Lessons in Paradox
Title: Lessons in Paradox
Pairing: Josef/Mick
Rating: NC17
Warnings: Domination/submission, Consensual Restraint, Corporal Punishment, Knife Play, and Fear Play.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Summary: Response to a Fic Challenge/Request. After being re-turned, Mick is finding the bloodlust hard to control. And Josef decides to teach Mick a lesson in paradox.
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“Mick, how nice to see you. I was wondering when…” Josef’s laissez faire greeting caught in his throat when he saw the state his friend was in. “Christ, what’s happened. You look like you’ve been chased by the hounds of hell. Come in.”
His brow furrowed with concern, Josef watched as Mick stumbled through the open doorway. Mick’s clothes were in disarray. His shirt stained with smears of blood.
Josef led Mick down the hallway to a private sitting room, waiting for him to settle into one of the black leather couches that lined the wall. A glass of fresh blood pressed into Mick’s hand.
“Here, drink this.” Josef instructed, “Even by Vamp standards you’re as white as a sheet.”
Mick accepted the beverage gratefully, and downed a few quick mouthfuls. Satisfied that his friend was at least beginning to show some improvement, Josef took a seat on one of the armchairs opposite. His focus honed on Mick, his concern still apparent.
“I killed someone last night.” Mick drained the remaining contents of his glass. Hands visibly trembling as he stammered out the words.
Josef bit his tongue and fought back the urge to say, ‘congratulations’.
“Ok,” Josef tented his fingers against his lips for a moment, “I take it you don’t mean your usual ‘good guy bad guy’ scenario.”
Mick shook his head, “No. A Freshie, some girl I met at a downtown bar.”
“Ah.” Josef grinned, and reached for his own glass of blood on the table in front of him, raising it in a toast, “So you’ve finally decided to give up that low fat soy vegan rubbish you’ve been drinking, and rejoin the fold. Good for you. Now that, I believe, calls for a celeb-”
“-I drained her.”
Josef furrowed his brow, and looked puzzled. “Well that is what Vampires do sometimes, Mick. Not all Freshies are meant to be a long term commitment…”
“…No, you don’t understand,” Mick scrubbed frustrated hands over his face, and then perched on the edge of his seat. The blade of his hand slicing the air, “I lost control, man. I lost control, and it’s not the first time it’s happened either. Ever since you turned me back, the blood lust has been insane. It wasn’t even like this when Coraline first made me into a Vampire. What the hell did you do to me?”
“Exactly what you begged me to do, Mick.” Josef’s words were clipped. His expression darkened.
“Shit.” Mick’s own expression fell contrite. Head buried in his hands once more, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean…I’m sorry, I’m…”
“I heard you the first time, Mick.”
They both fell silent. Each occupied with his own thoughts. Seconds ticked by, turning into minutes. And then Josef was getting to his feet, and excusing himself with a hurried, “I’m going to make some phone calls, ok?”
Josef returned moments later. The line of his mouth drawn into a confident smile, he took a seat on the couch next to Mick.
“Mick,” Josef’s hand brushed the line of Mick’s jaw, fingers stroking concern from Mick’s brow, “You didn’t kill anyone.”
“But how,” Mick’s expression scrunched with confusion, “I don’t get it, I left her dead in that alleyway.”
“Unconscious, Mick, not dead. I’ve just spoken to the Cleaners. There was no body there when they arrived. They assumed you must have panicked and called in a false report.”
“Christ,” Mick’s relief was palpable, shoulders sagging as he slumped back into his seat, “I was so sure, I mean I was...she looked so lifeless.”
“Well, apparently she wasn’t.” Josef’s elbow nudged the side of Mick’s ribcage, “So I guess you can let yourself off the hook.”
“No,” Mick sat forward again, and shook his head, “I still lost control. Josef, I might not have killed that girl, but I wanted to, and I could have.” Mick turned to Josef then, his face a mask of self doubt, and fear, “What if it was Beth?”
“Come here,” Josef drew an arm around Mick’s shoulders. Mick’s head rested against his shoulder. Josef’s lips brushed the top of Mick’s head, “have you seen Beth since all of this?”
“No, I can’t,” Mick drew an unneeded breath, and settled further into the embrace, strength drawn from comforting familiarity. “I don’t trust myself around her. Not until I know how to stop this.”
“Go and have a shower,” Josef broke the embrace a few moments later; carefully disengaging Mick from his arms, and holding Mick at arms length, “get cleaned up, you can borrow one of my robes. I’ll have the maid service take care of your clothes.”
Mick hesitated, and then nodded his assent. Shoulders slumped dejected, and movements uncharacteristically stiff as he made his way to the bathroom; a tepid spray of water washing away blood, and bad memory.
Mick returned several minutes later. Hair dampened with droplets of moisture. A silk robe belted loosely around his unclad form.
“That was quick.” Josef forced a nonchalant smile, and reached for the decanter of Scotch on the table in front of him. A stiff measure poured into a tumbler, the dusky liquid burning his throat as he downed a few quick mouthfuls.
Mick chortled with wry amusement. He was well aware of Josef’s attraction to him. He could scent Josef’s arousal. Feel the crackle of electricity in the room. Josef as always; did his level best to take cover behind a smokescreen of distraction, and denial.
Mick took a seat back on the couch, robe pulled tighter around his body. And then Josef was draining the last dregs of his scotch, and squatting on the floor beside Mick.
“Mick,” Josef reached a hand up to cup Mick’s chin. The other hand rested on Mick’s thigh, “do you trust me?”
