(no subject)
I guess I was wrong.
It's been almost a year, 10 months, and I'm still scared of being alone. I can't even sleep alone anymore for Gods sake, Romy sleeps in the bed with me. Why do I always have to have a love interest to text or talk to or think about? Why can't I just go on tour without anyone from home. Realistically, I think the only person I might march with is Day. I've known her for 7 years now... how time flies. I'm so scared to just be indepedent. I do my alone stuff though, but like on a daily basis, its not easy to just be me.
I can't really trust my feelings anymore.
I need to be alone. I need to focus on school, and work, and I should probably practice. I think for the first time in a long time, I thought about being immersed in policy making, and managing, and not color guard. Its an obsession that won't get u anywhere. You'll never be the best, ill never be awesome, and I think I'm ok with that. I'm finally just trying to make the most out of my last year doing this crap, and I'm ready to move onto the real world. Its time to accomplish something with my brain.
Its been a long week, and maybe things happen for a reason. I'm just gonna ride the wave, and be a 21 year old.
It's been almost a year, 10 months, and I'm still scared of being alone. I can't even sleep alone anymore for Gods sake, Romy sleeps in the bed with me. Why do I always have to have a love interest to text or talk to or think about? Why can't I just go on tour without anyone from home. Realistically, I think the only person I might march with is Day. I've known her for 7 years now... how time flies. I'm so scared to just be indepedent. I do my alone stuff though, but like on a daily basis, its not easy to just be me.
I can't really trust my feelings anymore.
I need to be alone. I need to focus on school, and work, and I should probably practice. I think for the first time in a long time, I thought about being immersed in policy making, and managing, and not color guard. Its an obsession that won't get u anywhere. You'll never be the best, ill never be awesome, and I think I'm ok with that. I'm finally just trying to make the most out of my last year doing this crap, and I'm ready to move onto the real world. Its time to accomplish something with my brain.
Its been a long week, and maybe things happen for a reason. I'm just gonna ride the wave, and be a 21 year old.