Falling Off the Earth Into the Warm Embrace of Madness
Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been four weeks since my last LJ post.
My stress threshold is reaching new heights.
Not that it isn't a joy to see Liam's joy over the colorful lights or the many new decorative items to break and enjoy. I now have first hand knowledge that a baby in a santa suit is a virtual WMD o' cute. But seriously, the holidays have never not been stressful for me, and this year's additions of a very active toddler, my father's drunken girlfriend, and new "proactively mourning" mother-in-law all descending en masse in thirteen days and counting, has left me twitchy, tetchy, and actively seeking a bottle to drown myself in.
Meanwhile, I'm on the vacation that isn't, trying in vain to get as much done as is possible (read: not a hell of a lot) for Christmas while ninety miles from Ground Zero. I have managed to finish 90% of my Christmas shopping, though, so that's a plus. I've bought the ducks and the puddings, trimmed the baby, and helped my husband and his mother find the true meaning of Christmas, so overall, bully for me.
The problem is, that with all this busyness and stress, I'm totally missing out on the things I used to love about Christmas. My own family commissioned Christmas list is as pathetic as it is depressingly industrial. But at this point in my life, my expectations for Christmas are significantly lower now that I find myself in the primary caregiver role. But just for fun, and in the spirit of the holiday, here is my personal wish list:
A cup of tea and time to enjoy it
My husband smiling on Christmas
A quality chat with a friend
A ten minute shoulder massage
Hope that there are better days and years ahead
Twenty guilt-free minutes to write
To believe in myself
Ten hours of uninterrupted sleep
That would be a very merry Christmas, indeed.
My stress threshold is reaching new heights.
Not that it isn't a joy to see Liam's joy over the colorful lights or the many new decorative items to break and enjoy. I now have first hand knowledge that a baby in a santa suit is a virtual WMD o' cute. But seriously, the holidays have never not been stressful for me, and this year's additions of a very active toddler, my father's drunken girlfriend, and new "proactively mourning" mother-in-law all descending en masse in thirteen days and counting, has left me twitchy, tetchy, and actively seeking a bottle to drown myself in.
Meanwhile, I'm on the vacation that isn't, trying in vain to get as much done as is possible (read: not a hell of a lot) for Christmas while ninety miles from Ground Zero. I have managed to finish 90% of my Christmas shopping, though, so that's a plus. I've bought the ducks and the puddings, trimmed the baby, and helped my husband and his mother find the true meaning of Christmas, so overall, bully for me.
The problem is, that with all this busyness and stress, I'm totally missing out on the things I used to love about Christmas. My own family commissioned Christmas list is as pathetic as it is depressingly industrial. But at this point in my life, my expectations for Christmas are significantly lower now that I find myself in the primary caregiver role. But just for fun, and in the spirit of the holiday, here is my personal wish list:
A cup of tea and time to enjoy it
My husband smiling on Christmas
A quality chat with a friend
A ten minute shoulder massage
Hope that there are better days and years ahead
Twenty guilt-free minutes to write
To believe in myself
Ten hours of uninterrupted sleep
That would be a very merry Christmas, indeed.