Surrender
Title: Surrender
Pairing: Josef/Mick
Rating: NC17
Disclaimer: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Summary: In the aftermath of Coraline's death, Mick is learning to navigate the world as a vampire. He turns to Josef for moral support and guidance. Intimacy ensues, and deeper emotions are hinted at.
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Mick wasn’t so much seated atop the car as he was standing on it, on the roof to be precise, bouncing on the balls of his feet, leaving small indentations in the fibreglass top.
“I get it; I get what it’s about. It’s like all this time it’s been right there in front of my face, and now I finally get it,” Mick rapid fired as Josef propped himself elegantly against the car’s bonnet, and stifled a lack lustre yawn.
“Get what, Mick?”
On Mick’s insistence they’d hired a car, and driven to the coast, parking near Santa Monica beach. Night had settled in. Josef watched a gull in the sky with passing interest. Mick had been ranting about nothing; it seemed, for the past few hours. Josef’s patience was beginning to wear thin.
“Knowing eternity, embracing the beast within, everything I ran from when Coraline was still alive,” Mick slid from the roof of the car, and hopped down beside Josef, his shoulders drawn back as he drank in the night air, “you must feel it too, the power, it’s like the darkness just energises you, man.”
“Of course,” Josef nodded sagely, “and after we’ve wrestled a pod of dolphins, we’ll go find a nice jungle to run through.”
“Hey, fuck you,” Mick shifted defensive then, his voice raising an octave as he thrust his chin forward in a display of false bravado. “I thought you were supposed to be helping me.”
“I am helping you, Mick. This is me helping you by refusing to do scenes from a nervous breakdown.”
Josef’s measured sarcasm only served to infuriate Mick further. He squared off, flecks of spittle gathering at the corners of his mouth as he prepared to let fly. And then the fight seemed to drain out of him. Mick’s shoulders sagged with defeat, they hadn’t driven all the way out here for him to start railing against the one person he thought could actually help.
Mick walked the few steps towards a low set wall that separated the parking lot from the sand, and took a seat. Hunkered over with hands shoved protectively into the pockets of his jacket he watched the night time shore line. The moon’s pale light scattered across the surface of the ocean as waves crested and broke; he wanted to dive beneath that foam tipped blackness.
“You know this suit cost me a small fortune,” Josef was sitting beside him then, one hand rested lightly on Mick’s shoulder.
Almost in spite of himself Mick laughed at Josef’s offhand remark, the message behind it was clear. Don’t even think about taking an impromptu dip and needing me to haul your ass out of that water, St John. He was touched by Josef’s concern, even the way it had been presented, gift wrapped with deadpanned witticism.
“I killed her. I plunged a stake into her heart, and I lit that fire, and I watched her burn,” Mick rested the weight of his body against Josef then, “She was my wife, she sired me; how am I supposed to process that. I need to establish an identity away from Coraline, or else I won’t survive.”
“And you decided raving lunatic or Vampire on the verge of turning rogue was a good fit.”
“No, Christ,” Mick sat up and scrubbed a frustrated hand over his face, “I don’t know, I feel like I’m flying blind here.”
“You’re not flying blind, Mick, not with me,” Josef brushed the line of Mick’s jaw with his hand, a gesture of tenderness that was withdrawn as quickly as it was offered. “You’ve managed to stand on your own two feet for the past twenty five or so years, with or without Coraline’s help. What makes you think that’s suddenly changed now she’s gone?”
“I don’t know, I just…Fuck!” Mick swore through gritted teeth, his earlier bravado all but evaporated. Mick’s continuing frustration at not being able to find the right words was becoming increasingly evident. “You and me, we’ve been friends for years, ever since Coraline first introduced us. I don’t want to lose that for a start,” he managed finally.
Josef shot Mick a sideways look, eyebrows raised in question. “So that whole ‘I am Vampire, hear me roar’ routine you had going earlier was your way of making sure I’d still be friends with you? Did I forget to mention there wasn’t an audition process?”
“Maybe with Coraline gone I didn’t want you seeing me as some sort of fledgling who’s been left behind, still trying to tag along with the real vamps.” Mick drew a thin gold case from his jacket pocket, and lit one of the cigars contained within; the ember glow of the tip distracting him from the conversation at hand. At any moment he expected Josef’s razor sharp wit to slice clean through. That moment never came. Instead he felt Josef’s hand on the back of his neck; drawing him closer, felt Josef’s gaze directed towards his own, their foreheads rested together.
“You haven’t been a fledgling in years, Mick,” Josef gently squeezed the nape of Mick’s neck, “and believe me, you’re not just some Vamp wannabe tag along. You mean a lot more to me than that.”
Mick closed his eyes, sensing a spark of energy that flowed between them, a connection that went beyond the established. He wasn’t sure how to respond. And then just as before, Josef’s sudden affection was being withdrawn as quickly as it had been given. Josef seemed almost embarrassed by the display.
“That’s the second time you’ve done that, gone all soft on me, and then backed off”, this time it was Mick’s turn to look at Josef askance, “I thought I was the one who was supposed to being having issues, what gives?”
“Nothing, maybe I just don’t fancy sitting here doing the whole kumbaya thing, Mick.”
Josef’s response had been a little too defensive, his tone a little too clipped. He was hiding something, Mick was sure of it.
“And maybe you like me more than you’re willing to admit,” Mick pushed further, “I mean it’s cool, man, I’m okay with it,” he added with all the jet-setting, man of the world attitude he could muster.
“How very modern of you,” Josef arched a facetious eyebrow, and snorted a dry laugh.
Mick cocked his head, and furrowed his brow at Josef’s response. “You’re not really big on expressing emotions, are you?”