“Yeah, of course.” Mick’s expression fell puzzled. His brow furrowed.
“No, I mean do you really trust me,” Josef spoke in earnest. His focused honed on Mick, “I might be able to help you, but I need you to be honest with me, Mick. Do you trust me?”
Mick knew then that Josef meant more than just knowing your best friend would always have your back.
“I trust you.” Mick drew an unneeded breath, and nodded his affirmation. If Josef could help him regain control, he would trust him to the ends of the earth and back.
“Good,” Josef paused for a moment. Head tilted. The line of his mouth drawn into an intriguing smile, Then you know what sort of games I like to indulge in on occasion.”
Mick knew. Mick had known for some years. Back when Coraline was still a presence in his life. Back as far as then, Mick had known about Josef’s predilection for leather, and all its associated kinks. He had even attended a couple of Josef’s private parties, as a curious observer.
Now Josef wanted to take him from observation, to participation. As if to confirm that thought, Josef slid upwards. His lips pressed against Mick’s ear.
A smokescreen of distraction, and denial, faded then. “I can teach you control, Mick.” Josef’s words fanned hot, “play with me.”
Josef sat back on his haunches then. A studied eye trained on Mick’s face, waiting for Mick to respond.
“So, you tie me up, and whip me, and that’s supposed to help me regain control over my inner Vampire?” Mick arched a disbelieving eyebrow.
“If you want to simplify it like that,” Josef gave a half hearted shrug, and then threw Mick a flippant smile, “but, no, that isn’t quite what I had in mind.”
Arms folded across his chest, Mick waited for Josef to explain exactly what he did have in mind.
“You spend so much time and energy, trying to maintain control.” Josef shifted from the floor, to sit beside Mick.
“What other choice do I have? I can’t just let my inner Vampire run wild,” Mick looked incredulous. They had been through this before. He thought Josef understood. “I’m trying to start a relationship with a mortal. I have to maintain control.”
“And how’s that been working out for you?” Josef arched a facetious eyebrow. It was a rhetorical question. His point made, Josef continued, “Mick, no one, Vampire or otherwise, could ever hope to keep that sort of tightly held control going on an extended basis. Sooner or later, something is going to give.”
“I still don’t see how…”
“Give up that control,” Josef shifted closer. “Scene with me. Let me show you what can be achieved when you let someone else take command.”
Mick’s uncertainty began to waver.
“What have you got to lose?” Mick heard Josef saying to him then, “If it doesn’t work, you’ll at least be able to chalk one up for experience. And if it does…” Josef circled a hand to complete the sentence.
A few moments more of uncertainty; and Mick was drawing in a sharp breath, and nodding his agreement, “Ok.”
“Come with me.” Josef stood up, and extended his hand.
And then Mick was being lead along a series of corridors, towards a room hidden away at the back of the house. An area reserved for Josef’s ‘private’ guests.
“You’ve renovated,” Mick looked around the small, windowless room. The walls painted black. Various iron towers, and wooden constructions illuminated under a glow of red light. “It looks very…”
“BDSM?” Josef finished with overtones of exaggerated helpfulness.
“Yeah, that.” Mick cleared his throat, and averted his eyes for a moment, “So what happens now, what do I do?”
“You do what I tell you to do, Mick,” brow arched, Josef flashed Mick a devastating smile. “First things first though.”
Josef began to run through a checklist of various activities. Negotiating the scene he called it. What was Mick prepared to do, what were his limits?
“No limits.” Mick shrugged, “If we’re going to do this we might as well do it properly. In for a dime, in for a dollar.”
“Oh, ok,” Josef raised a sardonic eyebrow, and affected a challenging stance, “So if I was to break every single bone in your body, you’d be fine with that, would you? What about the rape, and torture of an innocent at my command, you’re happy to go along with that as well?”
“What?” Mick recoiled, completely taken aback by Josef’s words, “Christ, no.”
“Then you have limits, Mick.”
“Yeah, alright.” Mick muttered a sheepish note of agreement, and then hurriedly stammered out a list of things he wasn’t prepared to do, and those he might be persuaded to engage in.
Josef nodded a curt approval, and then made his way over to a steel door cupboard on the far side of the room.
“Take your robe off, I want you naked.” Josef tossed Mick a quick instruction over his shoulder as he proceeded to take an inventory of the cupboards contents. Each item carefully considered. And then accepted, or rejected in turn.
“Ok, now…” Before Mick could finish his sentence, Josef had covered the distance between them. A leather collar and chain link leash attached around Mick’s neck. Mick’s face pulled close to Josef’s own.
“Now, you’re mine.”
Josef’s demeanour noticeably shifted, voice low and presence commanding. The role of Dominant performed with relish. And Mick had to admit, Josef played the lead well.
“Ok,” Mick arched an eyebrow at Josef, the beginnings of a smile playing over his features, “So what do you want me to do, Master?”
Mick found himself being spun around then. Four stinging blows of a riding crop delivered to his bare behind.
“Jesus Christ,” Mick winced, more at the shock of sensation than anything else, “Ok, that hurt.”
“It’s supposed to hurt, Mick.” Josef caressed the leather tress across Mick’s buttocks.
“Yeah, well,” Mick’s voice held a distinct note of indignation, “do you think you could possibly try and not do it so damn hard.”
For his trouble, Mick received another four strikes, rained in quick succession. And then Josef was spinning Mick back around to face him. One hand gripped the leash around Mick’s throat tight. The other dug painful fingers into the line of Mick’s jaw.
