(no subject)
it's been a long long time. i'm back out of necessity and not necessarily desire. but i need to put myself somewhere. the website was short-lived blissful experience, and something i will HAVE to continue when i can actually afford the software for it. i love designing my own space, posting my own artwork and images.
things have been difficult lately. life feels stagnant and slow. on average three times a week i come home from work and just cry and cry from sheer exhaustion and anger. the things that i get so excited about somehow backfire. i'm too chickenshit to quit but working for that terrible terrible woman is slowly corroding the qualities in me that i used to value. not to mention i've developed pretty significant health problems since i began here. severe panic attacks and stomach pains are just a couple of the issues. although i think that finally looks like it's under control. for a person with a mortal fear and hatred of doctors, having appointments almost every week for the last three months has made me miserable. thank god it looks like that cycle is ending.
something will happen soon, but i have to find the courage to make it.
things have been difficult lately. life feels stagnant and slow. on average three times a week i come home from work and just cry and cry from sheer exhaustion and anger. the things that i get so excited about somehow backfire. i'm too chickenshit to quit but working for that terrible terrible woman is slowly corroding the qualities in me that i used to value. not to mention i've developed pretty significant health problems since i began here. severe panic attacks and stomach pains are just a couple of the issues. although i think that finally looks like it's under control. for a person with a mortal fear and hatred of doctors, having appointments almost every week for the last three months has made me miserable. thank god it looks like that cycle is ending.
something will happen soon, but i have to find the courage to make it.