rip the shirt off, he meant.
“It only indicates that you don’t care about it as much as you claim to.”
“In fact, I do, prat.” Even then Merlin glanced at the cell phone in his hand as if waiting for a call. Arthur had noticed it earlier, but now as he was starting to find it annoying, he decided to ask about it.
“Why are you toying with the phone?”
“I’m waiting a call from a bookshop. They said they might get a really old edition of Shakespeare’s Othello, only they didn’t know whenever the previous owner will sell it.” Merlin sounded really excited about the book. Personally Arthur didn’t know what the big deal was.
“If you say so -”
His coach’s booming voice interrupted him mid-sentence, “Pendragon, on the pitch, right this instant!”
Arthur winced. He really didn’t like the guy some of the days like, for instance, today. “I’ve to run.”
“Have fun kicking the ball around the pitch,” Merlin shouted after him, half-laughing.
-
Arthur arrived around 11pm with a six-pack and snacks. By that time most of the people had arrived, judging by the large crowd inside the house. At the entrance he met with Lance, who greeted him and pointed at kitchen where he’d put his drinks. Arthur smiled, nodded and pushed through the crowd, the music blasting from the stereos and everyone was steadily getting drunk.
By the refrigerator Arthur bumped into Merlin who was leaning against the counter, looking slightly out of place in his black jeans and large sweater. Arthur broke out into a grin without even realizing when he saw that it was Merlin, and it was kind of pathetic, if you think about it.
“Hi, it’s great to see you here... Want a beer?” Arthur lifted his six-pack, amused smiled tugging on his lips.
Merlin shook his head. “Nah, maybe later, but thanks. I’ve my own.”Merlin gestured in the vague direction of the table where the most of the drinks and snacks were kept - okay, what was left of them by this point. Looked like they had started early.
Arthur raised his eyebrows in amusement. “Who would’ve thought that?” He mused.
Merlin looked at him like he was weird. “What? I know how to buy beer.”
“I don’t doubt that. Though, I remember the last time you got drunk.”
“Yeah, well, me too and I wasn’t the only one.” Merlin looked pointedly at Arthur.
“I can handle my drink.” Which, okay, was sort of lie.
“I’m sure of that. Apparently, you dance just as well... on the table.” By this point Merlin had hard time trying to hide the laugh that was trying to escape. Arthur glared at him to show that he was annoyed, but he didn’t think he pulled it off with the grin tugging his lips upwards at seeing Merlin so happy.
“Shut up. It was just that one time. The hangover was a bitch the next morning. Definitely not worth it.”
“Oh, I remember you bitching about it, loudly.”
In answer Arthur swatted Merlin’s arm playfully and Merlin grinned. Arthur moved to lean against the counter, so close their thighs touched. But the moment pasted and Arthur was dragged away without any explanation by very excited Lancelot. He ended up drinking far less than he wanted to, listening to his friends’ drunken slurring and dancing awkwardly with girls and boys alike.
A few hours (or what felt like few hours) later Arthur caught a sight of Merlin standing somewhere on the side of the living room with somebody. His feet carried him towards Merlin, without thinking, as if gravity was pulling him. He froze, though as few steps away from Merlin upon noticing his companion.
Gwaine.
And then Arthur noticed Gwaine flirting openly with Merlin who answered in kind, grinning from ear to ear, a bottle of beer in his hand. And just as Merlin swayed and laughed, leaning towards Gwaine, Arthur understood two things - Merlin was really drunk and it wasn’t a good sign.
He had seen him drunk, oh yes, and he was affectionate, cheerful and touchy-feely - okay, Arthur didn’t mind, and he knew Gwaine wouldn’t either but he would possibly take advantage of Merlin. Not that Arthur knew but Gwaine had been practically undressing Merlin with his eyes the whole time. It didn’t sit well with Arthur. He liked to think that Merlin was his, it was a selfish thought, he was aware, but sometimes it slipped his mind that really Merlin could be interested in whoever he wanted. Yet, Arthur pushed through the crowd right now to get to him.
“C’mere, Merlin. We’re going home.”
“A’thu’,” Merlin slurred, still grinning from ear to ear, his free hand now resting on his upper arm, the warmth soaking through Arthur’s thin layer of clothes.
At first Gwaine looked bewildered, glancing between Arthur and Merlin, but then he took a step forwards and blocked their way out. “Hey, mate, I don’t think he wants to go anywhere so fast.”
“And who are you to him to decide that?”
“His date,” Gwaine announced proudly and it felt like a cold bucket of water had been spilled over Arthur’s head. How he could’ve missed? No, more to the point, how he could’ve not known in the first place?
“That’s ridiculous. I would know that if you two had a date.”
