Return of the Sam 10/?
Chapter 10
There was a moment of silence during which all of us tried to grasp the severity of the situation in full. I think I was the one who really knew how bad it looked for me but I saw realization dawning on Sam's face too. I kinda spaced out the others, focusing on the one person I truly called a friend. Sam was the one who solved the problems, it had been that way back at Stanford and for sure he hadn't changed that much over the last few years. At least not when it came to how his mind worked.
Crowley kept quiet, too. However, I wasn't sure if it was just because he ran out of snarky comments.
"Cas?" Dean turned to his angel friend, who gave me one long look before he shook his head.
"I'm sorry, Dean." He said with something like regret in his voice. "As long as Crowley is possessing him I can't heal him. And I'm not sure if I'm quick enough to heal him once Crowley has left."
Dean nodded to that as if he'd expected his answer.
"Great. What now?" He made a helpless gesture. "Hook him up with a car battery until we've built him an arc reactor?"
"I'm not sure if you can actually built something like that." Cas answered as if he was honestly considering the option which painted the ghost of a smile on Dean's lips.
"For now Crowley is our battery." Sam jumped on that train of thoughts. "So we have some time to figure this out."
He turned towards me with a questioning look on his face. "Luis?"
"He can hear you Moose." Crowley answered instead. "But for now it's me you have the pleasure with."
Sam made a face but didn't comment on that.
"I'm just thinking, Luis is a surgeon ..." He said, leaving the thought unfinished but I got where he was heading. I'd thought in that direction as well. Going to an ER was out of option but I was more than capable of performing the surgery. Under different circumstances.
"Let me talk to him." I demanded but was actually surprised when I said the words out loud instead of just in my head.
What? He sounded smug. I want this to come to a good end as well. And good end means me and you on separate ways.
"Luis?" Sam asked again but it took me a moment to give him a confirming nod, it was hard to focus on two conversations at the same time.
"Yeah, it's me."
"You know how confusing this is?" Dean threw in from his place where he was still leaning against the bed with Kevin close by to prevent him from face-planting. "When you've no idea who's talking?"
"I'm sorry if my predicament is confusing to you, Dean." Crowley snarled back at him.
"See what I mean?" Dean made an impatient gesture in our direction while looking around for confirmation. "Can't you at least flash your eyes when you switch? Like a Tok'ra or something?"
"Goa'uld." Kevin corrected.
"What?"
"He's evil, so he would be a Goa'uld." Kevin clarified with a glare at us. I hoped it was directed at Crowley.
"Whatever." Dean dismissed him. "How about you let Luis run the show and sit back for once until we've figured this out, asshat?"
Crowley narrowed his eyes on him and I felt his urge to just make Dean scream but to my surprise he had himself under control and didn't give in to his dark thoughts.
Your show, he said instead.
"Okay, it's me again." I tried to say and true to his word I was back in control again. To be honest, this was more frustrating than being forced to be the passenger in my own body. I never knew when Crowley just decided to take over again and with building anticipation I waited for him to do that just because he could and because he knew how much that threw me off every single time.
My body is dying, he reminded me. We're running out of time.
"Could you do it yourself?" Sam brought the conversation back to the topic.
"Maybe." I said but I felt as convinced as that sounded. "I'd have to work via a mirror." I tried to picture that. Opening my own chest, holding my own not beating heart in my hands. Suddenly I felt nauseous and I swayed on my feet.
"Hey." Sam was at my side in a heartbeat, generally speaking because my heart didn't freaking beat. "Take a deep breath. Easy, it's okay."
Taking said deep breath I felt better but at the same time I wondered why I actually could do that without feeling the pain. Thinking about it I didn't feel any pain at all.
You can thank me later.
"I don't think that would work." I swallowed against the bile I could taste in the back of my throat. "Working via mirror would be difficult by itself but I doubt I can reach it properly." I demonstrated what I meant by imitating holding a scalpel to my breastbone. "Open heart surgery is nothing to fool around with."
Seeing the problem Sam nodded. "Crowley can keep your body alive for as long as you need him to." He said not just yet dismissing the idea. He was right, though, this was my only option. "I can assist you."
I wasn't convinced, in fact I was pretty sure that I was about to butcher my own heart, but I nodded and mentally started to gather the things I'd need to perform the operation.
