A Time of Portraits
Title: A Time of Portraits
Pairing: Josef/Mick, Josef/Mick/Beth (alluded to)
Rating: low level R
Disclaimer: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Summary: After a drunken night together, Mick is forced to reexamine his relationships with Beth and Josef.
Author's Note: Written for a specific prompt in the smallfandomfest, Beth decides to clue Mick in on who he really wants, the one that's been there for him through it all.
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The first thing Mick noticed was the warmth, decades of waking up in an icebox it felt incongruous -- no frosted breath, no formation of ice crystals on the inside of the Perspex lid, no blue light glowing above him. His mouth tasted of stale liquor and old saliva. He propped himself up one elbow, and blinked back layers of sleep. To the right of him lay Josef, his back turned, and Beth, Beth -
- Was gone now, had been there with them.
Mick found himself being wrenched awake then, snapped back into undead consciousness by a flash of images.
Josef, and him, and Beth, and the three of them, together, hands clutching, bodies writhing, warm from the free flow of pills and alcohol.
“Oh god, no,” Mick sat on the edge of the bed, his head cradled in his hands, trying to ignore the post drug and alcohol haze. They’d gotten drunk, too drunk, and then there were the freshies, several of them, chock full of inhibition shedding goodness.
They’d formed a triangle; Beth kneeling over his face, his mouth on her sex, and Josef, Josef had been fucking him then, hard.
“There’s some of that plastic bag blood in the fridge if you need it,” a voice mumbled groggily from the bed next to him, “courtesy of our friends at the Red Cross”.
Mick was a flurry of activity as he pulled on his jeans, and chased after a pair of stray socks. “I have to go.”
He was out the door then, tripping over shoelaces not yet tied. Last night had been a mistake; he should never have, not like that, not the three of them sharing that way. Things were supposed to be kept separate, his life now, with Beth, and his past, with Josef. They weren’t meant to…
Converge, the three of them, Beth’s legs over his shoulders, her face flushed, and Josef behind him, his hands on Mick’s hips, controlling the pace of their thrusts.
“No.” Mick shook his head as he white knuckled the steering wheel of his car. Last night didn’t happen.
~~~~~~~~~
A week earlier Beth sat in Josef’s office, a paper trail of emotions spread out in front of her.
“You’ve been spying on me?” Josef bristled under his calm exterior.
“Harper’s bought me in on a freelance assignment; they’re doing an exposé, the man behind Kostan Industries. They wanted to know about those charity scams you were caught up in last year.”
“I took care of that,” Josef allowed himself the pleasure of a conceited smile as he recalled dropping the men responsible into the La Brea tar pits.
“I remember. Mick called it a bloodbath,” Beth shifted in her seat a little nervously; she could feel Josef’s gaze boring into her. “He said you were pretty pissed off about it.”
“It brought undue attention on me,” Josef responded matter of face as he began to go through the collection of documents Beth had brought with her, “and now this. Where did you get these?” Josef held up one of the portraits of Mick that he’d sketched for his private collection, more than a decade ago.
“Your safe deposit box, I used a false authorisation document to get round security, plus they had the CCTV footage from when I’d been there before, with you, and Mick.” Breaking into Josef’s private life had been surprisingly easy. Beth watched as Josef scrawled a few hurried notes in a diary then, she was sure at least one of them would read something along the lines of, ‘Kill safe deposit box manager at ten, take suit to dry cleaner’s at eleven’.
“Remind me to do a security upgrade,” Josef drew the line of his mouth into an unimpressed smile as he set the pictures aside, and began to go through the pile of financial records.
“You’re leaving everything to him; if something ever happens to you then Mick gets your entire fortune,” Beth never thought she’d be discussing this stuff with Josef, not when it was about Mick at least, she’d buried herself in work until she’d gotten up the courage to approach him. “And here,” Beth pointed to an itemised list of expenses, “the amount of money you spend on Mick, it’s phenomenal. I had no idea.”
“Well obviously,” Josef shot back without missing a beat. “That’s kind of the point of having a private life; it’s supposed to remain private, at least until ambitious blonde journalist types start poking their noses in where they don’t belong.” It was the closest thing to a threat Beth had gotten so far.
“Would you have preferred someone else do the digging? Considering what they may have found out?” Beth stood her ground, determined to get some answers. “Those sketches, your financial records, tell me what’s going on?”
Josef wouldn’t budge. “What’s going on is I have a friend I happen to care very deeply about,” he replied in carefully measured tones.
“But there’s more to it than that, isn’t there?”
Beth’s words hung between them in the ensuing quietude. Josef seemed to be changing the subject as he broke the awkward silence.
“Did Mick ever tell you why he took all those photos of you as a child?”
“We never really talked about it, I assumed it had something to do with him protecting me,” Beth replied.
“You know for a vampire who was born in the age of photography it could be pretty disconcerting to find yourself suddenly erased from the photographic record altogether,” Josef leant forward, his gaze focused on Beth. “You existed; your image could be captured on film, Mick thought that existence shone through in those photos. He fed off it, the image of your mortality; he used to say it confirmed his own existence.”
“And when that didn’t work?”
Josef gestured towards the sketches he’d made of Mick. “Let’s just say it was my way of keeping Mick in the photographic record. Well, sort of. And yeah, if anything happens to me, Mick will be well taken care of. He’s been a good friend to me over the years, a heck of a lot more loyal than some others have been.”
Beth took one of the portraits from the desk, and studied the artwork. There was an intimacy to the way Josef had drawn each line, it was good, more than good --“Where did you learn to draw like this?”
“The renaissance,” Josef gave an unaffected shrug, as if it didn’t matter. He wasn’t prepared for Beth’s next question.