“It may have slipped his mind. You know, it happens.” Gwaine shrugged, a slight smile creeping on his lips.
“Not to him,” Arthur said confidently.
“Hey, no a’guing okey?” Merlin slurred, sort of waving at them happily. Arthur was unimpressed and hurt that, apparently, Merlin didn’t trust him with such information. So, he hadn’t been the reason at all. That thought didn’t improve his mood in any way.
“You’re wasted, mate,” Gwaine took the bottle from Merlin’s loose fingers. “Why don’t we sit down?”
“No, no sitting. We’re leaving.” Arthur tugged on Merlin’s sweater.
“No, I don’t think so.”
“You’ve no say in this.”
“But I’m his -”
“I know. You can call him tomorrow when he’s sober and do whatever.” Arthur had had enough of him.
“Hey, tell him he owes me a lot of kisses.” Gwaine shouted after him. Arthur ignored him completely, pulling Merlin towards the entrance. He didn't get far, though. Merlin pressed closer, his hands roaming around Arthur's body and - oh, slipping under his black t-shirt.
Arthur froze and to his embarrassment his dick stirred in his pants, liking the attention given to his body. Arthur moved backwards but Merlin followed, though, until Arthur's back hit the living room’s wall.
Merlin was now pressed against him from neck to knees (mouth close to Arthur’s neck), warm and willing but Arthur simply couldn't take advantage of him when he was in such state, no matter how willing he was. Knowing Merlin, the next day he'd definitely regret it and tell that it was the reason he usually didn't drink or went to parties, or something along the lines. Arthur would only be left with knowledge of Merlin's lips on his, ruined chance and indescribable yearning. Which, yeah, would pretty much suck big time.
That thought didn't stop his body from responding, placing him in an awkward situation to which Merlin was completely obvious at the moment, busy - ohgoddon'tstop - busy kissing along his neck and rubbing against his body in a way Arthur found irresistible and adorable. But he had to stop this right now. Really, right the fuck now. Merlin had a date and he wouldn’t be happy to find out that he had practically molested Arthur while drunk. It didn’t matter that Arthur wanted Merlin so much it hurt.
"Hey, Merlin, mate, you're drunk, let's get you out of here." He put his hands on Merlin's shoulders, intent to push him away but Merlin lifted his heavy lidded eyes, a goofy smile on his lips and Arthur felt his will crumble around the edges.
He probably would've given if not for the next words that passed Merlin's lips, more a murmur of words told close to his ears than anything else, "Gwaine, I mean - want one taste of this gorgeous body, it would be enough... I think."
He sounded oddly wistful. Arthur thought he had no reason to, he just practically announced that he wanted a one night stand with Gwaine - wait, he didn’t know it was him and it meant - fuck. Arthur pushed Merlin away from him.
"Okay, enough, it's time to go home." Merlin fell silent, hands falling by his sides and gave him a bewildered look and looked like he was about to say something but Arthur didn’t want to hear that. He grabbed him by the upper arm and dragged along.
And if he was a bit rough with Merlin then it nobody else’s fault but Merlin's own. And if Arthur didn't sleep that night, driven by his frustration and anger and furious wanking that gave him no satisfaction, then it no one's fault but Merlin's as well.
-
“Can I sit here?” Merlin was hovering nervously by Arthur’s table in the library on Monday. Arthur looked up from his text-book slightly startled. He hadn’t expected to see him, at least not today. After everything had sort of gone to shite on Saturday, he thought Merlin was most probably going to avoid to him. Apparently, it wasn’t the case.
“Yeah.” He tried to smile, but it must’ve come out more of a grimace than anything else judging from the way Merlin hesitated before sliding in the chair.
“So, uh, great party, right?” It was hard to tell how much he remembered or had been told, but, apparently, it had been enough to make this conversation awkward already.
“We all got pretty smashed if that’s what you meant then yes.” Arthur looked in his notebook, a pen in his right hand, yet not able to concentrate on anything beyond Merlin.
“Right.”
Arthur fidgeted in his seat for several moments until he remembered something he thought passed for a valid topic. “I returned the books yesterday, but you weren’t around.”
“Ah, I noticed.”
“Thanks. About the books, I mean.”
“No problem.” Several beats of awkward silence, and then, “What are you studying?”
“Economics. I’ve a pretty big test on Wednesday.” Arthur shrugged, looked somewhere over Merlin’s shoulder.
“Uh,” Merlin grunted, looking down at his clasped hands, resting on the table.
“Economics are pretty great.” If you don’t study them, he didn’t add, though it must’ve been obvious, judging by the answer Merlin gave.
“I don’t think you believe what you just said yourself.”
