(no subject)
I can't stand fake people. I just relised that a bit ago. I mean, recently I've become friends (as opposed to just good aquintances) with both Chris and Amanda, and even Will just because when I'm around them, I know what to expect. Like, they're good friends, and they're very likeable people, but it's always good thats I don't have to deal with them being erratic as people.
I believe the reason why it's hard to beat being genuine is that when you're faking it, it's hard to be the same day in, day out. When you're playing to the crowd, it's just not possible to keep the game face on all the time. At one point another, you take a break, even when you're not with someone you have to pretend to, but it eventually gets around. Eventually people see who you are or that you're just trying to play them like a fiddle.
Don't get me wrong in saying that all geniune people are cool. There are genuine assholes. I would say there are alot of them. But people who are genuinely people who you just enjoy hanging with 'cause it makes you at ease.
Also, while talking to Amanda, doing drugs, oddly enough, has let me be me. I was probably the least self-censored person within "the group" as I was for most purposes, not even in it. I did what I pleased, much to the dismay of others. I'm glad though that I began doing what I've been doing without inhibitions about it because it allows me to relax (not being high, but doing it and not limiting myself). Doing drugs has allowed me to keep in tune with myself and I think since starting I've become better as a person.
Essentially, I have learned importance of letting things work their course. Trying to force your future, your image and your friends has nothing but energy working against you. Trying to control something of such a large nature is simply a task that is not to undertaken. Nothing ill comes of letting things work their course. Accepting who and what you are, doing what you feel is best suited to what you want to achieve for yourself is ultimately what most people strive for. I feel only so lucky to have found it.
I believe the reason why it's hard to beat being genuine is that when you're faking it, it's hard to be the same day in, day out. When you're playing to the crowd, it's just not possible to keep the game face on all the time. At one point another, you take a break, even when you're not with someone you have to pretend to, but it eventually gets around. Eventually people see who you are or that you're just trying to play them like a fiddle.
Don't get me wrong in saying that all geniune people are cool. There are genuine assholes. I would say there are alot of them. But people who are genuinely people who you just enjoy hanging with 'cause it makes you at ease.
Also, while talking to Amanda, doing drugs, oddly enough, has let me be me. I was probably the least self-censored person within "the group" as I was for most purposes, not even in it. I did what I pleased, much to the dismay of others. I'm glad though that I began doing what I've been doing without inhibitions about it because it allows me to relax (not being high, but doing it and not limiting myself). Doing drugs has allowed me to keep in tune with myself and I think since starting I've become better as a person.
Essentially, I have learned importance of letting things work their course. Trying to force your future, your image and your friends has nothing but energy working against you. Trying to control something of such a large nature is simply a task that is not to undertaken. Nothing ill comes of letting things work their course. Accepting who and what you are, doing what you feel is best suited to what you want to achieve for yourself is ultimately what most people strive for. I feel only so lucky to have found it.