(no subject)
i went to see my dad yesterday for the first time
he looks odd, and very old in his pyjamas. He was sitting in bed, reading a book about jon snow. He gets on with errol, the man in the bed opposite, which is good I suppose. I felt really bed, cos I went in and hugged him. after, when we were out of the ward, he said to me "I didn't want the other men to see you hugging me, they're on chemo, and can only wave to their kids." At least I could hug him...for now
They dont know what it is and thats whats scary. I dont want to type that word, but if it is i'm very scared. Outside, around people its not like im acting. i genuinely dont think about it, it makes me sad if i do. When mum and i were walking to the car through ruskin park, I couldnt help crying, thinking of him in that dull room, dying to get out. Mum tried to make me stop by saying "dont worry darling, do things you know he wouldnt like, stay uop late.cheer up" but it was SO hard. I really didnt want to be crying in a busy park, but everywhere I looked there were kids playing with their parents or dads playing tennis. i hope he's not in there too much longer.
It sounds terrible, but before, when I hadn't seen him in there, I was secretly a bit relieved he wasnt at home, being waited on by me and mum. but now I just want him to come home, like NOW.
Im sounding melodramatic and i hate that but you know when you dont want to say it out loud?
I hope jennifers ok.
I tried to email the pictures guys, but it didnt work, sorry!
he looks odd, and very old in his pyjamas. He was sitting in bed, reading a book about jon snow. He gets on with errol, the man in the bed opposite, which is good I suppose. I felt really bed, cos I went in and hugged him. after, when we were out of the ward, he said to me "I didn't want the other men to see you hugging me, they're on chemo, and can only wave to their kids." At least I could hug him...for now
They dont know what it is and thats whats scary. I dont want to type that word, but if it is i'm very scared. Outside, around people its not like im acting. i genuinely dont think about it, it makes me sad if i do. When mum and i were walking to the car through ruskin park, I couldnt help crying, thinking of him in that dull room, dying to get out. Mum tried to make me stop by saying "dont worry darling, do things you know he wouldnt like, stay uop late.cheer up" but it was SO hard. I really didnt want to be crying in a busy park, but everywhere I looked there were kids playing with their parents or dads playing tennis. i hope he's not in there too much longer.
It sounds terrible, but before, when I hadn't seen him in there, I was secretly a bit relieved he wasnt at home, being waited on by me and mum. but now I just want him to come home, like NOW.
Im sounding melodramatic and i hate that but you know when you dont want to say it out loud?
I hope jennifers ok.
I tried to email the pictures guys, but it didnt work, sorry!