“You love him, don’t you? Mick, I mean.”
“I try not to.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
Josef had been quick off the mark, now he took a moment to settle.
“Maybe I did once, but I got over it,” Josef rounded the desk, and gestured politely towards his office door, indicating their meeting was over. He leant in the doorway, his weight shifted to one hip as he waited for Beth to gather her things. “You know I’m not the person you’re looking for, I’m not a threat to you and Mick.”
Beth gave a cryptic smile as she prepared to leave.
“Maybe it’s not me and Mick I’m worried about.”
~~~~~~~~~
Three days passed, three days in which Mick refused to take Josef’s calls. Josef sat on Mick’s couch now, glowering with all indignation he could muster.
“You know it’s not like we’ve never had sex before, Mick.”
“Yes, exactly,” Mick paced the floor, punctuating his words with frustrated hand gestures, “We have, we, not us.”
“I didn’t exactly hear Beth complaining,” Josef stretched out his legs, and rested his feet on the coffee table in front of him, ankles crossed in a nonchalant pose. “Come to think of it I didn’t hear you complaining much either.”
“I was drunk,” Mick shot back defensively.
“We all were, Mick,” Josef offered Mick a patronising smile, “some of us more than others.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Arms folded across his chest, Mick confronted Josef directly then.
Josef shrugged, “It means you keep yourself wound so tight it’s no surprise the lid bursts off every now and then.”
“Yeah, well, that still doesn’t mean I wanted Beth to see that side of me, Josef, “glancing away briefly, Mick pursed his lips, and gave a huff of annoyance. And then he was lowering his voice, the following words barely audible, “not with you.”
Josef gave an arched brow grin, and chuckled with wry amusement. “What’s the matter, don’t like to share?”
“Not particularly, no.” Mick drew the line of his mouth into a thin lipped smile.
Josef cleared this throat then, hands raised in an act of contrition. “Okay, I’m sorry, just trying to lighten the mood.”
Mick rubbed a frustrated hand across his forehead, “That’s the thing, Josef; you can’t just come in here and start making wisecracks. I love Beth, what if this drives a wedge between us, what if it turns out she can’t handle it?”
“I think you underestimate her, Mick,” Josef was on his feet then, shifting into Mick’s space, his hand straightening the lapels on Mick’s jacket. “Look, Beth’s a big girl; if she can handle the existence of blood sucking vampires, I’m sure she can deal with our little drunken romp, unless you’d like to arrange a repeat performance, just to make sure.”
“That’s it, I need you to leave,” Mick turned heel and strode over to the door, opening it with a determined click, only to find Beth standing in the doorway, her hand raised, ready to knock.
“That was quick,” Beth smiled and glanced around Mick, “not interrupting anything am I?”
“No, Josef was just leaving.”
Mick’s response was a little too quick off the mark. Beth shot Mick a sideways glance, before turning to greet Josef.
“Beth,” Josef replied with a polite nod of recognition.
“Did Josef tell you I went to see him last week?” Folding her jacket over the backrest, Beth took a seat on Mick’s leather couch, her handbag held loosely in her lap.
“No, he didn’t,” Mick aimed a pointed look at Josef, “So, what did you talk about?”
“Oh you know this and that, Beth’s doing an expose on me, apparently, not sure if she really wants to include my having lived through the renaissance though.” Now it was Josef’s turn to look uncomfortable; he cleared this throat, nervously this time, and tried to force a casual air.
“Really,” Mick gave Josef a look that said he didn’t believe him for a second.
“Come on, we need talk,” Beth was on her feet, tugging at the sleeve of Mick’s coat then.
His head hung low, Mick followed Beth to the upstairs of his apartment like a condemned man. They stood opposite one another now, in the small office space Mick had converted into a bedroom when they’d first gotten together.
“Look, about the other night,” Mick tried to jump straight in, a plea and an apology already forming on his lips. Beth had asked Josef to stay, Mick wondered if he was out there now, listening in on their conversation. “It didn’t mean anything.”
“I think it did,” Beth took a seat on the bed, and patted the mattress space next to her. She waited until Mick had taken a reluctant seat alongside. It was clear Mick didn’t want to be having this conversation. “Josef loves you; you know that, don’t you?”
“Yeah, I know,” Mick’s shoulders sagged with defeat when he finally answered. Beth was moving into unchartered waters, it was one thing to know your best friend’s feelings, it was quite another to admit them to someone else out loud.
“Then why aren’t the two of you together?”
“Because he’d have to accept that he’s a vampire. No more playing at being mortal, isn’t that right, Mick?” Josef leant in the doorway then, arms folded casually across his chest, his legs crossed at the ankles.
“Because I’m with you,” Mick tried to ignore Josef’s presence as he took Beth’s hands in his, and pleaded his case.
“For how long, Mick?” Beth glanced at Josef, still hovering in the doorway.
“You think I’m going to leave you for Josef?” Mick stared at Beth, slack jawed and incredulous at what he was hearing. And still Josef stood there; ears pricked to the conversation, watching events unfold with a practised air of passing interest, until Mick took aim, and fired a sharp, “Get out.”
Josef raised his hands in placation and stepped back, only to find Beth urging him to stay.
“I want you to hear this as well.”
“Oh goody, this ought to be fun,” Josef quipped with sarcastic breeze as he crossed the floor, and flopped down on the bed next to Beth, “don’t tell me, you’ve realised Mick will never truly be happy with anyone but me, so now you’re here to make the ultimate sacrifice. Good luck with that.”
On the opposite side Mick glanced up at the ceiling, and shook his head.
“Ignore Mister cynical over there,” Beth aimed a well-placed smile in Josef’s direction.