“Actually, Mick, if you must know, you’re the first person in decades I’ve allowed to see even a glimpse of these so called emotions of mine you seem so keen on.” Despite the cynically polite overtones, there was a matter of fact honesty behind Josef’s revelation. Mick had been right; there was more to Josef’s side of their friendship than Josef had been willing to let on. Josef trusted Mick, more than he’d trusted anyone in a very long time. And there was more. Josef admired him, not only for the person Mick was, but for the remembrance of the person he had once been, before the loss, and loneliness of centuries had seen fit to armour him with such finely woven layers of cynicism. Somewhere along the line the admiration had begun to shift, became something more, a physical attraction that was more than just physical. Josef wasn’t sure he was ready to lay those particular cards on the table.
"Look, you’re grieving the loss of your wife, I get that, but sooner or later you’re going to have to face what happened, Mick. Coraline was out of control, you said so yourself,” Josef held up a steadying hand, “I think you’ve got enough on your plate, without me complicating things.”
Mick cupped Josef’s chin with his hand, and turned Josef’s face towards his. “Did you ever stop and think that maybe I might want to be complicated with you?” He spoke in earnest then.
Josef shook his head, and then pulled away. “You don’t know what you’re asking.”
“Yeah, I think I do. Complicated or not it makes more sense to me than anything else I’ve tried so far,” Mick wouldn’t be dissuaded, “There’s a five star hotel just near here. Come on, since when have you ever looked a gift horse in the mouth?”
“Since that gift horse tried to tap dance a hole in the roof of a car.”
“I’m not crazy, Josef,” again that same earnest tone. “Right now it feels like you’re the only real thing in this entire world to me, and all I want to do is surrender to that feeling, because believe me it beats the alternative.”
“Shit,” Josef raised his eyes skyward. “You know I’m going to regret this. Since when did you manage to turn me into Captain Sensible anyway,” he mustered a contemptuous smile then, “next thing you know you’ll have me wearing tweed jackets and comfortable tartan slippers.”
“I think they even supply matching pipes back at that hotel,” Mick grinned as he stood up.
“A word of advice, Mick,” Josef rose to his feet as well then, the line of his mouth drawn into a disarming smile as he took a couple of steps forward. “Lose the false bravado. You might have gotten away with a lot while Coraline was still alive, but that chip on your shoulder is like a red flag to a bull if you happen to run into the wrong sort of Vamp. Trust me, they’ll smell it a mile off, and you’re the one who’ll come off second best.”
"I can handle myself in a fight, Josef,” Mick rolled his eyes, and huffed indignantly. He felt miffed at Josef’s apparent lack of confidence in his abilities. It wasn’t as if he and Coraline hadn’t gotten into their fair share of scrapes over the past four decades or so; he’d learnt to pack a pretty mean punch in that time. “It’s not like I’m a fledgling anymore, you said so yourself, remember?”
“Okay,” Josef spread his hands in a gesture of placation, and then flew at Mick without warning, knocking him to the ground, before Mick had a chance to even think about mounting a defence. “You were saying?” Josef stretched out a hand to help Mick up, and dusted him off as Mick did his best to scowl convincingly enough to cover his wounded pride.
“Hey, that wasn’t a fair fight. I wasn’t even ready.”
“I hate to break it to you, but the majority of fights don’t tend to be all neat and choreographed with everyone standing around and waiting their turn.” Hands shoved casually in his coat pockets, Josef gave a noncommittal shrug as they walked side by side, “Besides, I thought you wanted my help.”
“I thought you said I could stand on my own two feet,” Mick countered.
“So I did, but everyone’s capable of making mistakes,” again that same noncommittal shrug, Josef kept his eyes fixed on the path in front of them. “I happen to care what happens to you, Mick. But then you already know that.”
“Yeah, I sort of figured it out,” Mick looked at Josef, and gave a crooked smile. “The fact that I can scent your arousal a mile off was kind of a give-away.”
“And yet you waited until now to tell me all this,” Josef snorted another laugh, a note of surprise crept into his voice.
“I thought you already knew, that I would have known, with the whole scent thing I mean.” Mick cleared his throat, and swallowed a nervous lump. It had been easy enough to figure out Josef had feelings for him; he hadn’t expected Josef to be surprised by that revelation.
Josef shook his head, “It doesn’t always work that way, Mick. A younger vampire’s ability to scent things isn’t as well developed as an older vamp’s, at least not always.”
“See, that’s why you and me, it’s not such a crazy idea,” Once more Mick was suddenly very animated as he stopped in the middle of the Boulevard and began to pace back and forth, punctuating his words with a series of determined gestures. “I’m not just talking about heading to a hotel, and surrendering for one night, or however long. You can teach me things, things Coraline never did. It’s what I need, I need to learn; I need to know who I am as a vampire. Josef, it’s what I want.”
“You don’t know what you want, Mick,” Josef called over his shoulder as he walked a few paces ahead.
“I want you.”
Josef stopped in his tracks, there was a depth of sincerity in the way Mick had said those words. He turned to face Mick then, saw the longing etched on his features, the pain and confusion, the grief that lay there. Without thinking he covered the short distance between them in one fluid rush of movement, and gathered Mick up in an embrace, his mouth crushed against Mick’s own.
“Don’t stop,” Mick murmured against Josef’s lips, “whatever you do, don’t stop kissing me.”
“Something tells me it might be a little difficult to try and co-ordinate walking and locking lips at the same time,” despite Mick’s pleas Josef reluctantly broke the kiss. “How far is that hotel from here?”
“Not far.”
“We should probably make a move then.”
Mick felt Josef’s body sway against his, matching the rhythm of the ocean’s swell, his arms still wrapped tight around Mick’s waist. Minutes later, it seemed, they were stumbling through the doorway of a hotel room, limbs tangling, their lips pressed together, clothes being shed along the way, desperate and urgent as they made their way towards the large sized bed in the far corner of the room.