“Why would you think that?” Arthur didn’t mean sound as aggressive as he did. This conversation was really not going in the right direction.
“I just -” Merlin leaned back in the chair, defensive and unsure all of sudden.
Arthur felt like an idiot. “Yeah, you’re right.”
Merlin frowned like trying to figure out what he meant and then uttered a simple, “Oh.”
Arthur glanced down at his note-book, mind full of ways how to deal with the metaphorical elephant in the room and stop this ridiculous situation, but then he was distracted by the sound of the library door closing. He looked up and his expression darkened. Gwaine was heading their way.
Merlin hadn’t noticed him so Arthur felt the need to inform him. “Here’s your cheerful boyfriend coming this way.”
“He’s not my-” Merlin didn’t get the chance to finish the sentence, though, as Gwaine was already there, hands in his pockets.
“Hi, Merlin,” said Gwaine, “thought I’d see you here. How about a movie tonight?”
Gwaine grinned, though acted as if Arthur was an empty space. Arthur raised an eyebrow, unimpressed and slightly annoyed.
And Merlin agreed, hesitantly at first, glancing back at Arthur as if he was asking for permission or something, but when Arthur pointedly looked away, he stood up with finality in his action that didn’t sit well with Arthur.
“That’s an excellent idea. Let’s go, ok?”
“Okay.”
And Arthur was left alone, sulky and with a distant feeling that he had been acting like a jerk. Not that it was a surprise.
-
The next day Arthur glared at Gwaine whenever he saw him (on the principle alone that he was with Merlin), which turned out to be often. So, by the end of the day his eyes hurt from all the glaring they did. Not that it helped the matters in any way, especially when Merlin was with Gwaine - laughing, eating and such. For all it looked like they had gotten together after all.
He avoided Merlin at all cost even when they were a few feet away from each other in the cafeteria, at which point Lance started to give him a funny look. Arthur ignored that as well. He had gotten fairly good at ignoring over the night - okay, it didn’t help when Lance started to question to him in front of the rest of friends, but whatever.
And in the end he went a whole day without even sparing a glance at Merlin. Maybe he was being unfair and jealous but that was only his problem. And he had to fix it himself. He had heard that punching and screaming helped. He’d have to try it out - Gwaine would do nicely. As the punching bag, he meant.
-
Arthur was eating his lunch, sitting alone at the table in cafeteria when Gwen showed up, slid into the seat opposite him, fixed him with a disapproving look and put a piece of paper on the table, saying only, “Read it.”
Arthur frowned, though picked the note up anyway. It read - Whatever I did, I’m sorry. Forgive me.
The handwriting looked a lot like Merlin’s; it would also explain why it was a note. Arthur kind of had been ignoring him for the past days ever since that awkward conversation.
“Okay, you fix whatever you did because I can handle only so much of moping Merlin around my dorm room, yeah?” She was about to stand up but Arthur wasn’t done. He had to - okay, he wasn’t sure what, but he couldn’t allow Merlin think that he was guilty of something, even though he sort of was. In Arthur’s head at least where everything lately was Merlin’s fault.
Arthur put a hand atop hers in haste without even realizing until he felt her wriggle it. “Oops, just wait - I’ll write an answer.”
There’s nothing to be sorry about.
And the next day Gwen dropped another note - Talk to me, then.
I’m really busy.
Fine. But you’re a jerk, just so you know.
-
On a sunny Thursday’s evening Arthur stood in front of a second-hand bookshop. Elegant yellow letters on the front window claimed to have old editions and valuable scripts inside.
So, he had come to the conclusion that he had been - still was, in fact - a jerk and maybe he should make up to Merlin about, you know, being one towards him the past days. Or something and he might have found a way.
He took a deep breath and pushed the door open.
-
“I found the book lying on my table yesterday,” Merlin’s voice carried to Arthur’s room from the hallway, two pairs of footsteps fast approaching, and Arthur stopped typing and held his breath.
“But that’s amazing. You had wanted to get it for a long time.” It was Lancelot and they were even closer to the door to his room.
Arthur was sitting by his desk, his laptop open in front of him when Lance came in accompanied by Merlin. Upon seeing the other man, a surge of want went through Arthur, leaving him no less surprised by the intensity than any other time.
“I know but I don’t know who sent it. There was only a short note left behind.” Merlin shrugged, concentrating only on Lancelot, barely sparing a glance at Arthur.
“Maybe it was Gwaine?” Lance supplied helpfully.
“I’m not sure. Though, I could ask him about it later.” Merlin walked up to Lance’s bed and sat on the side of it. Now only Arthur’s back was facing him, so he didn’t notice how Arthur’s fingers clenched into fisted above the keyboard. “I really wish I could thank that person in person.”