Almost in spite of himself, Mick laughed. And then the atmosphere in the room shifted serious as Beth continued.
“I don’t think you’re going to leave me for Josef, but he’s right, you’ll never truly be happy with anyone but him, that much was obvious the other night.”
“Beth, we were wasted, all of us,” Mick countered. “How can you judge what anyone of us was really feeling?”
“Because I wasn’t wasted,” Beth let that knowledge seep in, before continuing. “You saw me drinking non-alcoholic drinks, and pretending to be drunk. I figured it was the only way I could get the two of you into bed, well you mainly.”
Mick couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “But why?”
For his part Josef threw his head back and chortled with wry amusement, before pretending to tip an imaginary hat at Beth, “Oh well played.”
Beth ignored Josef’s remarks, and focused her attention on Mick. “Because I needed to know.”
“Know what?” Mick was close to panicking then, watching his carefully constructed world with Beth crumbling before him. “Yeah, okay, Josef knows how to get me off, big deal.”
“It is a big deal, Mick,” Beth replied, determined to make Mick understand, she was doing this for him.
“Yes, alert the presses, I’m sure Mick’s orgasms are headline news,” Josef deadpanned beside her.
Mick growled a low warning, “In case you haven’t noticed, I’m in the middle of trying not to break up with my girlfriend, because she has some insane idea that I’d be happier with you. I don’t need a running commentary.”
“And that’s my cue to leave. I’ll let you kids sort it out amongst yourselves,” Josef stood up then, and gave a short bow in Beth’s direction. “Beth, always a pleasure. Mick.” A curt nod in Mick’s direction, and Josef was headed for the door.
“Josef, wait, please,” Beth called after him once again. Josef hesitated, before turning to face her, his reluctance evident. He didn’t want to be there anymore than Mick did, that much was obvious. “Just do one thing for me,” Beth was saying to him then, “one thing, and we can forget this conversation ever happened.”
“I’m listening,” Josef adopted a challenging stance then, arms folded across his chest as he waited for Beth to respond.
“I want the two of you to kiss, without it meaning anything, prove to me what I saw the other night was just inhibitions being shed and Mick and I will work things out between us, and we’ll never speak of this again.”
“What, are you kidding me? No.” Mick launched an immediate protest. “I’m not going to kiss Josef in front of you, not again.”
“Would you prefer we did something else instead?” Josef quick witted, a burlesque smile set in place.
“Josef, come on man, cut it out,” Mick’s voice contained a distinct note of concern, his pitch rising as Josef walked over to the bed. “I’m not comfortable with this.”
Josef sat down, one hand snaking behind Mick’s neck, gripping the back of his Mick’s skull as he drew Mick to him, and rested his forehead against Mick’s own.
“It’s just one kiss, Mick,” Josef lowered his voice outside the range of mortal hearing, “just one kiss and you and the blonde one can go riding off into the sunset together, figuratively speaking.”
Mick shook perceptibly beneath Josef’s touch, several times he drew a short breath, the words perched on the tip of his tongue, but never quite forming. “I can’t,” Mick struggled to keep an even tone when he finally spoke. Eyes closed for a moment; he let his head rest against the wall behind him, tried to ignore the humming in his mind, a thousand thoughts all at once, overlapping. “I can’t kiss you without it meaning anything. We’re too close, and I’m not that good an actor.”
“You’ve got a lot to think about.” Her hand on Mick’s shoulder, Beth tried her best to offer an understanding smile, before clambering off the bed, and grabbing the handbag she’d left on the floor.
“Beth, wait,” Mick scrambled after her, almost tripping over the edge of the mattress as he snatched her arm in mid-air. “There’s nothing to think about, I love you.”
“What about Josef?” Beth asked simply. “You have feelings for him to, don’t you?”
It was a rhetorical question; she’d already seen the answer written across Mick’s face. Ten years of working as an investigative journalist had given her that edge.
“So what if I do? You’re the one I’m with,” Mick gestured emphatically as he followed Beth to the front door.
“You just don’t get it, do you?” Beth turned to face Mick then, placing her hands in his. “You were my guardian angel, Mick. You saved me; you protected me, all those years. I want you to be happy, I owe you that.”
“I am happy…”
Beth placed her finger against Mick’s lips, quieting his protest. “Maybe I’m not. Josef’s the one who’s always been there for you, before I was even born. He loves you, and whether you’re prepared to say it out loud or not, you love him too. I don’t want to feel like I’m standing in someone else’s shadow, that’s not the sort of relationship I deserve, Mick. If you really love me, you’ll see that for yourself.”
Mick didn’t know what to say, he stood momentarily silent, shifting his weight uneasily from one foot to the other. Beth reached into her handbag then, and handed Mick a package.
“I’ll call you.”
A quick platonic kiss and she was out the door, leaving Mick to comprehend how an entire chapter of his life could close so easily. His arms hung loosely by his side, one hand clutching the manila folder Beth had given to him.
Josef stood at the top of the stairs, watching the entire exchange.
“You could have stopped this.” Mick’s voice was couched in barely restrained emotion as he sensed Josef’s presence.
“I could?” Josef descended the stairs then, stopping to lean against the railing of the bottom step. “And how was I supposed to accomplish that exactly, Mick? You know it’s not like Beth gave me a whole lot of room to move.”
“You could have tried, you could have done something.”
“And you could have kissed me without it meaning anything,” Josef cocked his head, and shot back with sarcastic breeze. “It’s not like I didn’t give you the opportunity, I was prepared to play along, but oh, wait.”
Distracted by the envelope in his hand, Mick didn’t reply. A fraction more than the size of a manila folder he wondered what was inside as he turned it over, and saw Beth’s handwriting.
