you & whose army?
yesterday i got rescued. getting your stomach pumped is no fun, people.
i can't talk about myself, i don't know how i feel. i'll describe what i'm doing..
i'm sitting at a computer in the library, i am supposed to be doing psychology work because my teacher seems to think that the AP kids in the class can teach themselves the whole biological section in the book, because it's more important for the IB kids to talk about their experiment for the 6,000th day. i fuckin hate IB. i wish it wasn't at our school, most of them are so uppity & pretentious. fuckers, they don't know anything unless it's been taught to them. grr..anyway, i'm sucking on sunflower seeds, thinking about how life almost went on without me again.
i can't be left alone.
going to lunch with sarah after school.
all my lovers were there with me. all my past & future, & we all went to an inlet & rowed boats.. & there was nothing to fear, nothing to doubt.
i wrote this for english class about the song "how to dissapear completely" by radiohead.
"Walking past the River Liffey on my way to work, the sun peeks through a cloud, reflects on the water & flirts with my eyes. Its scent taunts me but time is passing & jobs have to be done.
I work in an office with the same people I graduated from university with, our mothers are friends, I can never get away from them. They know my life & I know theirs, whether I want to or not. My job could be described as monotonous, at best. It is honest work & the money is grand. Fundamentally, everything should be fine.
Surrounded by trite, meaningless chatter, I try to get on with it, hoping to leave early. I hate this chair, I hate this computer, I hate the view of my beautiful river outside. I dream of floating away, of disappearing completely.
But, how? Is it possible, probable?
Later that night, feeling shaky & on edge from a combination of alcohol & emotions, I admire my print of
i can't talk about myself, i don't know how i feel. i'll describe what i'm doing..
i'm sitting at a computer in the library, i am supposed to be doing psychology work because my teacher seems to think that the AP kids in the class can teach themselves the whole biological section in the book, because it's more important for the IB kids to talk about their experiment for the 6,000th day. i fuckin hate IB. i wish it wasn't at our school, most of them are so uppity & pretentious. fuckers, they don't know anything unless it's been taught to them. grr..anyway, i'm sucking on sunflower seeds, thinking about how life almost went on without me again.
i can't be left alone.
going to lunch with sarah after school.
all my lovers were there with me. all my past & future, & we all went to an inlet & rowed boats.. & there was nothing to fear, nothing to doubt.
i wrote this for english class about the song "how to dissapear completely" by radiohead.
"Walking past the River Liffey on my way to work, the sun peeks through a cloud, reflects on the water & flirts with my eyes. Its scent taunts me but time is passing & jobs have to be done.
I work in an office with the same people I graduated from university with, our mothers are friends, I can never get away from them. They know my life & I know theirs, whether I want to or not. My job could be described as monotonous, at best. It is honest work & the money is grand. Fundamentally, everything should be fine.
Surrounded by trite, meaningless chatter, I try to get on with it, hoping to leave early. I hate this chair, I hate this computer, I hate the view of my beautiful river outside. I dream of floating away, of disappearing completely.
But, how? Is it possible, probable?
Later that night, feeling shaky & on edge from a combination of alcohol & emotions, I admire my print of