The pace slowed as they fell in a heap on top of the covers. Mick shifted up to the top of the bed, stretched out supine, a pillow tucked behind his head. He waited for Josef to join him alongside.
Josef seemed to want to take his time then. Lying on his side, propped up on one shoulder, he traced a lazy hand across Mick’s chest, occasionally stopping to tweak one of Mick’s nipples between thumb and forefinger.
“You okay?”
“Yeah, I’m okay, come here,” Mick snaked an arm around Josef’s neck, and drew him down for a kiss. “I’m the one who wanted to be here, remember?”
“I can’t think why,” Josef chuckled as he feigned innocence, and wrapped a firm hand around the shaft of Mick’s cock.
“Oh, Jesus,” Mick arched into the sensation as Josef began to stroke a steady rhythm along his length, “that for a start.”
Josef circled the head of Mick’s cock with his thumb, eliciting a groan of approval. “You do of course realise I could keep this up for hours if I wanted to,” it was a passing remark, dripping with salaciousness. Josef’s other hand was questing lower, probing between the cheeks of Mick’s arse. He bent his lips to Mick’s ear then, “Just how far are you willing to go?”
“As long as I don’t have to think about anything beyond this bed, and this room, you can take me as far as you want.” Mick’s tangled his fingers in Josef’s hair, his mouth and tongue seeking heated contact once more. He deepened the kiss, tasting the rich scent of coppery blood, overlaid with Whiskey and fine Wine on Josef’s lips.
And then those same lips were tracing a path along his throat, leaving wet trails across his flesh as Josef continued lower, running the tip of his tongue down the line of Mick’s abdomen. Mick felt the muscles beneath his skin ripple with anticipation, his erection lying rigid and tense against his stomach. Josef paused when he reached the tip, and then snaked his tongue ever so lightly across the surface of the glans.
Josef groaned again, his lips pursed, “You’re going to make me beg, aren’t you?”
“Don’t sound so perturbed,” Josef raised his head and grinned; “a simple please will suffice.”
Mick mustered the most falsely charming smile he could manage, and said, “Please.” And then he was being jolted by shockwaves of pleasure as Josef engulfed him with his mouth and tongue. Eyes closed he drifted on the edge, Josef was right; he could keep him there for hours if he wanted to. Mick didn’t care, at the moment there was only arousal, and stimulation, and blissful surrender.
For the first time that evening, Mick wondered what else he was surrendering to. Was there something other than this, had he always known? He’d been drawn to Josef more and more since Coraline’s death.
“Just relax,” Josef was speaking then, urging Mick to draw his knees up. “You’ve never done this before, have you?” Two saliva coated fingers were pressed against Mick’s arsehole.
“This? No,” Mick shook his head, and swallowed back another rise in nerves.
“You still willing to let me take you as far as I want then?”
Josef pressed a little further, penetrating Mick’s space just a fraction of an inch.
“I’ve already come this far haven’t I?” Mick replied with far more confidence than he felt.
“That’s not an answer, Mick,” Josef nuzzled his face against the side of Mick’s throat, nipped at the tender flesh there.
Mick furrowed his brow, “Didn’t we already have this conversation; I thought we already established all this? I just don’t know what to expect. I’ve never done this before, remember?”
“You think I’m just going to jump on top of you, and start making with the happy?” Josef cocked his head, and gave a facetious smile. “It’s tempting, but I do happen to have a little more finesse than that.”
“Then show me,” Mick half muttered those words against Josef’s lips as he went in for another kiss. He could feel his erection waning, suddenly the thought of Josef’s finesse seemed incredibly appealing.
Josef’s fingers were moving inside him then, carefully stretching and penetrating. Mick grimaced a little at the initial discomfort, before he felt his muscles begin to relax. He drew his knees up further, felt a sensation of pressure building inside as Josef curled his fingers against a particular spot. And then that same pressure gradually shifted, becoming waves of intense pleasure.
“Oh fuck,” Mick groaned and bit down on his lip, drawing twin droplets of blood. Josef chased those droplets with his tongue, and then carefully withdrew his fingers in Mick’s arse just enough to add a third, revelling in the noises Mick was making, the way Mick’s heels dug into the bed, Mick’s hand gripping his own cock, stroking himself with abandon.
“Christ, I could come just looking at you,” Josef sounded almost reverent then. Mick was an open book, spread before him. Much to Mick’s chagrin, Josef suddenly withdrew his fingers completely and quickly rummaged through one of the bedside cabinet draws. “Five star hotel my ass,” he chuckled to himself as he found what he was looking for. In Josef’s experience, five star hotels didn’t usually offer complimentary bottles of KY jelly. Not that he was complaining. Rolling onto his back he slicked his cock with a generous amount of the viscous substance, and then reached for Mick.
Josef steadied Mick as Mick lowered himself onto Josef’s cock. Mick sucked in a sharp breath at the sensation of being filled, his teeth clenching as he squeezed his eyes shut, and listened to Josef’s whispered assurances.
His head hanging down, eyes still closed, and lips parted, Mick began to rock slowly back and forth, guided by Josef’s hands on his hips. “What are we doing?”
“I thought that was obvious?” Josef arched an eyebrow at Mick’s strange remark, and then raised himself into a seated position; Mick’s legs stretched out behind him then, his arms wrapped around Mick’s waist as they continued to move together.
“I don’t mean this,” Mick drew his own arms around Josef’s shoulders, clung to Josef’s back as the pace quickened, “I mean us, here, where is this headed?”
“Well I was kind of hoping we were headed for an earth shattering, mutually satisfying orgasm, Mick,” Josef deadpanned as he shifted his hand onto Mick’s cock.