Remember this time of portraits? Beth had scrawled across the front of the envelope in black letters.
Josef was apologising then, contrite over the flippancy of his remarks. Mick held up a hand, and stopped him.
“I think I just need to be alone right now.”
He needed time to think.
~~~~~~~~~
More than a month had passed since Josef had last seen or spoken to Mick. He stood on the doorstep now, wet clothes clinging to his body, his hair soaked from rain. Outside it was pouring; Mick clutched the plastic sleeve of a folder in his hand, filled with drawing paper.
“I didn’t want these getting wet,” Mick offered by way of explanation, no hello, no it’s been while, good to see you again.
Josef ignored Mick’s lack of greeting as he ushered Mick inside and handed him a fresh towel. It wasn’t the first time Mick had retreated into self-imposed solitude, disappearing for weeks at a time. He’d grown used to it by now; even so, there was a part of him that still worried. Not that he’d ever admit that out loud.
Josef pointed to the package in Mick’s hand, the line of his mouth drawn into a burlesque smile. “You brought documents with you. What, you want me to sign some sort of stop messing up my happy fantasies agreement?”
“It wasn’t a fantasy, Josef,” Mick started to protest, wanting Josef to understand what he’d had with Beth had been real. He stopped before the sentence was fully formed. “They’re not documents,” Mick cleared his throat, and handed Josef the plastic cover filled with portraits. “Beth gave them to me, I didn’t know you still had them, I thought they’d been lost in that last move.”
“You didn’t seem to need them as much after they invented the digital camera,” Josef’s eye was drawn to his handiwork on the sheet in front of him. Gone were the usual witticisms as he traced a finger over the lines he had once sketched.
“Is this the way it’s always going to be?” Mick asked then. “No matter how close our other relationships get we’ll just keep circling back to one another?”
“You tell me,” Josef set the artwork aside, and went to fetch the both of them a stiff drink, he had a feeling at least one of them would need it before the night was through. “Have you spoken to Beth since,” Josef’s voice trailed off as he handed Mick a tumbler of neat Scotch.
“Yeah, once,” Mick swirled the contents of his drink, and then knocked it back in two quick gulps, before holding his glass out for a top up, “She says she wants to move forward, with Talbot.”
“I’m sorry,” Josef spoke with genuine conviction.
“I believe you,” Mick leant against the back of Josef’s lounge, his gaze drawn towards the Scotch in his hand as he lost himself in momentary contemplation, trying to decide what to say next.
“And what about you, what do you want, Mick?” Josef brushed the creases from Mick’s shirt front with an absentminded hand. “Have you had a chance to think about that?”
“Yeah, I have,” Mick nodded, and set his half-drunk Scotch to one side. “I’m surprised you didn’t kill her, Beth I mean, for invading your privacy like that.”
“Maybe I thought she did me a favor in the end, besides you loved her, I wasn’t going to take that away from you, Mick.” Josef looked at Mick askance, his brow furrowed in question. He wondered where this conversation was headed, exactly. “Did you want me to make it easier for you, is that it?”
“No,” Mick’s face scrunched with uncertainty, “maybe, I don’t know. Of course I don’t want Beth dead; she’s been my whole life for more than two decades. I just…why does everything have to be so complicated, why can’t it just be straightforward, without all the games, and confusion?”
“Tell me why you came here tonight, Mick. Were you just planning to confuse things even further, is that what that brain of yours was thinking?”
Josef drew his arms around Mick’s neck then, their knees pressed together as he swayed against him, his forehead rested against Mick’s own.
“I was thinking maybe Beth was right.”
“What, with the whole moving forward thing?”
“Yeah, sort of,” Mick brushed his lips against Josef’s own, the kiss giving him the opportunity to gather his thoughts. “Maybe it’s not just me and Beth who need a new future, maybe we do as well.”
“Start again from scratch, pretend we’ve just met, is that it?” Josef chuckled with dry amusement as he returned Mick’s kiss. “The bedroom’s still upstairs you know, unless you had other plans.”
Once again Josef had reverted to the safety of sardonic quips. It was Mick who forced the issue
“Tell me there’s more to it than that, Josef. Tell me I’m not about to give up the chance to keep fighting for a life with Beth just so we can have the occasional meaningless fuck,” Mick broke away from Josef’s embrace, and demanded to know.
The mood in the room fell serious. Josef had gotten so used to protecting his feelings when it came to Mick, masking them with finely honed layers of cynicism, he was somewhat bemused to realise he was the one who needed a stiff drink.
“You know there’s more to it than that,” Josef walked back over to the liquor cabinet, and poured himself a double measure.
“Maybe I just want to hear you say it,” taking the glass from Josef’s hand Mick set it back down, this time he would be the one to initiate things. He snaked a hand behind the back of Josef’s neck, and drew him near. “No more games, Josef, no more kidding ourselves that we can be in each other’s lives without it meaning anything. Beth was right, you have no idea how hard it is for me to admit that, but she was right.”
“Smart girl your Beth,” Josef managed a genuine smile. “So is this the part where I say I love you, and you don’t run out the door?”
“Something like that,” Mick leant in for another kiss, surprised at how natural it felt.
Beth was right…
Sometimes it was amazing what a person was prepared to give up when the realisation of love hit, Mick thought then, the chance of a new life, the chance of a different life -- his chance at mortality.
More than a month ago they’d made a drunken mistake, now it felt like they were finally setting things right.
“So what are we going to call this latest chapter?” Josef couldn’t resist indulging in some affectionate banter then, “I figure a time of portraits has come and gone, a time of digital cameras doesn’t quite have that ring to it…”
Mick smiled, and pressed a little closer.