“Use the safe words I gave you if you want me to back off, or stop, Mick.” Josef relaxed his vice like hold on Mick’s face, and shifted further into Mick’s space. His lips pressed against Mick’s ear, whispering an illusion of menace, “And you don’t speak unless I give you permission.”
Josef stepped back, and ushered a snapped command of, “Kneel”. Mick forced to his knees by a hard downwards yank on the collar, and leash that encircled his neck.
Looking down at Mick, from his standing vantage, Josef wasn’t sure if Mick was going to bark, sit up and beg, burst out laughing, or a combination of all three. The expression Mick wore seemed more akin to a grinning child’s game. Not that Josef minded necessarily. Mick clearly did not possess a naturally submissive bone in his undead body, and there was nothing wrong with playing a scene for fun.
Josef needed for Mick to be transported into another state of being entirely though. If he was going to have any chance of proving that a relinquishment of control did not always equate to a catastrophic loss thereof. He continued to caress the end of the riding crop over Mick’s unclad flesh. Running it across Mick’s chest, and then down along Mick’s torso whilst he pondered their current dilemma.
And then Mick found himself being hauled to his feet, and hurriedly manoeuvred towards a square pole in the middle of the room. Arms forced above his head. Wrists locked and manacled.
“Don’t go anywhere,” Josef pressed the side of a fist against his mouth, and stifled a laugh at his own joke; “I’ll be back in a moment.”
“Yeah ok, Josef,” Mick rolled his eyes, and drew the line of his mouth into a locked lip smile, “and just where exactly do you think I’m going to go in my current position?”
Again Mick felt the stinging bite of leather connecting with bare flesh.
“Those cuffs that are holding you are made from one hundred percent titanium alloy steel as well, Mick,” Josef stated matter of fact as he stepped back to inspect his handiwork. Admiring the contrast of red stripes across the backdrop of pale skin, “So don’t think you can try and get out of them either.”
Josef waited until he was certain Mick had fallen obediently silent, and then delivered another sharp crack of the whip to Mick’s exposed buttocks.
Mick opened his mouth to protest, but Josef had already pre-empted him.
“The first three, were for speaking without permission.” Josef pressed his lips once more to Mick’s ear. His breath fanned hot across the side of Mick’s face. “The fourth was just because I felt like it.”
“Sadist.” Mick called after Josef’s retreating form. As Josef turned heel, and began to stride from the room.
“Thank you.” Josef threw back at Mick with the sarcastic wave of a hand over his shoulder.
Josef returned a few moments later. Blindfold and thick leather gloves in hand, a third and fourth item hidden in the pockets of his pants. Josef’s gaze locked together with Mick’s. A devilish smile drew the corners of his mouth upwards. The gloves slowly pulled over his hands in an exaggerated display.
Mick’s nerves rose exponentially. His imagination creating all manner of potential scenarios that involved the use of leather clad hands. And then Josef had him blindfolded, the resultant loss of sense only serving to heighten Mick’s anticipation.
“What is…?” Mick caught himself just in time. Something metal cold and sharp pressed against his skin.
“You can speak if you want, Mick.” Josef’s tone was nonchalant. His manner casual, and unaffected, “What do you think it is?”
“It feels like a knife.” Mick drew an unneeded breath, and swallowed nervously.
“And you’d be right,” again the same nonchalant tone, same unaffected manner. “A silver knife to be exact.”
Mick felt the hairs on the back of his neck prick up. “Bullshit, you wouldn’t”
“Oh wouldn’t I?” Josef nicked the surface of Mick’s skin, just enough to allow Mick to feel the first hint of pain, and sickness.
“Jesus…” Adrenalin began to flow through Mick’s body. His voice reduced to a low whisper.
“And yes, it’s sharp.” Mick felt his head being forced back then. The edge of the knife pressed against his exposed throat, “Very sharp as a matter of fact. So I suggest you keep perfectly still, and do what I tell you to do. Is that understood?”
Without waiting for an answer, Josef began to run the blade over Mick’s expanse of naked flesh. Alternating between sensuous caress and a countenance of rapid fire slashes that caused Mick to gasp and bite down on his lower lip in anticipation of the pain that never followed.
Mick closed his eyes behind the covering of the blindfold, and silently prayed Josef knew what he was doing. It felt like he did, how long had he been doing this again?
Mick was finding it difficult to keep focus, strange, because his senses had sharpened to a finely tuned point. The world at once seemed to slip away, and then converge into an acutely heightened awareness of space and time. And Christ this was turning him on, his cock hardening with ever increasing arousal. Josef was running the blade between his legs now, the heel of the knife thrust up against Mick’s perineum.
With the absolute certainty of knowledge born from centuries of experience, Josef understood what was happening then. He would need to tread carefully from hereon in. Even if Mick had wanted to use the safe words provided, Josef doubted him capable of speech.
This is the part Josef had always loved the most. The both of them locked together in an intensely focused dance of domination and submission.
“Trust me.”
Words whispered, registering through an altered state of awareness. And then Mick felt the tip of a knife being pressed against his anus, the blade penetrating his body.
Unbeknownst to Mick, Josef had swapped his previous weapon of choice for a perfectly blunt, perfectly safe dull edged replica. Mick had no way of knowing that though. As far as his fevered imagination was concerned, Josef was fucking him with something very sharp, and very dangerous. The slightest wrong move, the smallest slip in the wrong direction, and he would be facing a world of pain, and gut wrenching sickness.
