:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
GO WATCH ROBIN HOOD. NOW.
No, seriously, I mean it. Do not read my review until you've seen the movie. I want you to go see it with all your current thoughts and feelings about the movie, all your hesitance, all your wariness. I want you to go in not expecting to feel about this movie the way I do now.
Guys. Guys.
I have a new second favourite movie of all time. Maybe even favourite movie of all time. I don't know, I need to rewatch both this and Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark a few more times before I can draw a firm conclusion.
THAT WAS THE SINGLE MOST FUN MOVIE I HAVE SEEN IN AN AGE. MAYBE EVEN EVER. GUYS. I CAN'T COMPREHEND THE SHEER AWESOME OF THAT MOVIE.
Everything. Everything. I went in expecting a po-faced, Kingdom of Heaven, deadly serious movie (RIDLEY SCOTT AND RUSSELL CROWE AND THE TRAILERS I LOVE YOU FOR GIVING ME THIS IMPRESSION) that would be terribly pretty if a bit dull with exquisitely executed action scenes.
And for the first ten to twenty or so minutes of the movie, that's more or less what we got; that and the ABSOLUTE UNDYING JOYFUL SHOCK of someone remembering, in a Robin Hood movie, that Richard the Lionheart was a COCKING GREAT DICK OF A BASTARD. With fabulous curls, I should probably add.
And oh, god, the first two action scenes. I think I came about fifty thousand times. The arrows, the gleeful French chef dude going "OMFG GUYS YOU GUYS SERIOUSLY I JUST KILLED THE KING OF ENGLAND :D", Little John helping shove a battering ram up a hill and oh god oh god my hormones just EXPLODED, the arroooooows <3 <3 <3 EVERYTHING OKAY EVERYTHING, Robin and the others in stocks, just, ASDFASDFA GOD.
And then. And then. Marion, oh, Marion, oh Cate Blanchett marry me, she was beautiful and fiesty and fun and hilarious and ASDFASDFASDAFSLDFJAL GOD and when she first walks out in the movie with her bow and I just ASDFJALKSJFLA.
And then we had all the lads sitting around a fireplace and Little John saying "Sing something about a woman. A big woman." and I DIED, I DIED AND WENT TO HEAVEN AND HEAVEN IS HEARING KEVIN DURAND SAYING THAT LINE OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN, and then later, when he's drunk in the tavern and the jokes about "Little John" and "I AM PROPORTIONAL" and and and him looking across at his lady of choice and yelling "I'M GOING TO MAKE YOU SMILE" and asljdfakljdafklasjklafjd just GOD, GOD, KEVIN DURAND IS LIKE A HUMAN TANK AND I WANT HIS TREADS ALL OVER ME.
And there were sheep-shagging jokes and bee bombs and Marion stabbing a would-be rapist in the neck and Marion and Robin's romance being the CUTEST CUTEST BEST THING EVER I CAN'T STOP SMILING NO SERIOUSLY IT HURTS and the over the top ttly srs moments were so over the top ttly srs that they were hilarious and epic and amazing and it just, it just, IT IS SO MUCH FUN, IT WAS SO MUCH FUN I AM STILL SORE, I AM STILL GRINNING, I AM STILL WEEPING WITH LAUGHTER AND JOY.
And and and the sheer, sheer undying gleeful sequel-baiting ridiculous over the top silliness of the ending and JESUS, YOU GUYS, I CAN'T EVEN. I CAN'T. I JUST.
I AM SORE FROM SMILING ABOUT THIS MOVIE. I DON'T THINK I'VE EVER LIKED A MOVIE THAT I'VE SEEN IN THE CINEMA THIS MUCH BEFORE IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. I AM SHAKING WITH HOW MUCH I LOVE THIS MOVIE. I THOUGHT I WOULD CALM DOWN BY MORNING.
I AM WRONG.
Guys, this movie is the best thing to happen to me since I first saw Advent Children and that 90% of the love was born of nostalgia and omg pretty. Robin Hood on the other hand is like - it's like -
There are no words. Serve me with potatoes and an orange sauce, I am done.