“How about we just say the time is now.”
Pairing: Josef/Mick, Josef/Mick/Beth (alluded to)
Rating: low level R
Disclaimer: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Summary: After a drunken night together, Mick is forced to reexamine his relationships with Beth and Josef.
Author's Note: Written for a specific prompt in the smallfandomfest, Beth decides to clue Mick in on who he really wants, the one that's been there for him through it all.
___________________________________________________________
The first thing Mick noticed was the warmth, decades of waking up in an icebox it felt incongruous -- no frosted breath, no formation of ice crystals on the inside of the Perspex lid, no blue light glowing above him. His mouth tasted of stale liquor and old saliva. He propped himself up one elbow, and blinked back layers of sleep. To the right of him lay Josef, his back turned, and Beth, Beth -
- Was gone now, had been there with them.
Mick found himself being wrenched awake then, snapped back into undead consciousness by a flash of images.
Josef, and him, and Beth, and the three of them, together, hands clutching, bodies writhing, warm from the free flow of pills and alcohol.
“Oh god, no,” Mick sat on the edge of the bed, his head cradled in his hands, trying to ignore the post drug and alcohol haze. They’d gotten drunk, too drunk, and then there were the freshies, several of them, chock full of inhibition shedding goodness.
They’d formed a triangle; Beth kneeling over his face, his mouth on her sex, and Josef, Josef had been fucking him then, hard.
“There’s some of that plastic bag blood in the fridge if you need it,” a voice mumbled groggily from the bed next to him, “courtesy of our friends at the Red Cross”.
Mick was a flurry of activity as he pulled on his jeans, and chased after a pair of stray socks. “I have to go.”
He was out the door then, tripping over shoelaces not yet tied. Last night had been a mistake; he should never have, not like that, not the three of them sharing that way. Things were supposed to be kept separate, his life now, with Beth, and his past, with Josef. They weren’t meant to…
Converge, the three of them, Beth’s legs over his shoulders, her face flushed, and Josef behind him, his hands on Mick’s hips, controlling the pace of their thrusts.
“No.” Mick shook his head as he white knuckled the steering wheel of his car. Last night didn’t happen.
~~~~~~~~~
A week earlier Beth sat in Josef’s office, a paper trail of emotions spread out in front of her.
“You’ve been spying on me?” Josef bristled under his calm exterior.
“Harper’s bought me in on a freelance assignment; they’re doing an exposé, the man behind Kostan Industries. They wanted to know about those charity scams you were caught up in last year.”
“I took care of that,” Josef allowed himself the pleasure of a conceited smile as he recalled dropping the men responsible into the La Brea tar pits.
“I remember. Mick called it a bloodbath,” Beth shifted in her seat a little nervously; she could feel Josef’s gaze boring into her. “He said you were pretty pissed off about it.”
“It brought undue attention on me,” Josef responded matter of face as he began to go through the collection of documents Beth had brought with her, “and now this. Where did you get these?” Josef held up one of the portraits of Mick that he’d sketched for his private collection, more than a decade ago.
“Your safe deposit box, I used a false authorisation document to get round security, plus they had the CCTV footage from when I’d been there before, with you, and Mick.” Breaking into Josef’s private life had been surprisingly easy. Beth watched as Josef scrawled a few hurried notes in a diary then, she was sure at least one of them would read something along the lines of, ‘Kill safe deposit box manager at ten, take suit to dry cleaner’s at eleven’.
“Remind me to do a security upgrade,” Josef drew the line of his mouth into an unimpressed smile as he set the pictures aside, and began to go through the pile of financial records.
“You’re leaving everything to him; if something ever happens to you then Mick gets your entire fortune,” Beth never thought she’d be discussing this stuff with Josef, not when it was about Mick at least, she’d buried herself in work until she’d gotten up the courage to approach him. “And here,” Beth pointed to an itemised list of expenses, “the amount of money you spend on Mick, it’s phenomenal. I had no idea.”
“Well obviously,” Josef shot back without missing a beat. “That’s kind of the point of having a private life; it’s supposed to remain private, at least until ambitious blonde journalist types start poking their noses in where they don’t belong.” It was the closest thing to a threat Beth had gotten so far.
“Would you have preferred someone else do the digging? Considering what they may have found out?” Beth stood her ground, determined to get some answers. “Those sketches, your financial records, tell me what’s going on?”
Josef wouldn’t budge. “What’s going on is I have a friend I happen to care very deeply about,” he replied in carefully measured tones.
“But there’s more to it than that, isn’t there?”
Beth’s words hung between them in the ensuing quietude. Josef seemed to be changing the subject as he broke the awkward silence.
“Did Mick ever tell you why he took all those photos of you as a child?”
“We never really talked about it, I assumed it had something to do with him protecting me,” Beth replied.
“You know for a vampire who was born in the age of photography it could be pretty disconcerting to find yourself suddenly erased from the photographic record altogether,” Josef leant forward, his gaze focused on Beth. “You existed; your image could be captured on film, Mick thought that existence shone through in those photos. He fed off it, the image of your mortality; he used to say it confirmed his own existence.”
“And when that didn’t work?”
Josef gestured towards the sketches he’d made of Mick. “Let’s just say it was my way of keeping Mick in the photographic record. Well, sort of. And yeah, if anything happens to me, Mick will be well taken care of. He’s been a good friend to me over the years, a heck of a lot more loyal than some others have been.”
Beth took one of the portraits from the desk, and studied the artwork. There was an intimacy to the way Josef had drawn each line, it was good, more than good --“Where did you learn to draw like this?”
“The renaissance,” Josef gave an unaffected shrug, as if it didn’t matter. He wasn’t prepared for Beth’s next question.
