you hope for and you regret.
This is going to be a long entry. Sorry for clogging your friends page.
I am not even considerate enough to use a cut.
Well, I feel like im losing you as a friend. I feel like last year you only had me and now that you have more outrageous and witty people around you I am no longer needed. You are easily my best friend and now we don't talk and you don't return my calls. It is as though we had a horrible relationship and you just want to replace me.
And you have. Proving my biggest fear is true. I am completely unnecessary. Maybe we have used all of our quips on eachother and can no longer be impressed or maybe I am just dull. I am nothing special. It makes sense that I feel pushed aside to make room for people that were very close to me, they're a new improved version of me. Cool.
We don't do anything together anymore. I don't even know why I am surprised. We were too close to be friends much longer, I mean, how often do you find someone who you can honestly say knows you inside and out? Maybe I was a project for you, to see if fat people had feelings too. To see if my existence actually has a purpose. Or maybe we really were friends. Good friends that ten years from now you'll look back on and say, "Gee, I wonder what she's up to know." and you check it out and you find that nothings changed. I'll still be a fat hooker, except now- I won't even care enough to brake for animals.
Maybe this is dumb or maybe I am actually onto something. Maybe we are unraveling like a horrible sweater, you'll be relieved when it's gone because then you will have an excuse to tell your Grandma when she visits and you aren't wearing it.
No, I am not mad at you, but seriously and honestly, if I were upset do you think you even care enough to bring me candy to try to cheer me up?
I didn't think so either. Don't worry, it's my fault.
I am almost sure that I'll get vague comments from people who skimmed this saying,"Oh, you aren't mad at me, are you?" and the typical livejournal, "Hang in there. It will get better."
And boy oh boy, I can't fucking wait.
I am not even considerate enough to use a cut.
Well, I feel like im losing you as a friend. I feel like last year you only had me and now that you have more outrageous and witty people around you I am no longer needed. You are easily my best friend and now we don't talk and you don't return my calls. It is as though we had a horrible relationship and you just want to replace me.
And you have. Proving my biggest fear is true. I am completely unnecessary. Maybe we have used all of our quips on eachother and can no longer be impressed or maybe I am just dull. I am nothing special. It makes sense that I feel pushed aside to make room for people that were very close to me, they're a new improved version of me. Cool.
We don't do anything together anymore. I don't even know why I am surprised. We were too close to be friends much longer, I mean, how often do you find someone who you can honestly say knows you inside and out? Maybe I was a project for you, to see if fat people had feelings too. To see if my existence actually has a purpose. Or maybe we really were friends. Good friends that ten years from now you'll look back on and say, "Gee, I wonder what she's up to know." and you check it out and you find that nothings changed. I'll still be a fat hooker, except now- I won't even care enough to brake for animals.
Maybe this is dumb or maybe I am actually onto something. Maybe we are unraveling like a horrible sweater, you'll be relieved when it's gone because then you will have an excuse to tell your Grandma when she visits and you aren't wearing it.
No, I am not mad at you, but seriously and honestly, if I were upset do you think you even care enough to bring me candy to try to cheer me up?
I didn't think so either. Don't worry, it's my fault.
I am almost sure that I'll get vague comments from people who skimmed this saying,"Oh, you aren't mad at me, are you?" and the typical livejournal, "Hang in there. It will get better."
And boy oh boy, I can't fucking wait.