And Jesus this was still turning him on. Mick’s mind struggled to comprehend that fact. His entire body rushed with the Adrenalin that coursed through it now. Blood fuelled heart pounding rapidly in his throat, an intensity of fear turning his veins to ice. And as soon as Josef touched his cock, Mick knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that he was going to come harder than he had ever imagined possible.
And then Josef did just that. Sinking to his own knees in front of Mick, and taking Mick’s erection into his mouth, Josef began to work his lips and tongue expertly along Mick’s length. Seconds later Mick exploded in a frenzy of pleasure. Back arched, arms straining against the shackles that bound his wrists above his head. Muscles tensed, and then quick snap released. Pulsations of fluid hit the back of Josef’s throat in rapid fire succession.
Josef waited until he had swallowed the last few drops, and then hurriedly unlocked the manacles that held Mick in restraint. Mick felt hands lowering him to the floor then, Josef’s voice instructing, “Take it easy, don’t try and stand up too soon.” Those same hands brushing the line of his jaw, fingers stroked across Mick’s forehead. A glass of fresh blood quickly fetched and pressed into Mick’s hand, “Drink.”
It took a while, but slowly Mick felt himself beginning to reconnect. Finding voice to try and express what had just happened. The words themselves didn’t come so easily.
“Jesus, that was…”
“…intense?”
No, intense didn’t cover it. Intense was Coraline riding him like a bitch in a heat, driving herself onto his cock until it seemed she had managed to drain every last drop of fluid in his body. This...This had been something else entirely.
“Do you want me to stay with you,” Josef’s fingers continued to trace the contours of Mick’s face. A simple gesture of affection designed to offer comfort and reassurance, “Or would you rather be left alone for a while.”
Mick shook his head strenuously, “No, stay, please.”
“Ok.” Josef nodded his understanding, and acceptance. Shifting closer then, allowing Mick to come into his embrace.
“Why would you think I wanted to be left alone after something like that?” Josef heard Mick asking him a few moments later. Mick’s brow scrunched with puzzlement.
“Some people prefer it,” Josef shrugged, and pressed his lips to the top of Mick’s head, his tone of voice kept matter of fact. “Subspace can be an intensely personal experience. People react to it in different ways.”
“Sub…?”
“…Subspace. That altered state of consciousness you were in before. That’s what it’s called.”
Mick seemed to consider this for a moment. “I still don’t get how this is supposed to help me with…Wait,” Realisation began to dawn on him then. Mick suddenly sitting bolt upright, turning to face Josef. Eyes wide and voice racing, “I didn’t vamp out. When I came, I should have vamped out; I should have been unable to fight the urge to bite down, even if it meant having to bite into my own skin. That’s how it happens; it’s how it’s always happened.”
“Not always, Mick,” Josef grinned, and arched a knowing eyebrow, “Haven’t I just proven that to you?”
“Yeah, yeah you did,” Mick’s voice was couched in confusion, the line of his brow once more etched in a question, “So how exactly am I supposed to apply this new found knowledge? What, Beth ties me up, torments me with a knife, and somehow that will lead to us being able to have normal relations like any other couple?”
“No, of course not.” Josef scoffed indignantly, “But at least you understand now that your inner vampire is not some out of control beast that needs to be reigned in at every single turn. Consider it a lesson in paradox. You have to learn to relax, and let go more, my friend.”
“Says the man who suffers fits of paranoia, and rants about torch bearing mobs.” Mick chuckled.
“Touché.”
They each fell into a protracted silence then. Mick lying in Josef’s arms, his head rested against Josef’s shoulder. In the stillness of the room, Mick thought he finally understood. The tighter he had held onto his precious sense of control, the more out of control he had become. It made sense that the opposite might just be the paradoxical truth.
“I should probably go soon,” Mick broke the silence a few moments later, stretching, and stifling a yawn. “I really need to hit the freezer.”
“I’ll see if the Maid service has finished with your clothes,” Josef carefully extricated Mick from his embrace. “In the meantime you’re welcome to borrow my icebox for a few hours.”
“Thanks.”
Josef watched after Mick’s retreating form, as Mick stood up and made his way bleary eyed toward some much needed rest, and reflection. Mick still wasn’t sure he could entirely process what he had just experienced. Surely the answer couldn’t be that easy. Despite his previous sense of understanding, Mick’s doubts remained.
Two weeks later he was back on Josef’s doorstep, looking in significantly better shape than the last time he had been there.
“You sealed the deal, didn’t you?” Josef took one look at the ridiculously wide grin on Mick’s face, and declared in an instant.
“Is it that obvious?” Mick laughed, still grinning like a Cheshire cat.
“Come in.” Josef ushered Mick inside, and fetched a bottle of his finest Cognac. Such a momentous occasion called for a bit of up market celebration. “Well, how was it?”
Mick accepted the glass being pressed into his hand, and tried to act nonchalant, “It was ok, I guess.”
“It was ok, you guess?” Josef rolled his eyes, and snorted an incredulous laugh. “Mr Celibacy, two decades running, finally gets laid, and that’s all you can say for yourself. ‘It was ok, I guess’. That grin plastered all over your face says otherwise, Mick.”
“Yeah ok,” Mick relented, “it was great, better than I remembered. Only…”
“What?”
“I still felt like I was holding back, not letting go enough.” Mick furrowed his brow, a frustrated look falling over his features. And then he was moving off the couch he sat on, and shifting into Josef’s space. His arms around Josef’s neck, lips pressed against Josef’s ear. “I think I might need some more of those lessons of yours, about giving up control.”
Josef arched a surprised eyebrow, a grin forming over his own features.
