DarkEm: My writing almost never reflects my true mind. Though lately I've become a bit more transparent. It's taken me 55 years to get there.
Ravurian: hmm. do you not say things because you don't think them, or because you think no one will care, or because you're afraid of upsetting people, or...?
DarkEm: I think all of those reasons apply, variously. It's almost impossible for me to tell how much of it is the first reason, and how much the others. That is, I'm trained to keep things out of my conscious thought that I fear will upset or bore people. All writing exercises designed to break that barrier seem to fail with me. Maybe that's changed. I should retry.
Ravurian: yeah. try a post a day for a month. just anything and everything that comes into your head. i should start that up again, too
DarkEm: I might have to lock them to a very limited circle.
Ravurian: that would defeat the object, surely?
DarkEm: Oh, let me describe to you the anxiety that's arising in my mind as I contemplate the prospect. (I won't--that's just a rhetorical device. Suffice it to say that the anxieties are many.)
Ravurian: but what are the consequences of doing it?
DarkEm: Death? I mean, isn't that at the back of all anxiety? Fear of death, or of some consequence that would be deadly? Excommunication, exile, shunning?
Ravurian: ...
. . .
DarkEm: LOL. Yeah.
Ravurian: really?
DarkEm: Well, in a kind of abstract way, yes.
Ravurian: death? for posting what you think? who says it has to be all of what you think? or all of what you think about everything? it's just a post a day about stuff
DarkEm: No! Death by being put outside the city walls. And being put outside the city walls for thinking wrong or saying wrong things. It's indirect. And irrational. I'm just sayin'. That's what comes into my gut when I think about writing a post a day in which my writing transparently expresses my mind.
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