(no subject)
i'm so tired of everyone.
and i'm SO TIRED of people lately. of people who hurt other people. of people who stab, betray, lie, fuck instead of love, love instead of hate, absorb themselves in themselves, absorb themselves in others, repel, beat, hurt, wound, and make me cry.
i haven't cried in a long time.
i read something about two people who used to mean a lot to me.
i read about what happened in their lives.
i read about how someone ELSE destroyed it.
i read about how something special was ruined.
i read about a soap opera that is going on in this small town.
i read about how people are hurt.
and i thought.
and i thought about what's going on with me. and other people. and about my own life and my own problems. and about other peoples' lives and problems.
i feel so overwhelmed. i feel so depressed and i shouldn't be because college is almost here.
i feel so exhausted because i didn't expect to go to college losing my best friend. someone i've known for 8 years of my life is no longer someone i've known for 8 years of my life. someone important to me is gone, and probably forever.
i didn't expect to go to college knowing that someone else destroyed something someone else had and i couldn't do anything to stop it, even though there's nothing i could do and nothing anyone could do. it's just one of those things that happen to someone you know and you wish it hadn't and therefore feel completely helpless.
i feel helpless.
and hurt.
and alone.
and i want to cry so badly.
i just want this to end.
i want to leave.
and i'm SO TIRED of people lately. of people who hurt other people. of people who stab, betray, lie, fuck instead of love, love instead of hate, absorb themselves in themselves, absorb themselves in others, repel, beat, hurt, wound, and make me cry.
i haven't cried in a long time.
i read something about two people who used to mean a lot to me.
i read about what happened in their lives.
i read about how someone ELSE destroyed it.
i read about how something special was ruined.
i read about a soap opera that is going on in this small town.
i read about how people are hurt.
and i thought.
and i thought about what's going on with me. and other people. and about my own life and my own problems. and about other peoples' lives and problems.
i feel so overwhelmed. i feel so depressed and i shouldn't be because college is almost here.
i feel so exhausted because i didn't expect to go to college losing my best friend. someone i've known for 8 years of my life is no longer someone i've known for 8 years of my life. someone important to me is gone, and probably forever.
i didn't expect to go to college knowing that someone else destroyed something someone else had and i couldn't do anything to stop it, even though there's nothing i could do and nothing anyone could do. it's just one of those things that happen to someone you know and you wish it hadn't and therefore feel completely helpless.
i feel helpless.
and hurt.
and alone.
and i want to cry so badly.
i just want this to end.
i want to leave.