Lyrics to a song...
I found your fingerprints
On a glass of wine
Do you know you're leaving them
All over this heart of mine too
But if I never take this leap of faith
I'll never know
So im learning to fall
With no safety net to cushion the blow
-Natasha B.
Music has always been a part of my life, I relate a loved one, a relationship, a specific situation to a song. If you browse through my Ipod and look at the playlists, its not categorized by the genre of songs but of how they make me feel. Currently, I'm listening to different kinds of music which I don't usually listen to. I guess thats how I've always been when I am contemplative, I listen to songs. Hhmm, the music of Natasha Bedingfield resonates in my head. Reminding me of these new subtle feelings springing from a infatuation. The budding feelings of romance you say? Maybe not! How refreshing and yet so melancholy at the same time. Could it be too soon for me? Have I had the time to heal the gaping wounds? I think not, frankly my feelings are mixed with tripadation & enthusiasm that I can't even tell if this emotion is real. I have not gushed over a guy for so long except for the movie stars on screen. Somehow the feelings of anticipation is overshadowed by the fear of knowing that this will eventually be another failed relationship.Which makes me want to just cringe and curl up into a ball, let myself wallow in my loneliness.
Seriously though, I've been acting non-sensical since I started getting attracted to this guy. The problem is we barely talk or converse with each other because I get tongued-tied with him. I'm not the type to get tongued tied about anything, I can be pretty blunt with men I like. So this is unusually uncommon to me and I have no explanation whatsoever why I feel this way about him. Although, from the looks of it, if we can't even carry a decent conversation then I might as well just forget about this infatuation. Although, he is literally leaving marks in my life and I just can't shake the feeling of longingness for him. There is a playlists on my Ipod that is solely for him and I listen to it every morning while rushing to work and also when I get home. He has a pretty eclectic taste for music and its fascinates me to know that while he listens to rock/alternative he also listens to ballads/love songs.
Oh well, every thing is up in the air right now...life of single woman is literally independently awesome. No more fights, no restrictions, no guilt trips and ofcourse no regrets. That may sound a wee bit hypocritical and I'm not gonna deny that I don't miss anything, because I do. I do miss being caressed & made to feel like I'm the only woman alive, but those things seems insignificant now. The promises, the special gestures, the romantic redenzvous, were lost and those feelings seems phony to me now. There are days when I feel like I've just been hit with a ton of bricks and everything must be taken in stride. Like I always say to myself when I'm having a day like that..."Just roolll with the punches sweetie, just roolll with the punches."
Here are some pictures from my cousin's wedding in Plano, Texas
On a glass of wine
Do you know you're leaving them
All over this heart of mine too
But if I never take this leap of faith
I'll never know
So im learning to fall
With no safety net to cushion the blow
-Natasha B.
Music has always been a part of my life, I relate a loved one, a relationship, a specific situation to a song. If you browse through my Ipod and look at the playlists, its not categorized by the genre of songs but of how they make me feel. Currently, I'm listening to different kinds of music which I don't usually listen to. I guess thats how I've always been when I am contemplative, I listen to songs. Hhmm, the music of Natasha Bedingfield resonates in my head. Reminding me of these new subtle feelings springing from a infatuation. The budding feelings of romance you say? Maybe not! How refreshing and yet so melancholy at the same time. Could it be too soon for me? Have I had the time to heal the gaping wounds? I think not, frankly my feelings are mixed with tripadation & enthusiasm that I can't even tell if this emotion is real. I have not gushed over a guy for so long except for the movie stars on screen. Somehow the feelings of anticipation is overshadowed by the fear of knowing that this will eventually be another failed relationship.Which makes me want to just cringe and curl up into a ball, let myself wallow in my loneliness.
Seriously though, I've been acting non-sensical since I started getting attracted to this guy. The problem is we barely talk or converse with each other because I get tongued-tied with him. I'm not the type to get tongued tied about anything, I can be pretty blunt with men I like. So this is unusually uncommon to me and I have no explanation whatsoever why I feel this way about him. Although, from the looks of it, if we can't even carry a decent conversation then I might as well just forget about this infatuation. Although, he is literally leaving marks in my life and I just can't shake the feeling of longingness for him. There is a playlists on my Ipod that is solely for him and I listen to it every morning while rushing to work and also when I get home. He has a pretty eclectic taste for music and its fascinates me to know that while he listens to rock/alternative he also listens to ballads/love songs.
Oh well, every thing is up in the air right now...life of single woman is literally independently awesome. No more fights, no restrictions, no guilt trips and ofcourse no regrets. That may sound a wee bit hypocritical and I'm not gonna deny that I don't miss anything, because I do. I do miss being caressed & made to feel like I'm the only woman alive, but those things seems insignificant now. The promises, the special gestures, the romantic redenzvous, were lost and those feelings seems phony to me now. There are days when I feel like I've just been hit with a ton of bricks and everything must be taken in stride. Like I always say to myself when I'm having a day like that..."Just roolll with the punches sweetie, just roolll with the punches."
Here are some pictures from my cousin's wedding in Plano, Texas