“Come with me.”
Pairing: Josef/Mick
Rating: NC17
Warnings: Domination/submission, Consensual Restraint, Corporal Punishment, Knife Play, and Fear Play.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognisable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Summary: Response to a Fic Challenge/Request. After being re-turned, Mick is finding the bloodlust hard to control. And Josef decides to teach Mick a lesson in paradox.
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“Mick, how nice to see you. I was wondering when…” Josef’s laissez faire greeting caught in his throat when he saw the state his friend was in. “Christ, what’s happened. You look like you’ve been chased by the hounds of hell. Come in.”
His brow furrowed with concern, Josef watched as Mick stumbled through the open doorway. Mick’s clothes were in disarray. His shirt stained with smears of blood.
Josef led Mick down the hallway to a private sitting room, waiting for him to settle into one of the black leather couches that lined the wall. A glass of fresh blood pressed into Mick’s hand.
“Here, drink this.” Josef instructed, “Even by Vamp standards you’re as white as a sheet.”
Mick accepted the beverage gratefully, and downed a few quick mouthfuls. Satisfied that his friend was at least beginning to show some improvement, Josef took a seat on one of the armchairs opposite. His focus honed on Mick, his concern still apparent.
“I killed someone last night.” Mick drained the remaining contents of his glass. Hands visibly trembling as he stammered out the words.
Josef bit his tongue and fought back the urge to say, ‘congratulations’.
“Ok,” Josef tented his fingers against his lips for a moment, “I take it you don’t mean your usual ‘good guy bad guy’ scenario.”
Mick shook his head, “No. A Freshie, some girl I met at a downtown bar.”
“Ah.” Josef grinned, and reached for his own glass of blood on the table in front of him, raising it in a toast, “So you’ve finally decided to give up that low fat soy vegan rubbish you’ve been drinking, and rejoin the fold. Good for you. Now that, I believe, calls for a celeb-”
“-I drained her.”
Josef furrowed his brow, and looked puzzled. “Well that is what Vampires do sometimes, Mick. Not all Freshies are meant to be a long term commitment…”
“…No, you don’t understand,” Mick scrubbed frustrated hands over his face, and then perched on the edge of his seat. The blade of his hand slicing the air, “I lost control, man. I lost control, and it’s not the first time it’s happened either. Ever since you turned me back, the blood lust has been insane. It wasn’t even like this when Coraline first made me into a Vampire. What the hell did you do to me?”
“Exactly what you begged me to do, Mick.” Josef’s words were clipped. His expression darkened.
“Shit.” Mick’s own expression fell contrite. Head buried in his hands once more, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean…I’m sorry, I’m…”
“I heard you the first time, Mick.”
They both fell silent. Each occupied with his own thoughts. Seconds ticked by, turning into minutes. And then Josef was getting to his feet, and excusing himself with a hurried, “I’m going to make some phone calls, ok?”
Josef returned moments later. The line of his mouth drawn into a confident smile, he took a seat on the couch next to Mick.
“Mick,” Josef’s hand brushed the line of Mick’s jaw, fingers stroking concern from Mick’s brow, “You didn’t kill anyone.”
“But how,” Mick’s expression scrunched with confusion, “I don’t get it, I left her dead in that alleyway.”
“Unconscious, Mick, not dead. I’ve just spoken to the Cleaners. There was no body there when they arrived. They assumed you must have panicked and called in a false report.”
“Christ,” Mick’s relief was palpable, shoulders sagging as he slumped back into his seat, “I was so sure, I mean I was...she looked so lifeless.”
“Well, apparently she wasn’t.” Josef’s elbow nudged the side of Mick’s ribcage, “So I guess you can let yourself off the hook.”
“No,” Mick sat forward again, and shook his head, “I still lost control. Josef, I might not have killed that girl, but I wanted to, and I could have.” Mick turned to Josef then, his face a mask of self doubt, and fear, “What if it was Beth?”
“Come here,” Josef drew an arm around Mick’s shoulders. Mick’s head rested against his shoulder. Josef’s lips brushed the top of Mick’s head, “have you seen Beth since all of this?”
“No, I can’t,” Mick drew an unneeded breath, and settled further into the embrace, strength drawn from comforting familiarity. “I don’t trust myself around her. Not until I know how to stop this.”
“Go and have a shower,” Josef broke the embrace a few moments later; carefully disengaging Mick from his arms, and holding Mick at arms length, “get cleaned up, you can borrow one of my robes. I’ll have the maid service take care of your clothes.”
Mick hesitated, and then nodded his assent. Shoulders slumped dejected, and movements uncharacteristically stiff as he made his way to the bathroom; a tepid spray of water washing away blood, and bad memory.
Mick returned several minutes later. Hair dampened with droplets of moisture. A silk robe belted loosely around his unclad form.
“That was quick.” Josef forced a nonchalant smile, and reached for the decanter of Scotch on the table in front of him. A stiff measure poured into a tumbler, the dusky liquid burning his throat as he downed a few quick mouthfuls.
Mick chortled with wry amusement. He was well aware of Josef’s attraction to him. He could scent Josef’s arousal. Feel the crackle of electricity in the room. Josef as always; did his level best to take cover behind a smokescreen of distraction, and denial.
Mick took a seat back on the couch, robe pulled tighter around his body. And then Josef was draining the last dregs of his scotch, and squatting on the floor beside Mick.
“Mick,” Josef reached a hand up to cup Mick’s chin. The other hand rested on Mick’s thigh, “do you trust me?”
