Thoughts
So I'm tired... Tired of being the fat girl... Tired of being the fatest of my friends. I don't want to be a twig, I just want to be a healthy weight... For my height (5'8") I should be around 165... So they say... I don't think have weighed any where near there since I was probably in middle school. That's not a good thing. Supposedly I carry the exesess weight well, but would have to disagree... I carry it and I shouldn't.
Since the middle of July I have been counting calories like a mad woman. And I have seen some results both good and bad. Good is that I have lost over 30 lbs... Bad is that people don't really see me eat anymore and they keeps asking me about it... I do eat... I just eat less now... And I HATE eating infront of people. It just makes me feel fatter.
I love my friends and family... But sometimes I just wish they would just let me be. All I want is support and not a lecture on what I should and should not be doing. It. Drives. Me. NUTS!
So at this point in time I apologize for not going out to eat with people, or participating in your cook out or whatever else that has food there... It challenges my self control and I need all of it can get...
Thanks.
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