Things Happen That We Just Can't Explain
I can feel it happening. The distance. The walls. I am setting up barriers so I don't get hurt when I have to leave. I don't want the goodbyes, so i am horrible to people so that they won't make things harder than they already are. Why do we have to have emotional distnace from people before we have to have physical distance? I guess it just lessons the pain.
My mom is doing it too. She is putting up her barriers because she is like me, or rather, I am like her. She is quiet a lot, and won't tell me why. She is unresponsive to me, like she is afraid to get close to the daughter that she is about to have to let go of.
I realized that I haven't seen my friens in awhile. I haven't called them, because that might mean, God forbid, they may want to see me.
I saw my Dad today. We went shopping for clothes for college. I wish I had handled the divorce differently. I should have been there more. I shouldn't have always put off spending the night with him until the next weekend when I was less busy. He has his regrets too, I can tell. Just from the way he acted today when we were shopping. I can't change things now. I can't get close to him now that I am about to move into a new area of my life. He has no reason to regret anything. He did everything right.
I always tried.
My mom is doing it too. She is putting up her barriers because she is like me, or rather, I am like her. She is quiet a lot, and won't tell me why. She is unresponsive to me, like she is afraid to get close to the daughter that she is about to have to let go of.
I realized that I haven't seen my friens in awhile. I haven't called them, because that might mean, God forbid, they may want to see me.
I saw my Dad today. We went shopping for clothes for college. I wish I had handled the divorce differently. I should have been there more. I shouldn't have always put off spending the night with him until the next weekend when I was less busy. He has his regrets too, I can tell. Just from the way he acted today when we were shopping. I can't change things now. I can't get close to him now that I am about to move into a new area of my life. He has no reason to regret anything. He did everything right.
I always tried.