(no subject)
It hurts to see my dad drunk. he's my favorite person, but when he's drunk it's like he's never loved me before. like when someone has amnesia and they can't remember you at all, except they intentionally lost their memory, it didn't happen by chance, it happened by choice.
Today. let me tell you was horrible. mohamed yelled at me because i trained three people at once, when all i did was exactly what sarah told me to do. i don't understand. i knew it was wrong, but she asked me to do it. so i figured he knew. so now he's like, dissapointed in me or something. great.
i just bought the best phone in the world. i am officially a BAMF and i have to get rid of it. Mohamed offered to get me a phone, but that means i have to get rid of my brand new cute one, and get a nextel. ugh. but i mean. a free phone, is wonderful. i just wish i could keep mine and he would just like, pay my bill or something. but beggars can't be choosers. right?
so now i'm in store 2 all alone. nothing to do. no one to talk to. not by chance, by choice. cortney and nicole wanted to hang out, but sometimes it's weird hanging out with the two of them. just feel like i'm out of place. like. it'd be better if it was just them. i know it isn't true. just how it feels.
i feel like nothing is going my way. i want to go back to school. and i want to date, and not date guys that don't tell me how they feel. i'm sort of sick of falling in love everyday. it isn't real, just something to pass the time. but i feel as if i'm always just trying to pass the time and i kind of can't stand it anymore. this is all just emotional babble.
I wish denise was back. she was always there for me. she listened to me. she knew what she wanted, she said what she wanted. she told me how she felt. i feel like i'm just playing thw guessing game all of the time with everyone. and i just wish i knew what was going on, even just some of the time. i always feel anxious. like i have to choose what to do, when i know that whatever i choose, if someone is unhappy with it, they'll just pretend and i'll never know. i just wish that people say what was on their mind. said what they felt, and just had more confidence in their choices. b/c i can't do it anymore.
Yeah. that's right. I'm freaking out.
Today. let me tell you was horrible. mohamed yelled at me because i trained three people at once, when all i did was exactly what sarah told me to do. i don't understand. i knew it was wrong, but she asked me to do it. so i figured he knew. so now he's like, dissapointed in me or something. great.
i just bought the best phone in the world. i am officially a BAMF and i have to get rid of it. Mohamed offered to get me a phone, but that means i have to get rid of my brand new cute one, and get a nextel. ugh. but i mean. a free phone, is wonderful. i just wish i could keep mine and he would just like, pay my bill or something. but beggars can't be choosers. right?
so now i'm in store 2 all alone. nothing to do. no one to talk to. not by chance, by choice. cortney and nicole wanted to hang out, but sometimes it's weird hanging out with the two of them. just feel like i'm out of place. like. it'd be better if it was just them. i know it isn't true. just how it feels.
i feel like nothing is going my way. i want to go back to school. and i want to date, and not date guys that don't tell me how they feel. i'm sort of sick of falling in love everyday. it isn't real, just something to pass the time. but i feel as if i'm always just trying to pass the time and i kind of can't stand it anymore. this is all just emotional babble.
I wish denise was back. she was always there for me. she listened to me. she knew what she wanted, she said what she wanted. she told me how she felt. i feel like i'm just playing thw guessing game all of the time with everyone. and i just wish i knew what was going on, even just some of the time. i always feel anxious. like i have to choose what to do, when i know that whatever i choose, if someone is unhappy with it, they'll just pretend and i'll never know. i just wish that people say what was on their mind. said what they felt, and just had more confidence in their choices. b/c i can't do it anymore.
Yeah. that's right. I'm freaking out.