“Yeah, of course.” Mick’s expression fell puzzled. His brow furrowed.
“No, I mean do you really trust me,” Josef spoke in earnest. His focused honed on Mick, “I might be able to help you, but I need you to be honest with me, Mick. Do you trust me?”
Mick knew then that Josef meant more than just knowing your best friend would always have your back.
“I trust you.” Mick drew an unneeded breath, and nodded his affirmation. If Josef could help him regain control, he would trust him to the ends of the earth and back.
“Good,” Josef paused for a moment. Head tilted. The line of his mouth drawn into an intriguing smile, Then you know what sort of games I like to indulge in on occasion.”
Mick knew. Mick had known for some years. Back when Coraline was still a presence in his life. Back as far as then, Mick had known about Josef’s predilection for leather, and all its associated kinks. He had even attended a couple of Josef’s private parties, as a curious observer.
Now Josef wanted to take him from observation, to participation. As if to confirm that thought, Josef slid upwards. His lips pressed against Mick’s ear.
A smokescreen of distraction, and denial, faded then. “I can teach you control, Mick.” Josef’s words fanned hot, “play with me.”
Josef sat back on his haunches then. A studied eye trained on Mick’s face, waiting for Mick to respond.
“So, you tie me up, and whip me, and that’s supposed to help me regain control over my inner Vampire?” Mick arched a disbelieving eyebrow.
“If you want to simplify it like that,” Josef gave a half hearted shrug, and then threw Mick a flippant smile, “but, no, that isn’t quite what I had in mind.”
Arms folded across his chest, Mick waited for Josef to explain exactly what he did have in mind.
“You spend so much time and energy, trying to maintain control.” Josef shifted from the floor, to sit beside Mick.
“What other choice do I have? I can’t just let my inner Vampire run wild,” Mick looked incredulous. They had been through this before. He thought Josef understood. “I’m trying to start a relationship with a mortal. I have to maintain control.”
“And how’s that been working out for you?” Josef arched a facetious eyebrow. It was a rhetorical question. His point made, Josef continued, “Mick, no one, Vampire or otherwise, could ever hope to keep that sort of tightly held control going on an extended basis. Sooner or later, something is going to give.”
“I still don’t see how…”
“Give up that control,” Josef shifted closer. “Scene with me. Let me show you what can be achieved when you let someone else take command.”
Mick’s uncertainty began to waver.
“What have you got to lose?” Mick heard Josef saying to him then, “If it doesn’t work, you’ll at least be able to chalk one up for experience. And if it does…” Josef circled a hand to complete the sentence.
A few moments more of uncertainty; and Mick was drawing in a sharp breath, and nodding his agreement, “Ok.”
“Come with me.” Josef stood up, and extended his hand.
And then Mick was being lead along a series of corridors, towards a room hidden away at the back of the house. An area reserved for Josef’s ‘private’ guests.
“You’ve renovated,” Mick looked around the small, windowless room. The walls painted black. Various iron towers, and wooden constructions illuminated under a glow of red light. “It looks very…”
“BDSM?” Josef finished with overtones of exaggerated helpfulness.
“Yeah, that.” Mick cleared his throat, and averted his eyes for a moment, “So what happens now, what do I do?”
“You do what I tell you to do, Mick,” brow arched, Josef flashed Mick a devastating smile. “First things first though.”
Josef began to run through a checklist of various activities. Negotiating the scene he called it. What was Mick prepared to do, what were his limits?
“No limits.” Mick shrugged, “If we’re going to do this we might as well do it properly. In for a dime, in for a dollar.”
“Oh, ok,” Josef raised a sardonic eyebrow, and affected a challenging stance, “So if I was to break every single bone in your body, you’d be fine with that, would you? What about the rape, and torture of an innocent at my command, you’re happy to go along with that as well?”
“What?” Mick recoiled, completely taken aback by Josef’s words, “Christ, no.”
“Then you have limits, Mick.”
“Yeah, alright.” Mick muttered a sheepish note of agreement, and then hurriedly stammered out a list of things he wasn’t prepared to do, and those he might be persuaded to engage in.
Josef nodded a curt approval, and then made his way over to a steel door cupboard on the far side of the room.
“Take your robe off, I want you naked.” Josef tossed Mick a quick instruction over his shoulder as he proceeded to take an inventory of the cupboards contents. Each item carefully considered. And then accepted, or rejected in turn.
“Ok, now…” Before Mick could finish his sentence, Josef had covered the distance between them. A leather collar and chain link leash attached around Mick’s neck. Mick’s face pulled close to Josef’s own.
“Now, you’re mine.”
Josef’s demeanour noticeably shifted, voice low and presence commanding. The role of Dominant performed with relish. And Mick had to admit, Josef played the lead well.
“Ok,” Mick arched an eyebrow at Josef, the beginnings of a smile playing over his features, “So what do you want me to do, Master?”
Mick found himself being spun around then. Four stinging blows of a riding crop delivered to his bare behind.
“Jesus Christ,” Mick winced, more at the shock of sensation than anything else, “Ok, that hurt.”
“It’s supposed to hurt, Mick.” Josef caressed the leather tress across Mick’s buttocks.
“Yeah, well,” Mick’s voice held a distinct note of indignation, “do you think you could possibly try and not do it so damn hard.”
For his trouble, Mick received another four strikes, rained in quick succession. And then Josef was spinning Mick back around to face him. One hand gripped the leash around Mick’s throat tight. The other dug painful fingers into the line of Mick’s jaw.
