The Love of an Angel 7/9
Chapter 7
A few days later they were lying in bed, it was deep in the night and Bessie was fast asleep. Gabriel didn't need to sleep, however, he enjoyed lying next to her and to listen to her breathing. He still couldn't quite believe that he'd found this woman. His Bessie.
A smile ghosted over his face and he reached out to brush the hair out of her forehead. She sighed in her sleep and turned into his touch.
Something was different tonight. Gabriel couldn't place it but something was off.
Bessie lay on her back with the blanket pooled around her waist so it was easy for Gabriel to sneak his hand under the hem of the t-shirt she wore for the night. His pinky just dipped below the waistband of her slip when he spread his fingers and let his hand rest there for a moment. Using all his senses Gabriel searched for the origin of his feeling of difference. Was she sick? Hurt? He could fix almost everything but he needed to find it first.
It was so plain obvious that he missed it at first. When he realized what the difference was, Gabriel yanked his hand back is if he'd burned himself.
It couldn't be. He had to be wrong.
Slowly to not wake her and maybe a little bit afraid of what he'd find Gabriel put his hand back on her lower belly. With closed eyes he focused on his other senses.
What had been a diffuse feeling at first became stronger and clearer by the minute.
Life. A new life was growing right under his hand. Just a few cells, a few hours old at the most, but it was there. The spark of life was growing inside of Bessie.
"No." Gabriel whispered into the silence of the night. "Please no."
This wasn't just a new life, not just a baby. This was a Nephilim. An offspring of a son of God and a daughter of men.
Back in the day they hadn't been that uncommon. But the Nephilims went out of control and God had banished them from the face of the earth. Since then they were forbidden, considered to be abominations by Heaven and men. As far as Gabriel knew the last Nephilim had been killed millennia ago and the angel responsible for its creation had been punished. Grace ripped out of him, fallen to live as a human. Went insane and killed himself not long after.
However, Gabriel's last concern was his own well-being at the moment.
With closed eyes he rested his head on Bessie's shoulder but left his hand where it was.
Bessie didn't know, couldn't know at this point of time, and it would be weeks before she would know for sure. Gabriel could fix this without her ever knowing. As if it had never been there. One thought and he could pretend it had never been there. One thought and it would be gone.
In a minute. He'd do it in a minute.
A Nephilim. She, he could clearly tell it was a she, was neither human nor angel, caught between Heaven and Earth, belonging nowhere.
A Nephilim was different, an abomination. She'd be alone, the only one of her kind. Fitting in nowhere, hated and hunted by everyone.
Gabriel blinked away the tears and pressed a gentle kiss on Bessie's lips. She mumbled something but didn't wake up.
"I'm sorry." He propped himself up on his elbow, eyes fixed on his other hand still low on Bessie's belly.
"It's better this way." He took a deep breath. It would be over in a second.
Gabriel stayed that way for long minutes, didn't move a muscle, didn't even blink, trying to force himself to do it. To erase this abomination that never should have come to existence in the first place.
With a wounded sound he collapsed next to Bessie. He couldn't do it. He couldn't.
"Gabe?" Bessie mumbled in her sleep and reached for him. "You alright?"
He wanted to shake his head and tell her no, nothing was alright but he fell into her embrace instead and hold on to her.
"Shh." She stroke his head. "It's okay." She wasn't even awake and had probably no idea what she was doing but Gabriel just tightened his hold on her.
It wasn't just a Nephilim, it wasn't just an abomination that was growing in Bessie. This was his daughter. She was part him and part Bessie. She had been created by an act of love.
And this was not his decision to make. At least not alone. This had to be Bessie's decision as well. Gabriel couldn't decide for her. He had no idea what he'd do if she didn't want to keep the baby. It was not human. She had every right to decide against it. What he'd do if she wanted the baby Gabriel had no idea either.
Either way, to make a decision Bessie would have to know the details. Gabriel would have to come clean.
Seeking the warmth of her body Gabriel snuggled closer. He would have to tell her the truth and it was quite possible that she'd throw him out of her house, out of her life.
He had dared to picture a life with her, growing old with her. The latter would have required a bit of cheating on his part or maybe he would have told her the truth at some point. But dropping the bomb now? Not only about his true nature but about the growing life in her belly as well? Gabriel wasn't that confident that this would end well.
In the morning he somehow managed to go on like everything was fine. They had breakfast and then Bessie left the house. Gabriel left as soon as he was sure she wouldn't come back because she'd forgotten something. He needed time to think. Space to clear his head.
For a while he lay in the Sahara. Nothing close to civilization in any direction for days, nothing to interrupt his thoughts. He lay there in the hot sand, blue sky and blinding sun above him, hoping for the heat to melt the icy lump in his stomach.
"Man up and get rid of this thing." He tried to encourage himself but it sounded half-hearted at best. He didn't have the guts to do it last night and the longer he thought about it the lesser he wanted to do it. Instead he started to picture himself with Bessie at his side and their little baby girl in the middle of them.
He would have a daughter.
He would be a daddy.
He'd never thought of himself as a daddy. It was a scary thought but on the other hand he was looking forward to it.
But first he would have to talk to Bessie, come clean and hope that she wouldn't yell at him to rip that abnormality out of her body and then to get lost.
While the sun burned down on him Gabriel went through every scenario he could think of of how this could end. Very few had a happy ending but it was either taking the risk and tell Bessie everything or clean up his mess before she noticed that she was pregnant and he couldn't do that.
Gabriel waited until the weekend so Bessie didn't have to go to work right after his confession. This way she would have time to think. And it had nothing to do with stalling, at least that was what he told himself.
On Saturday morning, they had finished breakfast and were done with the dishes, Gabriel summoned up all his courage and said: "Bessie? We need to talk."
continue to chapter 8
back to Masterpost