“You love him, don’t you? Mick, I mean.”
“I try not to.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
Josef had been quick off the mark, now he took a moment to settle.
“Maybe I did once, but I got over it,” Josef rounded the desk, and gestured politely towards his office door, indicating their meeting was over. He leant in the doorway, his weight shifted to one hip as he waited for Beth to gather her things. “You know I’m not the person you’re looking for, I’m not a threat to you and Mick.”
Beth gave a cryptic smile as she prepared to leave.
“Maybe it’s not me and Mick I’m worried about.”
~~~~~~~~~
Three days passed, three days in which Mick refused to take Josef’s calls. Josef sat on Mick’s couch now, glowering with all indignation he could muster.
“You know it’s not like we’ve never had sex before, Mick.”
“Yes, exactly,” Mick paced the floor, punctuating his words with frustrated hand gestures, “We have, we, not us.”
“I didn’t exactly hear Beth complaining,” Josef stretched out his legs, and rested his feet on the coffee table in front of him, ankles crossed in a nonchalant pose. “Come to think of it I didn’t hear you complaining much either.”
“I was drunk,” Mick shot back defensively.
“We all were, Mick,” Josef offered Mick a patronising smile, “some of us more than others.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Arms folded across his chest, Mick confronted Josef directly then.
Josef shrugged, “It means you keep yourself wound so tight it’s no surprise the lid bursts off every now and then.”
“Yeah, well, that still doesn’t mean I wanted Beth to see that side of me, Josef, “glancing away briefly, Mick pursed his lips, and gave a huff of annoyance. And then he was lowering his voice, the following words barely audible, “not with you.”
Josef gave an arched brow grin, and chuckled with wry amusement. “What’s the matter, don’t like to share?”
“Not particularly, no.” Mick drew the line of his mouth into a thin lipped smile.
Josef cleared this throat then, hands raised in an act of contrition. “Okay, I’m sorry, just trying to lighten the mood.”
Mick rubbed a frustrated hand across his forehead, “That’s the thing, Josef; you can’t just come in here and start making wisecracks. I love Beth, what if this drives a wedge between us, what if it turns out she can’t handle it?”
“I think you underestimate her, Mick,” Josef was on his feet then, shifting into Mick’s space, his hand straightening the lapels on Mick’s jacket. “Look, Beth’s a big girl; if she can handle the existence of blood sucking vampires, I’m sure she can deal with our little drunken romp, unless you’d like to arrange a repeat performance, just to make sure.”
“That’s it, I need you to leave,” Mick turned heel and strode over to the door, opening it with a determined click, only to find Beth standing in the doorway, her hand raised, ready to knock.
“That was quick,” Beth smiled and glanced around Mick, “not interrupting anything am I?”
“No, Josef was just leaving.”
Mick’s response was a little too quick off the mark. Beth shot Mick a sideways glance, before turning to greet Josef.
“Beth,” Josef replied with a polite nod of recognition.
“Did Josef tell you I went to see him last week?” Folding her jacket over the backrest, Beth took a seat on Mick’s leather couch, her handbag held loosely in her lap.
“No, he didn’t,” Mick aimed a pointed look at Josef, “So, what did you talk about?”
“Oh you know this and that, Beth’s doing an expose on me, apparently, not sure if she really wants to include my having lived through the renaissance though.” Now it was Josef’s turn to look uncomfortable; he cleared this throat, nervously this time, and tried to force a casual air.
“Really,” Mick gave Josef a look that said he didn’t believe him for a second.
“Come on, we need talk,” Beth was on her feet, tugging at the sleeve of Mick’s coat then.
His head hung low, Mick followed Beth to the upstairs of his apartment like a condemned man. They stood opposite one another now, in the small office space Mick had converted into a bedroom when they’d first gotten together.
“Look, about the other night,” Mick tried to jump straight in, a plea and an apology already forming on his lips. Beth had asked Josef to stay, Mick wondered if he was out there now, listening in on their conversation. “It didn’t mean anything.”
“I think it did,” Beth took a seat on the bed, and patted the mattress space next to her. She waited until Mick had taken a reluctant seat alongside. It was clear Mick didn’t want to be having this conversation. “Josef loves you; you know that, don’t you?”
“Yeah, I know,” Mick’s shoulders sagged with defeat when he finally answered. Beth was moving into unchartered waters, it was one thing to know your best friend’s feelings, it was quite another to admit them to someone else out loud.
“Then why aren’t the two of you together?”
“Because he’d have to accept that he’s a vampire. No more playing at being mortal, isn’t that right, Mick?” Josef leant in the doorway then, arms folded casually across his chest, his legs crossed at the ankles.
“Because I’m with you,” Mick tried to ignore Josef’s presence as he took Beth’s hands in his, and pleaded his case.
“For how long, Mick?” Beth glanced at Josef, still hovering in the doorway.
“You think I’m going to leave you for Josef?” Mick stared at Beth, slack jawed and incredulous at what he was hearing. And still Josef stood there; ears pricked to the conversation, watching events unfold with a practised air of passing interest, until Mick took aim, and fired a sharp, “Get out.”
Josef raised his hands in placation and stepped back, only to find Beth urging him to stay.
“I want you to hear this as well.”
“Oh goody, this ought to be fun,” Josef quipped with sarcastic breeze as he crossed the floor, and flopped down on the bed next to Beth, “don’t tell me, you’ve realised Mick will never truly be happy with anyone but me, so now you’re here to make the ultimate sacrifice. Good luck with that.”
On the opposite side Mick glanced up at the ceiling, and shook his head.
“Ignore Mister cynical over there,” Beth aimed a well-placed smile in Josef’s direction.