"If I go slow ..." This wasn't about slow or fast, this was about digging out a bullet, which already had gone through my heart once, without causing farther damage and repairing the existing damage after that. Easy as pie.
"I can assist your healing once Crowley has left your body." Castiel offered but judging by the look Dean threw him he wasn't fond of that idea.
"Cas." He said.
"I have more than enough grace left, Dean." Cas fixed him with a stern look. "If I want to use part of it to help your friend, it is my choice."
"You'll need to help me out a lot." I wasn't sure what the angel actually could do. He had brought me here to treat Dean's appendicitis and this was slightly more complicated. "I highly doubt I can do a better job than any of you like this. I'd probably better off if Sam did it, at least he can reach the area properly and can see what he's doing." I didn't mean to say it like that but being realistic I knew my chances weren't good here.
"No way." Sam raised his hands and made an unconscious step back. "I can put stitches in a gash and I can dig a bullet out of your leg but that's it. I can't patch up your heart. I wouldn't even know where to start."
I let my head hung in resignation.
"Yeah, I know." I said in a low whisper.
Man up, Crowley spoke up. You're the only one who can do it, so do it!
To my surprise it was Dean who noticed my distress, the one on top of the I-got-shot-in-the-heart-and-am-possessed-by-a-demon distress.
"Luis." Dean tried to get my attention but it took me a moment to switch from Crowley to Dean. "Realistically speaking, what are your chances?"
"Dean." His brother warned him, however, now all eyes were on me, waiting for an answer.
I took a breath to calm myself.
"Under normal circumstances I would have been dead the second I got shot." I forced myself into my doctor mindset. I was talking about a patient, just a patient, nothing personal.
"Like this?" I addressed the not so normal circumstances. "With a good surgeon, a good staff and the right equipment? Sixty percent. Maybe seventy. Doing it myself? I'm not sure we should even bother."
Suddenly I couldn't look anyone in the eye anymore.
Maybe I should come to terms with Crowley being the devil on my shoulder for the rest of my life, I thought. Aloud I said: "Please, I need a moment." And with that I bolted out of the room.
"Luis, wait." I heard Sam calling after me but nobody actually tried to stop me.
I'm not that bad of a roommate, Crowley whispered in my ear.
"Shut up!"
I didn't know where I was going, I just took off in a random direction. I needed to get away, I needed a moment to think, to breathe.
What did I have to lose? Seriously. Even if I screwed up the operation, which was highly likely, I couldn't be worse off than I already was. As long as Crowley did what he was doing, I was basically immortal.
I could kill you in a heartbeat. Literally. Crowley just had to remind me of that, hadn't he?
Killing me was an empty threat, we both knew that, however, I felt him warming up to the idea of being stuck like this. I didn't need to read his mind to know exactly where his thoughts were heading.
He could use me as a hostage.
Beats dying, he offered and didn't deny the hostage situation.
That did it. I turned on my heel and ran back to the med station.
I burst into the room in the middle of a heated discussion on where to snag another surgeon.
"No!" I cut in rather dramatically. "You're not going to kidnap somebody, force him to perform a risky operation under circumstances he doesn't understand and then just kick him out after he's killed me."
"Luis." Sam started but I cut him off.
"No, you're not going to traumatize another person over this. Just no." I had set my mind. This was on me. So it was on me to set it right. And if I couldn't I would be the one to pay the price, it was only fair.
"I don't think we have another option here." Sam helplessly spread his arms. "You can't do it and believe me, playing meatsuit is not an option either."
"I'll do it."
Sam blinked at me. "You sure?"
"No." I shook my head. "But I have to try. And if I screw up … I don't want to … you know how to cast him out, right? Kick his ass back to hell?
"I do." Sam said thickly, his words holding the promise to do everything he could to help me.
No need to be overly dramatic, Crowley said. The only reason I'm still here is to keep you alive. If you don't want me here anymore …
I didn't answer and focused on what I was about to do instead. Did I mention that I was screwed?
During all this Kevin had been the most quiet. As if he'd been thinking about something.
"Maybe …" He spoke up, obviously not sure if he should say anything at all. "There might be a way to increase your chances."
Chapter 11
Masterpost