“That’s not what I…”
Josef silenced Mick with a kiss, holding Mick’s face in his hands as he rested his forehead against Mick’s own. “Why don’t we save the post coital deconstruction for after the coital part?”
In one practiced move Josef changed their positions then, Mick beneath him, he on top. Mick’s legs were wrapped around Josef’s waist, his arms still drawn around Josef’s shoulders. Josef slipped a hand under Mick’s buttocks, and lifted Mick’s hips slightly, his other hand stroking, and caressing, exploring the muscular expanse of Mick’s body as he thrust into him. And then he was shortening his strokes, withdrawing his cock just enough to plunge back in again, the momentum building, harder and faster now, Mick clinging to Josef’s back, nails raked across flesh, and the two of them panting and growling as they headed towards the abyss.
For what seemed an age Mick hovered on the edge of no return, stretched taut and exquisite, desperate for release. He threw a hand onto his cock, pumping himself from base to tip as the rhythm of their coupling grew increasingly frenetic. And then Josef’s lips were press against Mick’s ear, his breath fanning hot against the side of Mick’s face, and Josef’s voice whispering, issuing a heated command.
“Come.”
It was all Mick needed to hear. The orgasm rushed through him in a flood of pleasure then; he was falling at a hundred miles an hour, his chest and abdomen wet with pulsations of fluid, the taste of blood filling his mouth as he sank his fangs into the top of Josef’s shoulder. Seconds later Josef joined him, his own fangs sunk deep into the side of Mick’s throat.
Mick took the weight of Josef’s body as Josef collapsed sated on top of him. They stayed like that a while, before reluctantly separating. Their limbs still entangled, Mick’s head now rested in the crook of Josef’s shoulder, they lay together in silent repletion, a light sheen of sweat dampening their skin.
“So what was that back there, Mick? With you going all deep and meaningful on me,” Josef broke the quietude, his voice kept deliberately light as he ran his fingers absentmindedly through Mick’s hair.
“It was nothing, just trying to process a new experience,” Mick moved a little closer, enjoying Josef’s affections. His relaxed attitude belied his inner turmoil. “I guess I didn’t expect it to feel as intimate as it did. I didn’t know I was going to feel that close to you, like we went beyond the boundaries in some way. It just threw me a bit.”
He had surrendered - they had surrendered - together. To what exactly Mick still wasn’t sure, it felt as if everything had changed, and yet somehow it remained the same.
“You’ll learn to cope with things better given time; you’re still young in vampire years,” Josef kissed the top of Mick’s head, before cocking his eyebrows and continuing breezily. “Besides, I did have my cock buried in your ass, Mick, all the way as a matter of fact. Just how close did you think we were going to get, short of me actually crawling inside you?”
Mick snorted a wry laugh, “Yeah, very funny. So I overreacted.”
“I wouldn’t call it an overreaction, more of a realisation.”
The sentence hung in the air between them, words left unspoken, a revelation of feelings that would go unacknowledged for decades.
“I was thinking I might look up that little girl Coraline kidnapped, see how she’s doing,” Mick remarked quietly as he changed the conversation.
“Sir Galahad rides in on his white horse once more. Remind me to buy you a suit of armour one of these days,” Josef chortled with amusement, a wry smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. He fell serious then. “You feel a responsibility to her?”
“I guess so,” Mick responded with an unconvincing shrug. “It was my ex who kidnapped her. I killed Coraline to save that child’s life”
“So now she owes you, is that it? Josef remarked matter of fact. “And how do you think she’s going to pay this debt of gratitude, with balloons and Barbie dolls?”
“She doesn’t owe me anything, she’s a child.” Mick sounded annoyed at Josef’s insinuations.
“Just be careful, I don’t want to see you get hurt,” Josef responded in muted tones, as he brushed a stray lock of hair from Mick’s forehead. “Sun’s almost up,” he pointed to a crack in the blinds.
“Guess we’re stuck here for the day then,” Mick didn’t sound too displeased at the idea. He hooked a leg over Josef’s thigh, and shifted closer.
“Well I don’t exactly relish the idea of driving back to the city while the sun’s up, tinted windows or not,” Josef held a splayed hand in front of him, looking over half-moons and striations of keratin as he casually inspected his finger nails. “Ever pass out at the wheel of a car, because you made the brilliant decision to try and accomplish an all-day check list of tasks during mortal hours?” Let me tell you, it kind of sucks, especially when you get hit with the bill.”
Josef’s eye rolling disdain elicited a note of merriment from Mick. “And what about this, you being here with me,” Shifting position slightly, Mick raised himself up on one elbow, his fingers tracing feather-light circles across Josef’s chest, “does this suck too?”
“Not yet, but I’m sure one of us will oblige eventually,” Josef was quick on the draw as he shot Mick an arched brow grin.
Mick ignored Josef’s burlesque. “I just didn’t think sticking around after the main event was exactly high on your list of priorities.”
“Depends on who I’m sticking around with,” Josef gave a lackadaisical shrug, and refused to elaborate further. He turned facing Mick then, one arm draped over Mick’s body, drawing him nearer. “I’d say we’ve got at least another twelve hours in this room,” Josef brushed his lips against Mick’s own, “I can think of at least a hundred different ways to pass the time, if you’re up for it.”
“Variations on a theme, hey?”
“More like variations on surrender.”
A knowing smile on his face, Josef lined his erection up with Mick’s own, his hand pressed into the small of Mick’s back as they began to ride up against one another.
Surrender. They had surrendered once together, hands clutching, lips and bodies seeking heated contact. Now they prepared to surrender once more. And deep down they knew, somehow things felt the same, and yet everything had changed - irrevocably, and forever.
