Working.....

[embracingmyself]

I am going through a phase in my life where everything is going slowly.  I am looking for speed on certain aspects of my life and its in turtle mode.  Its frustrating when there is so much negativity around and instead of having something nice to say what comes out is wrong.  I am surrounded by this.  I am making a life changing decision and it seem everyone thinks I am not going to do it.  I moving to another state, getting away and starting over.  I am not running away from anything just need something new.   I am scared because I will be doing this on my own.  No family or close family but I do have some friends living there already.  Will it be hard? yes i suspect so.  But I feel stuck where I am right now.  I need this move more than I thought I did and every time I think about the more I know it is for me, even though my family and some so called friend say behind my back that they doubt I will move.  I am in the process of saving money but that isn't what is stopping me- you see I live with my parent who I help out for the last 7 years.  I guess since everyone knows this they feel I won't leave.  That is where they are mistaken.  I want my life back.  I want to make my own decisions without being held back.  I feel bad because I feel like my life has been at a standstill because of taking my parents in.  Does this make me a bad person for wanting to live and find happiness elsewhere?  I don't know but I do know it is time.  I am tired of the cold and the always rushing - I feel good when I think of moving to a warmer climate where its a little less hectic.

Now I just need to get things going.  I want to be making moving plans by the beginning of the year.  HELP!! is what I want to yell.