No, seriously, I mean it. Do not read my review until you've seen the movie. I want you to go see it with all your current thoughts and feelings about the movie, all your hesitance, all your wariness. I want you to go in not expecting to feel about this movie the way I do now.
Guys. Guys.
I have a new second favourite movie of all time. Maybe even favourite movie of all time. I don't know, I need to rewatch both this and Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark a few more times before I can draw a firm conclusion.
THAT WAS THE SINGLE MOST FUN MOVIE I HAVE SEEN IN AN AGE. MAYBE EVEN EVER. GUYS. I CAN'T COMPREHEND THE SHEER AWESOME OF THAT MOVIE.
Everything. Everything. I went in expecting a po-faced, Kingdom of Heaven, deadly serious movie (RIDLEY SCOTT AND RUSSELL CROWE AND THE TRAILERS I LOVE YOU FOR GIVING ME THIS IMPRESSION) that would be terribly pretty if a bit dull with exquisitely executed action scenes.
And for the first ten to twenty or so minutes of the movie, that's more or less what we got; that and the ABSOLUTE UNDYING JOYFUL SHOCK of someone remembering, in a Robin Hood movie, that Richard the Lionheart was a COCKING GREAT DICK OF A BASTARD. With fabulous curls, I should probably add.
And oh, god, the first two action scenes. I think I came about fifty thousand times. The arrows, the gleeful French chef dude going "OMFG GUYS YOU GUYS SERIOUSLY I JUST KILLED THE KING OF ENGLAND :D", Little John helping shove a battering ram up a hill and oh god oh god my hormones just EXPLODED, the arroooooows <3 <3 <3 EVERYTHING OKAY EVERYTHING, Robin and the others in stocks, just, ASDFASDFA GOD.
And then. And then. Marion, oh, Marion, oh Cate Blanchett marry me, she was beautiful and fiesty and fun and hilarious and ASDFASDFASDAFSLDFJAL GOD and when she first walks out in the movie with her bow and I just ASDFJALKSJFLA.
And then we had all the lads sitting around a fireplace and Little John saying "Sing something about a woman. A big woman." and I DIED, I DIED AND WENT TO HEAVEN AND HEAVEN IS HEARING KEVIN DURAND SAYING THAT LINE OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN, and then later, when he's drunk in the tavern and the jokes about "Little John" and "I AM PROPORTIONAL" and and and him looking across at his lady of choice and yelling "I'M GOING TO MAKE YOU SMILE" and asljdfakljdafklasjklafjd just GOD, GOD, KEVIN DURAND IS LIKE A HUMAN TANK AND I WANT HIS TREADS ALL OVER ME.
And there were sheep-shagging jokes and bee bombs and Marion stabbing a would-be rapist in the neck and Marion and Robin's romance being the CUTEST CUTEST BEST THING EVER I CAN'T STOP SMILING NO SERIOUSLY IT HURTS and the over the top ttly srs moments were so over the top ttly srs that they were hilarious and epic and amazing and it just, it just, IT IS SO MUCH FUN, IT WAS SO MUCH FUN I AM STILL SORE, I AM STILL GRINNING, I AM STILL WEEPING WITH LAUGHTER AND JOY.
And and and the sheer, sheer undying gleeful sequel-baiting ridiculous over the top silliness of the ending and JESUS, YOU GUYS, I CAN'T EVEN. I CAN'T. I JUST.
I AM SORE FROM SMILING ABOUT THIS MOVIE. I DON'T THINK I'VE EVER LIKED A MOVIE THAT I'VE SEEN IN THE CINEMA THIS MUCH BEFORE IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. I AM SHAKING WITH HOW MUCH I LOVE THIS MOVIE. I THOUGHT I WOULD CALM DOWN BY MORNING.
I AM WRONG.
Guys, this movie is the best thing to happen to me since I first saw Advent Children and that 90% of the love was born of nostalgia and omg pretty. Robin Hood on the other hand is like - it's like -
There are no words. Serve me with potatoes and an orange sauce, I am done.