Pairing: Josef/Mick
Rating: NC17
Disclaimer: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Summary: In the aftermath of Coraline's death, Mick is learning to navigate the world as a vampire. He turns to Josef for moral support and guidance. Intimacy ensues, and deeper emotions are hinted at.
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Mick wasn’t so much seated atop the car as he was standing on it, on the roof to be precise, bouncing on the balls of his feet, leaving small indentations in the fibreglass top.
“I get it; I get what it’s about. It’s like all this time it’s been right there in front of my face, and now I finally get it,” Mick rapid fired as Josef propped himself elegantly against the car’s bonnet, and stifled a lack lustre yawn.
“Get what, Mick?”
On Mick’s insistence they’d hired a car, and driven to the coast, parking near Santa Monica beach. Night had settled in. Josef watched a gull in the sky with passing interest. Mick had been ranting about nothing; it seemed, for the past few hours. Josef’s patience was beginning to wear thin.
“Knowing eternity, embracing the beast within, everything I ran from when Coraline was still alive,” Mick slid from the roof of the car, and hopped down beside Josef, his shoulders drawn back as he drank in the night air, “you must feel it too, the power, it’s like the darkness just energises you, man.”
“Of course,” Josef nodded sagely, “and after we’ve wrestled a pod of dolphins, we’ll go find a nice jungle to run through.”
“Hey, fuck you,” Mick shifted defensive then, his voice raising an octave as he thrust his chin forward in a display of false bravado. “I thought you were supposed to be helping me.”
“I am helping you, Mick. This is me helping you by refusing to do scenes from a nervous breakdown.”
Josef’s measured sarcasm only served to infuriate Mick further. He squared off, flecks of spittle gathering at the corners of his mouth as he prepared to let fly. And then the fight seemed to drain out of him. Mick’s shoulders sagged with defeat, they hadn’t driven all the way out here for him to start railing against the one person he thought could actually help.
Mick walked the few steps towards a low set wall that separated the parking lot from the sand, and took a seat. Hunkered over with hands shoved protectively into the pockets of his jacket he watched the night time shore line. The moon’s pale light scattered across the surface of the ocean as waves crested and broke; he wanted to dive beneath that foam tipped blackness.
“You know this suit cost me a small fortune,” Josef was sitting beside him then, one hand rested lightly on Mick’s shoulder.
Almost in spite of himself Mick laughed at Josef’s offhand remark, the message behind it was clear. Don’t even think about taking an impromptu dip and needing me to haul your ass out of that water, St John. He was touched by Josef’s concern, even the way it had been presented, gift wrapped with deadpanned witticism.
“I killed her. I plunged a stake into her heart, and I lit that fire, and I watched her burn,” Mick rested the weight of his body against Josef then, “She was my wife, she sired me; how am I supposed to process that. I need to establish an identity away from Coraline, or else I won’t survive.”
“And you decided raving lunatic or Vampire on the verge of turning rogue was a good fit.”
“No, Christ,” Mick sat up and scrubbed a frustrated hand over his face, “I don’t know, I feel like I’m flying blind here.”
“You’re not flying blind, Mick, not with me,” Josef brushed the line of Mick’s jaw with his hand, a gesture of tenderness that was withdrawn as quickly as it was offered. “You’ve managed to stand on your own two feet for the past twenty five or so years, with or without Coraline’s help. What makes you think that’s suddenly changed now she’s gone?”
“I don’t know, I just…Fuck!” Mick swore through gritted teeth, his earlier bravado all but evaporated. Mick’s continuing frustration at not being able to find the right words was becoming increasingly evident. “You and me, we’ve been friends for years, ever since Coraline first introduced us. I don’t want to lose that for a start,” he managed finally.
Josef shot Mick a sideways look, eyebrows raised in question. “So that whole ‘I am Vampire, hear me roar’ routine you had going earlier was your way of making sure I’d still be friends with you? Did I forget to mention there wasn’t an audition process?”
“Maybe with Coraline gone I didn’t want you seeing me as some sort of fledgling who’s been left behind, still trying to tag along with the real vamps.” Mick drew a thin gold case from his jacket pocket, and lit one of the cigars contained within; the ember glow of the tip distracting him from the conversation at hand. At any moment he expected Josef’s razor sharp wit to slice clean through. That moment never came. Instead he felt Josef’s hand on the back of his neck; drawing him closer, felt Josef’s gaze directed towards his own, their foreheads rested together.
“You haven’t been a fledgling in years, Mick,” Josef gently squeezed the nape of Mick’s neck, “and believe me, you’re not just some Vamp wannabe tag along. You mean a lot more to me than that.”
Mick closed his eyes, sensing a spark of energy that flowed between them, a connection that went beyond the established. He wasn’t sure how to respond. And then just as before, Josef’s sudden affection was being withdrawn as quickly as it had been given. Josef seemed almost embarrassed by the display.
“That’s the second time you’ve done that, gone all soft on me, and then backed off”, this time it was Mick’s turn to look at Josef askance, “I thought I was the one who was supposed to being having issues, what gives?”
“Nothing, maybe I just don’t fancy sitting here doing the whole kumbaya thing, Mick.”
Josef’s response had been a little too defensive, his tone a little too clipped. He was hiding something, Mick was sure of it.
“And maybe you like me more than you’re willing to admit,” Mick pushed further, “I mean it’s cool, man, I’m okay with it,” he added with all the jet-setting, man of the world attitude he could muster.
“How very modern of you,” Josef arched a facetious eyebrow, and snorted a dry laugh.
Mick cocked his head, and furrowed his brow at Josef’s response. “You’re not really big on expressing emotions, are you?”