“Use the safe words I gave you if you want me to back off, or stop, Mick.” Josef relaxed his vice like hold on Mick’s face, and shifted further into Mick’s space. His lips pressed against Mick’s ear, whispering an illusion of menace, “And you don’t speak unless I give you permission.”
Josef stepped back, and ushered a snapped command of, “Kneel”. Mick forced to his knees by a hard downwards yank on the collar, and leash that encircled his neck.
Looking down at Mick, from his standing vantage, Josef wasn’t sure if Mick was going to bark, sit up and beg, burst out laughing, or a combination of all three. The expression Mick wore seemed more akin to a grinning child’s game. Not that Josef minded necessarily. Mick clearly did not possess a naturally submissive bone in his undead body, and there was nothing wrong with playing a scene for fun.
Josef needed for Mick to be transported into another state of being entirely though. If he was going to have any chance of proving that a relinquishment of control did not always equate to a catastrophic loss thereof. He continued to caress the end of the riding crop over Mick’s unclad flesh. Running it across Mick’s chest, and then down along Mick’s torso whilst he pondered their current dilemma.
And then Mick found himself being hauled to his feet, and hurriedly manoeuvred towards a square pole in the middle of the room. Arms forced above his head. Wrists locked and manacled.
“Don’t go anywhere,” Josef pressed the side of a fist against his mouth, and stifled a laugh at his own joke; “I’ll be back in a moment.”
“Yeah ok, Josef,” Mick rolled his eyes, and drew the line of his mouth into a locked lip smile, “and just where exactly do you think I’m going to go in my current position?”
Again Mick felt the stinging bite of leather connecting with bare flesh.
“Those cuffs that are holding you are made from one hundred percent titanium alloy steel as well, Mick,” Josef stated matter of fact as he stepped back to inspect his handiwork. Admiring the contrast of red stripes across the backdrop of pale skin, “So don’t think you can try and get out of them either.”
Josef waited until he was certain Mick had fallen obediently silent, and then delivered another sharp crack of the whip to Mick’s exposed buttocks.
Mick opened his mouth to protest, but Josef had already pre-empted him.
“The first three, were for speaking without permission.” Josef pressed his lips once more to Mick’s ear. His breath fanned hot across the side of Mick’s face. “The fourth was just because I felt like it.”
“Sadist.” Mick called after Josef’s retreating form. As Josef turned heel, and began to stride from the room.
“Thank you.” Josef threw back at Mick with the sarcastic wave of a hand over his shoulder.
Josef returned a few moments later. Blindfold and thick leather gloves in hand, a third and fourth item hidden in the pockets of his pants. Josef’s gaze locked together with Mick’s. A devilish smile drew the corners of his mouth upwards. The gloves slowly pulled over his hands in an exaggerated display.
Mick’s nerves rose exponentially. His imagination creating all manner of potential scenarios that involved the use of leather clad hands. And then Josef had him blindfolded, the resultant loss of sense only serving to heighten Mick’s anticipation.
“What is…?” Mick caught himself just in time. Something metal cold and sharp pressed against his skin.
“You can speak if you want, Mick.” Josef’s tone was nonchalant. His manner casual, and unaffected, “What do you think it is?”
“It feels like a knife.” Mick drew an unneeded breath, and swallowed nervously.
“And you’d be right,” again the same nonchalant tone, same unaffected manner. “A silver knife to be exact.”
Mick felt the hairs on the back of his neck prick up. “Bullshit, you wouldn’t”
“Oh wouldn’t I?” Josef nicked the surface of Mick’s skin, just enough to allow Mick to feel the first hint of pain, and sickness.
“Jesus…” Adrenalin began to flow through Mick’s body. His voice reduced to a low whisper.
“And yes, it’s sharp.” Mick felt his head being forced back then. The edge of the knife pressed against his exposed throat, “Very sharp as a matter of fact. So I suggest you keep perfectly still, and do what I tell you to do. Is that understood?”
Without waiting for an answer, Josef began to run the blade over Mick’s expanse of naked flesh. Alternating between sensuous caress and a countenance of rapid fire slashes that caused Mick to gasp and bite down on his lower lip in anticipation of the pain that never followed.
Mick closed his eyes behind the covering of the blindfold, and silently prayed Josef knew what he was doing. It felt like he did, how long had he been doing this again?
Mick was finding it difficult to keep focus, strange, because his senses had sharpened to a finely tuned point. The world at once seemed to slip away, and then converge into an acutely heightened awareness of space and time. And Christ this was turning him on, his cock hardening with ever increasing arousal. Josef was running the blade between his legs now, the heel of the knife thrust up against Mick’s perineum.
With the absolute certainty of knowledge born from centuries of experience, Josef understood what was happening then. He would need to tread carefully from hereon in. Even if Mick had wanted to use the safe words provided, Josef doubted him capable of speech.
This is the part Josef had always loved the most. The both of them locked together in an intensely focused dance of domination and submission.
“Trust me.”
Words whispered, registering through an altered state of awareness. And then Mick felt the tip of a knife being pressed against his anus, the blade penetrating his body.
Unbeknownst to Mick, Josef had swapped his previous weapon of choice for a perfectly blunt, perfectly safe dull edged replica. Mick had no way of knowing that though. As far as his fevered imagination was concerned, Josef was fucking him with something very sharp, and very dangerous. The slightest wrong move, the smallest slip in the wrong direction, and he would be facing a world of pain, and gut wrenching sickness.
