I swear to god, my life is a soap opera.
So, here's the relationship run-down. I have something of a crush on this one guy, his name is Pete. He's in Amtgard, and he's pretty sexilicious. I asked Tom (also in Amtgard, and is also sexilicious but he's taken) if Pete has a girlfriend, and our conversation was as such:
"I'd be surprised if he did."
"Why's that?"
"Well, I shouldn't tell you this, but Jo slept with him last Thursday."
"...oh."
"But you didn't hear it from me, okay? It's one of those things nobody's supposed to know but somehow everyone does."
Now I shouldn't be too surprised, she's addicted to sex (one week she had a new guy every night) and semi-recently broke up with Nate (president of Amtgard, also sexilicious). I couldn't help but feel a little betrayed, even though she didn't really KNOW that I like Pete...
So one day I told her I have a crush on him, and she immediately shook her head and told me I shouldn't even TRY to go out with him. According to her, he's not interested in a relationship. She even casually said she'd slept with him, and I feigned surprise (I could've gotten the lead role in some play with my acting, though I was kinda surprised she'd admit it to me). To be honest, I couldn't help but wonder if she was telling me this so that she could have him herself...
So here's the dilemma. I keep seeing him, and every time I look at him I want to tell him how I feel, but I can't because I don't doubt that he really ISN'T interested in a relationship. Besides, I'm probably not his type... *sigh*
To make things worse, last night I had a dream that Nate told him and he sat down on the floor next to me where I was lying down (it was some kind of slumber-party thing for Amtgarders o_O)... and he told me he liked me too. I felt so happy, and I felt like I belonged somewhere...
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So I'm on these new meds that're supposed to replace my Effexor. I don't know why it took THREE YEARS for someone to realize that "Hey, that antidepressant doesn't work." The seven suicide attempts should've been a hint (well, six that the doctors know about ^^;;;), seriously. But yeah, on this new stuff called Lexipro. It seems to be working, except that now it's like I'm constantly high. Hallucinations, wandering mind, lack of focus, randomness, forgetfullness, hyperactivity... It's so bad that:
A) I couldn't write my essay paper for Poetry because it took me almost an hour to write just a few sentences
B) I forgot what I looked like. Even AFTER I looked in a mirror.
C) I spaced out during English class and missed an instruction to sign up for individual meeting time with the professor. I didn't sign up, so I didn't see him. Apparently, the meeting was supposed to count as our class for Monday... and since I missed 3 classes beforehand, and it takes 4 absenses to fail his class... guess who failed English? And it's not even midterm time. ^____^
SO YEAH! Thanks a lot, Dr. Mesina! I think I was better off with Dr. Bakey, who kept changing his fucking mind and doesn't know basic 10th grade chemistry!
On the bright side, I'm too high to give a shit that life's pretty much sucking right now. Plus, now I don't have to worry about that stupid English paper. Now, to explain this to Mama...
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So Mama got assigned overseas. I'm happy for her because she's happy to be moving up on the political food chain, and she'll be making twice as much money as she does now. Problem is? She's going to Baghdad. That's right, the one in Iraq. So now BOTH my parents are overseas (or will be, since she's leaving in September)... what the hell am I supposed to do over winter break? I can't visit them because I'm not allowed to (too dangerous), I don't want to stay here in Rochester, and I'd rather shoot myself than spend an extended period of time over at Bob & Sue's...
On the bright side, guess who gets the family car. Since Teese is in NYC, she won't have much use for a car- but if she wants it, I don't mind her having it. One less thing for me to worry about. But it'd be nice to be able to drive myself places instead of relying on Carolyn. Plus, now I get to pick the music. Bwahahaha.
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End of drama rant. Continue on with your lives.