“Actually, Mick, if you must know, you’re the first person in decades I’ve allowed to see even a glimpse of these so called emotions of mine you seem so keen on.” Despite the cynically polite overtones, there was a matter of fact honesty behind Josef’s revelation. Mick had been right; there was more to Josef’s side of their friendship than Josef had been willing to let on. Josef trusted Mick, more than he’d trusted anyone in a very long time. And there was more. Josef admired him, not only for the person Mick was, but for the remembrance of the person he had once been, before the loss, and loneliness of centuries had seen fit to armour him with such finely woven layers of cynicism. Somewhere along the line the admiration had begun to shift, became something more, a physical attraction that was more than just physical. Josef wasn’t sure he was ready to lay those particular cards on the table.
"Look, you’re grieving the loss of your wife, I get that, but sooner or later you’re going to have to face what happened, Mick. Coraline was out of control, you said so yourself,” Josef held up a steadying hand, “I think you’ve got enough on your plate, without me complicating things.”
Mick cupped Josef’s chin with his hand, and turned Josef’s face towards his. “Did you ever stop and think that maybe I might want to be complicated with you?” He spoke in earnest then.
Josef shook his head, and then pulled away. “You don’t know what you’re asking.”
“Yeah, I think I do. Complicated or not it makes more sense to me than anything else I’ve tried so far,” Mick wouldn’t be dissuaded, “There’s a five star hotel just near here. Come on, since when have you ever looked a gift horse in the mouth?”
“Since that gift horse tried to tap dance a hole in the roof of a car.”
“I’m not crazy, Josef,” again that same earnest tone. “Right now it feels like you’re the only real thing in this entire world to me, and all I want to do is surrender to that feeling, because believe me it beats the alternative.”
“Shit,” Josef raised his eyes skyward. “You know I’m going to regret this. Since when did you manage to turn me into Captain Sensible anyway,” he mustered a contemptuous smile then, “next thing you know you’ll have me wearing tweed jackets and comfortable tartan slippers.”
“I think they even supply matching pipes back at that hotel,” Mick grinned as he stood up.
“A word of advice, Mick,” Josef rose to his feet as well then, the line of his mouth drawn into a disarming smile as he took a couple of steps forward. “Lose the false bravado. You might have gotten away with a lot while Coraline was still alive, but that chip on your shoulder is like a red flag to a bull if you happen to run into the wrong sort of Vamp. Trust me, they’ll smell it a mile off, and you’re the one who’ll come off second best.”
"I can handle myself in a fight, Josef,” Mick rolled his eyes, and huffed indignantly. He felt miffed at Josef’s apparent lack of confidence in his abilities. It wasn’t as if he and Coraline hadn’t gotten into their fair share of scrapes over the past four decades or so; he’d learnt to pack a pretty mean punch in that time. “It’s not like I’m a fledgling anymore, you said so yourself, remember?”
“Okay,” Josef spread his hands in a gesture of placation, and then flew at Mick without warning, knocking him to the ground, before Mick had a chance to even think about mounting a defence. “You were saying?” Josef stretched out a hand to help Mick up, and dusted him off as Mick did his best to scowl convincingly enough to cover his wounded pride.
“Hey, that wasn’t a fair fight. I wasn’t even ready.”
“I hate to break it to you, but the majority of fights don’t tend to be all neat and choreographed with everyone standing around and waiting their turn.” Hands shoved casually in his coat pockets, Josef gave a noncommittal shrug as they walked side by side, “Besides, I thought you wanted my help.”
“I thought you said I could stand on my own two feet,” Mick countered.
“So I did, but everyone’s capable of making mistakes,” again that same noncommittal shrug, Josef kept his eyes fixed on the path in front of them. “I happen to care what happens to you, Mick. But then you already know that.”
“Yeah, I sort of figured it out,” Mick looked at Josef, and gave a crooked smile. “The fact that I can scent your arousal a mile off was kind of a give-away.”
“And yet you waited until now to tell me all this,” Josef snorted another laugh, a note of surprise crept into his voice.
“I thought you already knew, that I would have known, with the whole scent thing I mean.” Mick cleared his throat, and swallowed a nervous lump. It had been easy enough to figure out Josef had feelings for him; he hadn’t expected Josef to be surprised by that revelation.
Josef shook his head, “It doesn’t always work that way, Mick. A younger vampire’s ability to scent things isn’t as well developed as an older vamp’s, at least not always.”
“See, that’s why you and me, it’s not such a crazy idea,” Once more Mick was suddenly very animated as he stopped in the middle of the Boulevard and began to pace back and forth, punctuating his words with a series of determined gestures. “I’m not just talking about heading to a hotel, and surrendering for one night, or however long. You can teach me things, things Coraline never did. It’s what I need, I need to learn; I need to know who I am as a vampire. Josef, it’s what I want.”
“You don’t know what you want, Mick,” Josef called over his shoulder as he walked a few paces ahead.
“I want you.”
Josef stopped in his tracks, there was a depth of sincerity in the way Mick had said those words. He turned to face Mick then, saw the longing etched on his features, the pain and confusion, the grief that lay there. Without thinking he covered the short distance between them in one fluid rush of movement, and gathered Mick up in an embrace, his mouth crushed against Mick’s own.
“Don’t stop,” Mick murmured against Josef’s lips, “whatever you do, don’t stop kissing me.”
“Something tells me it might be a little difficult to try and co-ordinate walking and locking lips at the same time,” despite Mick’s pleas Josef reluctantly broke the kiss. “How far is that hotel from here?”
“Not far.”
“We should probably make a move then.”
Mick felt Josef’s body sway against his, matching the rhythm of the ocean’s swell, his arms still wrapped tight around Mick’s waist. Minutes later, it seemed, they were stumbling through the doorway of a hotel room, limbs tangling, their lips pressed together, clothes being shed along the way, desperate and urgent as they made their way towards the large sized bed in the far corner of the room.