Almost in spite of himself, Mick laughed. And then the atmosphere in the room shifted serious as Beth continued.
“I don’t think you’re going to leave me for Josef, but he’s right, you’ll never truly be happy with anyone but him, that much was obvious the other night.”
“Beth, we were wasted, all of us,” Mick countered. “How can you judge what anyone of us was really feeling?”
“Because I wasn’t wasted,” Beth let that knowledge seep in, before continuing. “You saw me drinking non-alcoholic drinks, and pretending to be drunk. I figured it was the only way I could get the two of you into bed, well you mainly.”
Mick couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “But why?”
For his part Josef threw his head back and chortled with wry amusement, before pretending to tip an imaginary hat at Beth, “Oh well played.”
Beth ignored Josef’s remarks, and focused her attention on Mick. “Because I needed to know.”
“Know what?” Mick was close to panicking then, watching his carefully constructed world with Beth crumbling before him. “Yeah, okay, Josef knows how to get me off, big deal.”
“It is a big deal, Mick,” Beth replied, determined to make Mick understand, she was doing this for him.
“Yes, alert the presses, I’m sure Mick’s orgasms are headline news,” Josef deadpanned beside her.
Mick growled a low warning, “In case you haven’t noticed, I’m in the middle of trying not to break up with my girlfriend, because she has some insane idea that I’d be happier with you. I don’t need a running commentary.”
“And that’s my cue to leave. I’ll let you kids sort it out amongst yourselves,” Josef stood up then, and gave a short bow in Beth’s direction. “Beth, always a pleasure. Mick.” A curt nod in Mick’s direction, and Josef was headed for the door.
“Josef, wait, please,” Beth called after him once again. Josef hesitated, before turning to face her, his reluctance evident. He didn’t want to be there anymore than Mick did, that much was obvious. “Just do one thing for me,” Beth was saying to him then, “one thing, and we can forget this conversation ever happened.”
“I’m listening,” Josef adopted a challenging stance then, arms folded across his chest as he waited for Beth to respond.
“I want the two of you to kiss, without it meaning anything, prove to me what I saw the other night was just inhibitions being shed and Mick and I will work things out between us, and we’ll never speak of this again.”
“What, are you kidding me? No.” Mick launched an immediate protest. “I’m not going to kiss Josef in front of you, not again.”
“Would you prefer we did something else instead?” Josef quick witted, a burlesque smile set in place.
“Josef, come on man, cut it out,” Mick’s voice contained a distinct note of concern, his pitch rising as Josef walked over to the bed. “I’m not comfortable with this.”
Josef sat down, one hand snaking behind Mick’s neck, gripping the back of his Mick’s skull as he drew Mick to him, and rested his forehead against Mick’s own.
“It’s just one kiss, Mick,” Josef lowered his voice outside the range of mortal hearing, “just one kiss and you and the blonde one can go riding off into the sunset together, figuratively speaking.”
Mick shook perceptibly beneath Josef’s touch, several times he drew a short breath, the words perched on the tip of his tongue, but never quite forming. “I can’t,” Mick struggled to keep an even tone when he finally spoke. Eyes closed for a moment; he let his head rest against the wall behind him, tried to ignore the humming in his mind, a thousand thoughts all at once, overlapping. “I can’t kiss you without it meaning anything. We’re too close, and I’m not that good an actor.”
“You’ve got a lot to think about.” Her hand on Mick’s shoulder, Beth tried her best to offer an understanding smile, before clambering off the bed, and grabbing the handbag she’d left on the floor.
“Beth, wait,” Mick scrambled after her, almost tripping over the edge of the mattress as he snatched her arm in mid-air. “There’s nothing to think about, I love you.”
“What about Josef?” Beth asked simply. “You have feelings for him to, don’t you?”
It was a rhetorical question; she’d already seen the answer written across Mick’s face. Ten years of working as an investigative journalist had given her that edge.
“So what if I do? You’re the one I’m with,” Mick gestured emphatically as he followed Beth to the front door.
“You just don’t get it, do you?” Beth turned to face Mick then, placing her hands in his. “You were my guardian angel, Mick. You saved me; you protected me, all those years. I want you to be happy, I owe you that.”
“I am happy…”
Beth placed her finger against Mick’s lips, quieting his protest. “Maybe I’m not. Josef’s the one who’s always been there for you, before I was even born. He loves you, and whether you’re prepared to say it out loud or not, you love him too. I don’t want to feel like I’m standing in someone else’s shadow, that’s not the sort of relationship I deserve, Mick. If you really love me, you’ll see that for yourself.”
Mick didn’t know what to say, he stood momentarily silent, shifting his weight uneasily from one foot to the other. Beth reached into her handbag then, and handed Mick a package.
“I’ll call you.”
A quick platonic kiss and she was out the door, leaving Mick to comprehend how an entire chapter of his life could close so easily. His arms hung loosely by his side, one hand clutching the manila folder Beth had given to him.
Josef stood at the top of the stairs, watching the entire exchange.
“You could have stopped this.” Mick’s voice was couched in barely restrained emotion as he sensed Josef’s presence.
“I could?” Josef descended the stairs then, stopping to lean against the railing of the bottom step. “And how was I supposed to accomplish that exactly, Mick? You know it’s not like Beth gave me a whole lot of room to move.”
“You could have tried, you could have done something.”
“And you could have kissed me without it meaning anything,” Josef cocked his head, and shot back with sarcastic breeze. “It’s not like I didn’t give you the opportunity, I was prepared to play along, but oh, wait.”
Distracted by the envelope in his hand, Mick didn’t reply. A fraction more than the size of a manila folder he wondered what was inside as he turned it over, and saw Beth’s handwriting.