And Jesus this was still turning him on. Mick’s mind struggled to comprehend that fact. His entire body rushed with the Adrenalin that coursed through it now. Blood fuelled heart pounding rapidly in his throat, an intensity of fear turning his veins to ice. And as soon as Josef touched his cock, Mick knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that he was going to come harder than he had ever imagined possible.
And then Josef did just that. Sinking to his own knees in front of Mick, and taking Mick’s erection into his mouth, Josef began to work his lips and tongue expertly along Mick’s length. Seconds later Mick exploded in a frenzy of pleasure. Back arched, arms straining against the shackles that bound his wrists above his head. Muscles tensed, and then quick snap released. Pulsations of fluid hit the back of Josef’s throat in rapid fire succession.
Josef waited until he had swallowed the last few drops, and then hurriedly unlocked the manacles that held Mick in restraint. Mick felt hands lowering him to the floor then, Josef’s voice instructing, “Take it easy, don’t try and stand up too soon.” Those same hands brushing the line of his jaw, fingers stroked across Mick’s forehead. A glass of fresh blood quickly fetched and pressed into Mick’s hand, “Drink.”
It took a while, but slowly Mick felt himself beginning to reconnect. Finding voice to try and express what had just happened. The words themselves didn’t come so easily.
“Jesus, that was…”
“…intense?”
No, intense didn’t cover it. Intense was Coraline riding him like a bitch in a heat, driving herself onto his cock until it seemed she had managed to drain every last drop of fluid in his body. This...This had been something else entirely.
“Do you want me to stay with you,” Josef’s fingers continued to trace the contours of Mick’s face. A simple gesture of affection designed to offer comfort and reassurance, “Or would you rather be left alone for a while.”
Mick shook his head strenuously, “No, stay, please.”
“Ok.” Josef nodded his understanding, and acceptance. Shifting closer then, allowing Mick to come into his embrace.
“Why would you think I wanted to be left alone after something like that?” Josef heard Mick asking him a few moments later. Mick’s brow scrunched with puzzlement.
“Some people prefer it,” Josef shrugged, and pressed his lips to the top of Mick’s head, his tone of voice kept matter of fact. “Subspace can be an intensely personal experience. People react to it in different ways.”
“Sub…?”
“…Subspace. That altered state of consciousness you were in before. That’s what it’s called.”
Mick seemed to consider this for a moment. “I still don’t get how this is supposed to help me with…Wait,” Realisation began to dawn on him then. Mick suddenly sitting bolt upright, turning to face Josef. Eyes wide and voice racing, “I didn’t vamp out. When I came, I should have vamped out; I should have been unable to fight the urge to bite down, even if it meant having to bite into my own skin. That’s how it happens; it’s how it’s always happened.”
“Not always, Mick,” Josef grinned, and arched a knowing eyebrow, “Haven’t I just proven that to you?”
“Yeah, yeah you did,” Mick’s voice was couched in confusion, the line of his brow once more etched in a question, “So how exactly am I supposed to apply this new found knowledge? What, Beth ties me up, torments me with a knife, and somehow that will lead to us being able to have normal relations like any other couple?”
“No, of course not.” Josef scoffed indignantly, “But at least you understand now that your inner vampire is not some out of control beast that needs to be reigned in at every single turn. Consider it a lesson in paradox. You have to learn to relax, and let go more, my friend.”
“Says the man who suffers fits of paranoia, and rants about torch bearing mobs.” Mick chuckled.
“Touché.”
They each fell into a protracted silence then. Mick lying in Josef’s arms, his head rested against Josef’s shoulder. In the stillness of the room, Mick thought he finally understood. The tighter he had held onto his precious sense of control, the more out of control he had become. It made sense that the opposite might just be the paradoxical truth.
“I should probably go soon,” Mick broke the silence a few moments later, stretching, and stifling a yawn. “I really need to hit the freezer.”
“I’ll see if the Maid service has finished with your clothes,” Josef carefully extricated Mick from his embrace. “In the meantime you’re welcome to borrow my icebox for a few hours.”
“Thanks.”
Josef watched after Mick’s retreating form, as Mick stood up and made his way bleary eyed toward some much needed rest, and reflection. Mick still wasn’t sure he could entirely process what he had just experienced. Surely the answer couldn’t be that easy. Despite his previous sense of understanding, Mick’s doubts remained.
Two weeks later he was back on Josef’s doorstep, looking in significantly better shape than the last time he had been there.
“You sealed the deal, didn’t you?” Josef took one look at the ridiculously wide grin on Mick’s face, and declared in an instant.
“Is it that obvious?” Mick laughed, still grinning like a Cheshire cat.
“Come in.” Josef ushered Mick inside, and fetched a bottle of his finest Cognac. Such a momentous occasion called for a bit of up market celebration. “Well, how was it?”
Mick accepted the glass being pressed into his hand, and tried to act nonchalant, “It was ok, I guess.”
“It was ok, you guess?” Josef rolled his eyes, and snorted an incredulous laugh. “Mr Celibacy, two decades running, finally gets laid, and that’s all you can say for yourself. ‘It was ok, I guess’. That grin plastered all over your face says otherwise, Mick.”
“Yeah ok,” Mick relented, “it was great, better than I remembered. Only…”
“What?”
“I still felt like I was holding back, not letting go enough.” Mick furrowed his brow, a frustrated look falling over his features. And then he was moving off the couch he sat on, and shifting into Josef’s space. His arms around Josef’s neck, lips pressed against Josef’s ear. “I think I might need some more of those lessons of yours, about giving up control.”
Josef arched a surprised eyebrow, a grin forming over his own features.
“Come with me.”