The pace slowed as they fell in a heap on top of the covers. Mick shifted up to the top of the bed, stretched out supine, a pillow tucked behind his head. He waited for Josef to join him alongside.
Josef seemed to want to take his time then. Lying on his side, propped up on one shoulder, he traced a lazy hand across Mick’s chest, occasionally stopping to tweak one of Mick’s nipples between thumb and forefinger.
“You okay?”
“Yeah, I’m okay, come here,” Mick snaked an arm around Josef’s neck, and drew him down for a kiss. “I’m the one who wanted to be here, remember?”
“I can’t think why,” Josef chuckled as he feigned innocence, and wrapped a firm hand around the shaft of Mick’s cock.
“Oh, Jesus,” Mick arched into the sensation as Josef began to stroke a steady rhythm along his length, “that for a start.”
Josef circled the head of Mick’s cock with his thumb, eliciting a groan of approval. “You do of course realise I could keep this up for hours if I wanted to,” it was a passing remark, dripping with salaciousness. Josef’s other hand was questing lower, probing between the cheeks of Mick’s arse. He bent his lips to Mick’s ear then, “Just how far are you willing to go?”
“As long as I don’t have to think about anything beyond this bed, and this room, you can take me as far as you want.” Mick’s tangled his fingers in Josef’s hair, his mouth and tongue seeking heated contact once more. He deepened the kiss, tasting the rich scent of coppery blood, overlaid with Whiskey and fine Wine on Josef’s lips.
And then those same lips were tracing a path along his throat, leaving wet trails across his flesh as Josef continued lower, running the tip of his tongue down the line of Mick’s abdomen. Mick felt the muscles beneath his skin ripple with anticipation, his erection lying rigid and tense against his stomach. Josef paused when he reached the tip, and then snaked his tongue ever so lightly across the surface of the glans.
Josef groaned again, his lips pursed, “You’re going to make me beg, aren’t you?”
“Don’t sound so perturbed,” Josef raised his head and grinned; “a simple please will suffice.”
Mick mustered the most falsely charming smile he could manage, and said, “Please.” And then he was being jolted by shockwaves of pleasure as Josef engulfed him with his mouth and tongue. Eyes closed he drifted on the edge, Josef was right; he could keep him there for hours if he wanted to. Mick didn’t care, at the moment there was only arousal, and stimulation, and blissful surrender.
For the first time that evening, Mick wondered what else he was surrendering to. Was there something other than this, had he always known? He’d been drawn to Josef more and more since Coraline’s death.
“Just relax,” Josef was speaking then, urging Mick to draw his knees up. “You’ve never done this before, have you?” Two saliva coated fingers were pressed against Mick’s arsehole.
“This? No,” Mick shook his head, and swallowed back another rise in nerves.
“You still willing to let me take you as far as I want then?”
Josef pressed a little further, penetrating Mick’s space just a fraction of an inch.
“I’ve already come this far haven’t I?” Mick replied with far more confidence than he felt.
“That’s not an answer, Mick,” Josef nuzzled his face against the side of Mick’s throat, nipped at the tender flesh there.
Mick furrowed his brow, “Didn’t we already have this conversation; I thought we already established all this? I just don’t know what to expect. I’ve never done this before, remember?”
“You think I’m just going to jump on top of you, and start making with the happy?” Josef cocked his head, and gave a facetious smile. “It’s tempting, but I do happen to have a little more finesse than that.”
“Then show me,” Mick half muttered those words against Josef’s lips as he went in for another kiss. He could feel his erection waning, suddenly the thought of Josef’s finesse seemed incredibly appealing.
Josef’s fingers were moving inside him then, carefully stretching and penetrating. Mick grimaced a little at the initial discomfort, before he felt his muscles begin to relax. He drew his knees up further, felt a sensation of pressure building inside as Josef curled his fingers against a particular spot. And then that same pressure gradually shifted, becoming waves of intense pleasure.
“Oh fuck,” Mick groaned and bit down on his lip, drawing twin droplets of blood. Josef chased those droplets with his tongue, and then carefully withdrew his fingers in Mick’s arse just enough to add a third, revelling in the noises Mick was making, the way Mick’s heels dug into the bed, Mick’s hand gripping his own cock, stroking himself with abandon.
“Christ, I could come just looking at you,” Josef sounded almost reverent then. Mick was an open book, spread before him. Much to Mick’s chagrin, Josef suddenly withdrew his fingers completely and quickly rummaged through one of the bedside cabinet draws. “Five star hotel my ass,” he chuckled to himself as he found what he was looking for. In Josef’s experience, five star hotels didn’t usually offer complimentary bottles of KY jelly. Not that he was complaining. Rolling onto his back he slicked his cock with a generous amount of the viscous substance, and then reached for Mick.
Josef steadied Mick as Mick lowered himself onto Josef’s cock. Mick sucked in a sharp breath at the sensation of being filled, his teeth clenching as he squeezed his eyes shut, and listened to Josef’s whispered assurances.
His head hanging down, eyes still closed, and lips parted, Mick began to rock slowly back and forth, guided by Josef’s hands on his hips. “What are we doing?”
“I thought that was obvious?” Josef arched an eyebrow at Mick’s strange remark, and then raised himself into a seated position; Mick’s legs stretched out behind him then, his arms wrapped around Mick’s waist as they continued to move together.
“I don’t mean this,” Mick drew his own arms around Josef’s shoulders, clung to Josef’s back as the pace quickened, “I mean us, here, where is this headed?”
“Well I was kind of hoping we were headed for an earth shattering, mutually satisfying orgasm, Mick,” Josef deadpanned as he shifted his hand onto Mick’s cock.