Arthur opened his mouth, heart beating wildly. This was the moment of truth. He could easily admit the truth, tell that he was a jerk and that he was nothing against Merlin being with Gwaine.
“Hey, Arthur had you seen my cell phone lying around?” Lancelot asked all of sudden.
The question startled Arthur. “No... Are you sure you didn’t forget it somewhere public again?”
“Maybe, I ran into Gwaine earlier. He had an interesting story to tell me today about a certain -”
It was enough of Gwaine for Arthur today.
He stood up, the chair making a loud sound as it dragged against the floor. “Whatever. I’ll head out so you two can catch up, talk about Gwaine or whatever you do. I don’t have to hear it.”
It was oddly silent after that. He couldn’t leave fast enough.
-
Moody wasn’t a word Arthur used to describe himself, at least not usually, but, you know, seeing how the things progressed he might as well could - okay, it was the only word he found fitting at the moment. Because the rollercoaster of emotions he had shown - jealousy, frustration, desire, anger - during the past days had been anything but collected and consistent.
He was deep in his thoughts about the ways he could improve things in one way or another, because this was fucking with his head, even though all had started to innocently - okay, not really. It was his jealousy that had made him dash to Merlin and drag him back to his dorm room, and - when he was pulled into an empty classroom by none other than Merlin. Judging by his expression he was not pleased with Arthur.
Arthur crossed his arms and scowled. “What do you want? I don’t have time.”
“You have. A lot, in fact. I checked and double checked just to be sure.”
Arthur raised an eyebrow, trying very hard to appear cool and unaffected by what Merlin’s presence was doing to him, bringing every conflicting thought to the surface - his desire and frustration.
“It doesn’t mean I want to be trapped here in my free time.”
Merlin sighed, resigned to the fact. “I get that. First, though, I want you answer to a question. Why?”
Arthur played dumb to buy time to think of a reasonable lie. “What why?”
“Why you don’t want to talk to me anymore, yet you send me a book, which you knew I really wanted.”
Arthur’s eyes widened and he couldn’t come up with a proper reply to it, which wouldn’t lead to admitting his feelings in one way or another, “It’s - you know about that?”
“Of course, you fool. I’d love to hear explanations, though, or I walk.”
Arthur stubbornly looked away, not saying anything. Merlin sighed and walked towards the door. “Suit yourself then.”
“You’re with Gwaine,” Arthur forced put through gritted teeth like it explained everything. In a way, it did explain everything. Merlin only looked more confused, though.
“I’m not with Gwaine. Does it even have anything to do with anything?” Merlin frowned, a hand on the doorknob.
“You definitely are. He said so himself.” Arthur raised an eyebrow, slightly disbelieving.
Merlin looked at him like he was weird. “I’m definitely not. When he even said so?”
“At the party.”
“That must have been why he was so smug the next day,” Merlin murmured the first part mostly to himself. “The thing is - he lied.”
“Why’d he do such thing?” That made no sense. No sense at all.
“He’s an idiot?” Merlin offered lamely, his fingers worrying the hem of his shirt nervously. Arthur raised an eyebrow at that, unconvinced. “Okay, I’m repeating there’s nothing between me and Gwaine. End of story.”
“I saw. There is.” Arthur was going to stick with his truth no matter how stupid it was, because Merlin didn’t want him in the first place
“Was not.”
“Are we going to argue about this?”
“Definitely, until you realize - I’m telling the truth because I can’t be with Gwaine when I’ve the biggest of crushes on you.” Merlin’s eyes widened and right hand immediately flew up to cover his mouth. Arthur stared at him. “Oops, I didn’t mean to say that, though that’s the truth.”
“Then why did he say -” Arthur made a vague hand gesture unable to finish the sentence. Merlin understood anyway.
“He knew how desperate I was for you and it must have been his way of matchmaking or something.”
It was - then it meant - ohmygod, he had a chance at relationship with Merlin. Arthur grinned and uncrossed his arms, taking a step closer.
“I was jealous, okay? Really jealous.”
Merlin glanced at Arthur, a hesitant but hopeful smile tugging his lips upwards. “Oh. Then it means -”
Arthur put his arm around Merlin’s waist and pulled him close, his eyes fixed on Merlin’s full lips. “It means it’s time to forget this awful week and for you to give me a kiss that’damghtp-”
The kiss started tentative, a brief lick of tongue along Arthur’s lower lip, but then it turned passionate. He had kissed a fair share of boys, yes, but Arthur had never been kissed so sensually, so thoroughly, like he’d melt from a kiss alone.
“Let’s move this to somewhere more private,” Merlin suggested after they broke the kiss.
“Mmm, yes,” Arthur murmured against Merlin’s neck.
the end.