Remember this time of portraits? Beth had scrawled across the front of the envelope in black letters.
Josef was apologising then, contrite over the flippancy of his remarks. Mick held up a hand, and stopped him.
“I think I just need to be alone right now.”
He needed time to think.
~~~~~~~~~
More than a month had passed since Josef had last seen or spoken to Mick. He stood on the doorstep now, wet clothes clinging to his body, his hair soaked from rain. Outside it was pouring; Mick clutched the plastic sleeve of a folder in his hand, filled with drawing paper.
“I didn’t want these getting wet,” Mick offered by way of explanation, no hello, no it’s been while, good to see you again.
Josef ignored Mick’s lack of greeting as he ushered Mick inside and handed him a fresh towel. It wasn’t the first time Mick had retreated into self-imposed solitude, disappearing for weeks at a time. He’d grown used to it by now; even so, there was a part of him that still worried. Not that he’d ever admit that out loud.
Josef pointed to the package in Mick’s hand, the line of his mouth drawn into a burlesque smile. “You brought documents with you. What, you want me to sign some sort of stop messing up my happy fantasies agreement?”
“It wasn’t a fantasy, Josef,” Mick started to protest, wanting Josef to understand what he’d had with Beth had been real. He stopped before the sentence was fully formed. “They’re not documents,” Mick cleared his throat, and handed Josef the plastic cover filled with portraits. “Beth gave them to me, I didn’t know you still had them, I thought they’d been lost in that last move.”
“You didn’t seem to need them as much after they invented the digital camera,” Josef’s eye was drawn to his handiwork on the sheet in front of him. Gone were the usual witticisms as he traced a finger over the lines he had once sketched.
“Is this the way it’s always going to be?” Mick asked then. “No matter how close our other relationships get we’ll just keep circling back to one another?”
“You tell me,” Josef set the artwork aside, and went to fetch the both of them a stiff drink, he had a feeling at least one of them would need it before the night was through. “Have you spoken to Beth since,” Josef’s voice trailed off as he handed Mick a tumbler of neat Scotch.
“Yeah, once,” Mick swirled the contents of his drink, and then knocked it back in two quick gulps, before holding his glass out for a top up, “She says she wants to move forward, with Talbot.”
“I’m sorry,” Josef spoke with genuine conviction.
“I believe you,” Mick leant against the back of Josef’s lounge, his gaze drawn towards the Scotch in his hand as he lost himself in momentary contemplation, trying to decide what to say next.
“And what about you, what do you want, Mick?” Josef brushed the creases from Mick’s shirt front with an absentminded hand. “Have you had a chance to think about that?”
“Yeah, I have,” Mick nodded, and set his half-drunk Scotch to one side. “I’m surprised you didn’t kill her, Beth I mean, for invading your privacy like that.”
“Maybe I thought she did me a favor in the end, besides you loved her, I wasn’t going to take that away from you, Mick.” Josef looked at Mick askance, his brow furrowed in question. He wondered where this conversation was headed, exactly. “Did you want me to make it easier for you, is that it?”
“No,” Mick’s face scrunched with uncertainty, “maybe, I don’t know. Of course I don’t want Beth dead; she’s been my whole life for more than two decades. I just…why does everything have to be so complicated, why can’t it just be straightforward, without all the games, and confusion?”
“Tell me why you came here tonight, Mick. Were you just planning to confuse things even further, is that what that brain of yours was thinking?”
Josef drew his arms around Mick’s neck then, their knees pressed together as he swayed against him, his forehead rested against Mick’s own.
“I was thinking maybe Beth was right.”
“What, with the whole moving forward thing?”
“Yeah, sort of,” Mick brushed his lips against Josef’s own, the kiss giving him the opportunity to gather his thoughts. “Maybe it’s not just me and Beth who need a new future, maybe we do as well.”
“Start again from scratch, pretend we’ve just met, is that it?” Josef chuckled with dry amusement as he returned Mick’s kiss. “The bedroom’s still upstairs you know, unless you had other plans.”
Once again Josef had reverted to the safety of sardonic quips. It was Mick who forced the issue
“Tell me there’s more to it than that, Josef. Tell me I’m not about to give up the chance to keep fighting for a life with Beth just so we can have the occasional meaningless fuck,” Mick broke away from Josef’s embrace, and demanded to know.
The mood in the room fell serious. Josef had gotten so used to protecting his feelings when it came to Mick, masking them with finely honed layers of cynicism, he was somewhat bemused to realise he was the one who needed a stiff drink.
“You know there’s more to it than that,” Josef walked back over to the liquor cabinet, and poured himself a double measure.
“Maybe I just want to hear you say it,” taking the glass from Josef’s hand Mick set it back down, this time he would be the one to initiate things. He snaked a hand behind the back of Josef’s neck, and drew him near. “No more games, Josef, no more kidding ourselves that we can be in each other’s lives without it meaning anything. Beth was right, you have no idea how hard it is for me to admit that, but she was right.”
“Smart girl your Beth,” Josef managed a genuine smile. “So is this the part where I say I love you, and you don’t run out the door?”
“Something like that,” Mick leant in for another kiss, surprised at how natural it felt.
Beth was right…
Sometimes it was amazing what a person was prepared to give up when the realisation of love hit, Mick thought then, the chance of a new life, the chance of a different life -- his chance at mortality.
More than a month ago they’d made a drunken mistake, now it felt like they were finally setting things right.
“So what are we going to call this latest chapter?” Josef couldn’t resist indulging in some affectionate banter then, “I figure a time of portraits has come and gone, a time of digital cameras doesn’t quite have that ring to it…”
Mick smiled, and pressed a little closer.
“How about we just say the time is now.”