“That’s not what I…”
Josef silenced Mick with a kiss, holding Mick’s face in his hands as he rested his forehead against Mick’s own. “Why don’t we save the post coital deconstruction for after the coital part?”
In one practiced move Josef changed their positions then, Mick beneath him, he on top. Mick’s legs were wrapped around Josef’s waist, his arms still drawn around Josef’s shoulders. Josef slipped a hand under Mick’s buttocks, and lifted Mick’s hips slightly, his other hand stroking, and caressing, exploring the muscular expanse of Mick’s body as he thrust into him. And then he was shortening his strokes, withdrawing his cock just enough to plunge back in again, the momentum building, harder and faster now, Mick clinging to Josef’s back, nails raked across flesh, and the two of them panting and growling as they headed towards the abyss.
For what seemed an age Mick hovered on the edge of no return, stretched taut and exquisite, desperate for release. He threw a hand onto his cock, pumping himself from base to tip as the rhythm of their coupling grew increasingly frenetic. And then Josef’s lips were press against Mick’s ear, his breath fanning hot against the side of Mick’s face, and Josef’s voice whispering, issuing a heated command.
“Come.”
It was all Mick needed to hear. The orgasm rushed through him in a flood of pleasure then; he was falling at a hundred miles an hour, his chest and abdomen wet with pulsations of fluid, the taste of blood filling his mouth as he sank his fangs into the top of Josef’s shoulder. Seconds later Josef joined him, his own fangs sunk deep into the side of Mick’s throat.
Mick took the weight of Josef’s body as Josef collapsed sated on top of him. They stayed like that a while, before reluctantly separating. Their limbs still entangled, Mick’s head now rested in the crook of Josef’s shoulder, they lay together in silent repletion, a light sheen of sweat dampening their skin.
“So what was that back there, Mick? With you going all deep and meaningful on me,” Josef broke the quietude, his voice kept deliberately light as he ran his fingers absentmindedly through Mick’s hair.
“It was nothing, just trying to process a new experience,” Mick moved a little closer, enjoying Josef’s affections. His relaxed attitude belied his inner turmoil. “I guess I didn’t expect it to feel as intimate as it did. I didn’t know I was going to feel that close to you, like we went beyond the boundaries in some way. It just threw me a bit.”
He had surrendered - they had surrendered - together. To what exactly Mick still wasn’t sure, it felt as if everything had changed, and yet somehow it remained the same.
“You’ll learn to cope with things better given time; you’re still young in vampire years,” Josef kissed the top of Mick’s head, before cocking his eyebrows and continuing breezily. “Besides, I did have my cock buried in your ass, Mick, all the way as a matter of fact. Just how close did you think we were going to get, short of me actually crawling inside you?”
Mick snorted a wry laugh, “Yeah, very funny. So I overreacted.”
“I wouldn’t call it an overreaction, more of a realisation.”
The sentence hung in the air between them, words left unspoken, a revelation of feelings that would go unacknowledged for decades.
“I was thinking I might look up that little girl Coraline kidnapped, see how she’s doing,” Mick remarked quietly as he changed the conversation.
“Sir Galahad rides in on his white horse once more. Remind me to buy you a suit of armour one of these days,” Josef chortled with amusement, a wry smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. He fell serious then. “You feel a responsibility to her?”
“I guess so,” Mick responded with an unconvincing shrug. “It was my ex who kidnapped her. I killed Coraline to save that child’s life”
“So now she owes you, is that it? Josef remarked matter of fact. “And how do you think she’s going to pay this debt of gratitude, with balloons and Barbie dolls?”
“She doesn’t owe me anything, she’s a child.” Mick sounded annoyed at Josef’s insinuations.
“Just be careful, I don’t want to see you get hurt,” Josef responded in muted tones, as he brushed a stray lock of hair from Mick’s forehead. “Sun’s almost up,” he pointed to a crack in the blinds.
“Guess we’re stuck here for the day then,” Mick didn’t sound too displeased at the idea. He hooked a leg over Josef’s thigh, and shifted closer.
“Well I don’t exactly relish the idea of driving back to the city while the sun’s up, tinted windows or not,” Josef held a splayed hand in front of him, looking over half-moons and striations of keratin as he casually inspected his finger nails. “Ever pass out at the wheel of a car, because you made the brilliant decision to try and accomplish an all-day check list of tasks during mortal hours?” Let me tell you, it kind of sucks, especially when you get hit with the bill.”
Josef’s eye rolling disdain elicited a note of merriment from Mick. “And what about this, you being here with me,” Shifting position slightly, Mick raised himself up on one elbow, his fingers tracing feather-light circles across Josef’s chest, “does this suck too?”
“Not yet, but I’m sure one of us will oblige eventually,” Josef was quick on the draw as he shot Mick an arched brow grin.
Mick ignored Josef’s burlesque. “I just didn’t think sticking around after the main event was exactly high on your list of priorities.”
“Depends on who I’m sticking around with,” Josef gave a lackadaisical shrug, and refused to elaborate further. He turned facing Mick then, one arm draped over Mick’s body, drawing him nearer. “I’d say we’ve got at least another twelve hours in this room,” Josef brushed his lips against Mick’s own, “I can think of at least a hundred different ways to pass the time, if you’re up for it.”
“Variations on a theme, hey?”
“More like variations on surrender.”
A knowing smile on his face, Josef lined his erection up with Mick’s own, his hand pressed into the small of Mick’s back as they began to ride up against one another.
Surrender. They had surrendered once together, hands clutching, lips and bodies seeking heated contact. Now they prepared to surrender once more. And deep down they knew, somehow things felt the same, and yet everything had changed - irrevocably, and forever.